"The Unbearable Lightness Of Being" By Milan Kundera
6
He himself was surprised. He had acted against his principles. Ten
years earlier, when
he had divorced his wife, he celebrated the event the way others celebrate a marriage.
He understood he was not born to live side by side with any woman and could be fully
himself only as a bachelor. He tried to design his life in such a way that no woman
could move in with a suitcase. That was why his flat had only the one bed. Even though
it was wide enough, Tomas would tell his mistresses that he was unable to fall asleep
with anyone next to him, and drive them home after midnight. And so it was not the flu
that kept him from sleeping with Tereza on her first visit. The first night he had slept in
his
large armchair, and the rest of that week he drove each night to the hospital, where
he had a cot in his office.
But this time he fell asleep by her side. When he woke up the next morning, he found
Tereza, who was still asleep, holding his hand. Could they have been hand in hand all
night? It was hard to believe.
And while she breathed the deep breath of sleep and held his hand (firmly: he was
unable to disengage it from her grip), the enormously heavy suitcase stood by the bed.
He refrained from loosening his hand from her grip for fear of waking her, and turned
carefully on his side to observe her better.
Again it occurred to him that Tereza was a child put in a
pitch-daubed bulrush basket
and sent downstream. He couldn't very well let a basket with a child in it float down a
stormy river! If the Pharaoh's daughter hadn't snatched the basket carrying little Moses
from the waves, there would have been no Old Testament, no civilization as we now
know it! How many ancient myths begin with the rescue of an abandoned child! If
Polybus hadn't taken in the young Oedipus, Sophocles wouldn't have written his most
beautiful tragedy!
Tomas did not realize at the time that metaphors are dangerous. Metaphors are not to
be trifled with. A single metaphor can give birth to love.
He lived a scant two years with his wife, and they had a son.
At the divorce
proceedings, the judge awarded the infant to its mother and ordered Tomas to pay a
third of his salary for its support. He also granted him the right to visit the boy every
other week.
But each time Tomas was supposed to see him, the boy's mother found an excuse to
keep him away. He soon realized that bringing them expensive gifts would make things
a good deal easier, that he was expected to bribe the mother for the son's love. He saw
a future of quixotic attempts to inculcate his views in the boy, views opposed in every
way to the mother's. The very thought of it exhausted him. When,
one Sunday, the
boy's mother again canceled a scheduled visit, Tomas decided on the spur of the
moment never to see him again.
Why should he feel more for that child, to whom he was bound by nothing but a single
improvident night, than for any other? He would be scrupulous about paying support; he
"The Unbearable Lightness Of Being" By Milan Kundera
7
just didn't want anybody making him fight for his son in the name of paternal
sentiments!
Needless to say, he found no sympathizers. His own parents condemned him roundly:
if Tomas refused to take an interest in his son, then they, Tomas's parents, would no
longer take an interest in theirs. They made a great show of
maintaining good relations
with their daughter-in-law and trumpeted their exemplary stance and sense of justice.
Thus in practically no time he managed to rid himself of wife, son, mother, and father.
The only thing they bequeathed to him was a fear of women. Tomas desired but feared
them. Needing to create a compromise between fear and desire, he devised what he
called erotic friendship. He would tell his mistresses: the only relationship that can
make both partners happy is one in which sentimentality has no place and neither
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