155 Putting it in Writing
Sentence construction
Sentences express ideas. They will express your ideas more
strongly if they are constructed sturdily. Sentences are weaker
when they are too long or poorly built. Aim always in your
sentences to say what you mean
and no more
.
Follow the ‘15–25’ rule. Message sentences, topic sentences
and other sentences expressing big ideas should never exceed
15 words. All other sentences should remain within 25 words
long.
Strengthen sentences by:
• cutting long sentences into separate sentences;
• separating multiple sentences;
• rebuilding complicated sentences;
• making non-sentences grammatically correct;
• finding strong subjects and verbs.
We are now examining the business case for buying a back-up
server. This could:
• minimise potential down-time;
• minimise operational risk;
• also be used for system testing.
A decision is needed by the end of March to avoid extra hire
costs or the loss of the rented machine.
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
156 Improve your Communication Skills
Editing words
English has a huge vocabulary. One of the main reasons is that
the language is a hybrid; many ideas can be expressed with two or
three words. Maybe for this reason more than any other, plain
English has grown up as a way of helping us to choose the best
words for our needs.
Editing a long sentence
It was originally planned that data conversion and
implementation across the remaining business areas would
follow at the end of September 2008, but following a variety of
problems, considerable scope drift, changes of personnel on the
project team and several amendments to the timetable,
conversion did not take place until 1 April 2009 and some users
were still using parts of the old system until it was finally
disconnected in July 2009.
This is easily improved by cutting the sentence at the
conjunctions – but, and – and using a vertical list:
The project team originally planned to convert data and
implement the system in remaining business areas at the end
of September 2008. However, conversion was delayed by
changes in:
• the scope of the project;
• personnel on the project team;
• the timetable.
The system was finally converted on 1 April 2009. Some users
continued to use parts of the old system until it was
disconnected in July 2009.
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
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