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Defining friendship as it occurs in real life
A friendship occurs when a bond is made between two people that go beyond being an
acquaintance. A friendship that is healthy should contain respect, where both people
respect each other in a somewhat equal fashion. The two should also care about the fate
of the other, and may also care about the emotional and physical wellbeing of the other.
A friendship may also include acts, be they of kindness or in general, that work for the
best interest of the other without requiring anything tangible in return.
Example 1 – acts of kindness without requiring anything in return
An example of this includes when a young man was dumped by the girlfriend he was
living with. The relationship had gone on since school up into college whereupon the
two had moved in together. The man’s friend, upon discovering that his friend was
moving out of the house he and his girlfriend shared, went over the help him move out
of his house into a family member’s house.
Example 2 – acting in the best interest of the other person
A young woman repeatedly saw the partner of her friend flirt with other women and he
appeared on many occasions to be taking it a little too far. The woman did not want to
tell her friend just in case she was overreacting, plus it may have damaged their
relationship. Instead, she spoke to one of the women that the man was flirting with and
convinced her to show her girlfriend the text messages that the man had been sending
her. That way her friend was able to see what her boyfriend was up to without it
damaging the friendship between the two women.
Example 3 – providing support for the other person without any tangible reward
There are numerous occasions in college when students have gone out of their way to
be there for their friends during times of illness and grief without ever receiving
anything in return. One may assume that if material rewards were not received that
maybe they hoped the other would provide the same type of support when they were ill
or upset, and yet there are many times when the person giving never receives it back
(possibly because it was not needed) and yet the friendship remained strong.
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