Лексикология английского языка

III. Find the euphemisms in the following sentences and jokes. Name the words for which they serve as euphemistic substitutes.

1. Policeman (to intoxicated man who is trying to fit his key to a lamp-post): I'm afraid there's nobody home there tonight. M a n: Mus' be. Mus' be. Theresh a light upstairsh. 2. "Johnny, where do you think God is this morning?" asked the Sunday-school teacher. "In our bathroom," was the reply. "What on earth makes you say that?" asked the amazed teacher. "Because just before I left I heard pa say, "My Lord! How long are you going to be in there?" 3. The doctor had an inveterate punster and wit among his patients. One day he was late in making his rounds, and explained to the incorrigible humourist that he had stopped to attend a man who had fallen down a well. With a groan of agony, the wit mus­tered up strength enough to murmur: "Did he kick the bucket, doctor?" 4. A girl was to visit her serviceman brother at a military hospital. While stopping at the desk of the officer of the day for directions to the pa­tient's ward she asked: "Would you kindly tell me where the powder room is?" "Miss," the corpsman on duty replied with dignity, "this is a hospital, not an ar­senal." 5. First S t u d en t: Great Scott! I've forgot- ten who wrote Ivanhoe. Second Ditto: I'll tell you if you tell me who the dickens wrote The Tale of Two Cities. 6. So, for the love of Mike, come across to our table and help things along. 7. He was high and didn't know what he was saying. 8. "You never know with lu­natics," said the young man chattily. "They don't al­ways look balmy, you know." 9. "But what I mean was, it sounds more like a rather idiotic kind of hoax. Per­haps some convivial idiot who had had one over the eight." "Nine? Nine what?" "Nothing — just an ex­pression. I meant a fellow who was tight." 10. "Funny old thing," said Lily Marbury indulgently. "Looks half batty to my mind." 11. "I think the fellow's half a loony. He needs some one to look after him."