Improve Your Communication Skills, 2nd Edition

Reality checking 
Creative tension depends as much on a clear perception of 
reality as on a clear goal. Look reality coolly in the face. Be 
objective; avoid judgement. Instead of describing past 
performance, for example, as ‘bad’ or ‘inadequate’, focus on the 
specific aspects of it that need improvement. Walk the coachee 
down the Ladder of Inference and offer verifiable, measurable 
observations: 
• ‘What have you tried so far?’ 
• ‘What were the results?’ 
• ‘Exactly how much under target did you come in?’ 
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106 Improve your Communication Skills
• ‘What resources do you lack?’ 
• ‘When did you last check the situation?’ 
• ‘Where were the actual difficulties?’ 
Remember that a good deal of current reality is inner reality. 
Follow where the coachee’s concerns take you and (gently) 
investigate their emotional responses. 
• ‘How did you feel when you tried...?’ 
• ‘What emotions arise when you talk about…?’ 
• ‘Is there anything you’re afraid of?’ 
• ‘How do you think you might be preventing yourself 
from achieving more?’ 
Options for action 
This is potentially the most creative part of the coaching 
process. Your purpose here is to find as many options for action 
as possible, in order to choose specific, realistic ‘next steps’. 
‘The opponent within one’s own head’ can be a powerful 
censor: 
• ‘It can’t be done.’ 
• ‘We can’t do it like that.’ 
• ‘They would never agree to it.’ 
• ‘It will be too expensive.’ 
• ‘Altogether too risky/disruptive/complicated/radical.’ 
• ‘I don’t have the time.’ 
• ‘That’s already been tried – and look what happened.’ 
You might counter these objections with ‘What if’ questions: