He talks to the baby a lot. I finally felt comfortable enough to let him
feel the baby kick a couple of weeks ago and since then, he stops by
sometimes just to talk to my belly and doesn’t even say much to me. I like
it, though. I like how excited he is to be a father.
I grab the blanket Ryle slept on the couch with last night and wrap it
over me. He’s been staying here for a week now, waiting for me to go into
labor. I wasn’t sure about the arrangement at first, but it’s actually been
really helpful. I still sleep in the guest bedroom. The third bedroom is now
a nursery, which means the master bedroom is available for him to sleep
in. But for whatever reason, he chooses to sleep on the couch. I think the
memories in that bedroom plague him just as much as they plague me, so
neither of us even bothers going in there.
The last several weeks have been really good. Aside from the fact that
there’s absolutely no physical relationship between us at this point, things
feel like they’ve kind of gone back to how they used to be. He still works a
lot, but on the evenings he’s off, I’ve started having dinner upstairs with all
of them. We never eat alone as a couple, though. Anything that might feel
like a date or a couples thing, I avoid. I’m still trying to focus on one
monumental thing at a time, and until this baby is born and my hormones
are back to normal, I refuse to make a decision about my marriage. I’m
sure I’m just using the pregnancy as an excuse to stall the inevitable, but
being pregnant allows a person to be a little selfish.
My phone begins to ring, and I drop my head into the couch and
groan. My phone is all the way in the kitchen. That’s like fifteen feet from
here.
Ugh.
I push myself off the couch, but nothing happens.
I try it again.
Still sitting.
I grab hold of the arm of my chair and pull myself up.
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