Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain
(Damasio), 122
direct or assertive voice, 32–33, 48
Double Indemnity (film), 129
Downs v. United States, 10
Dutton, Kevin, 149, 150
Ecuador kidnapping, 164–67, 169–70
Egypt-Israel peace treaty, 133
email technique, 20, 92–93, 95
emotion
amygdala and fear, 55, 61, 62
anchoring emotions, 20, 128–29
avoiding escalations, 204
careful use of, 204
communication derailed by, 49
contract for Robin Williams in Aladdin and, 123
decision-making and, 122, 123

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detecting the other person’s, 55–56
Harlem stand-off negotiation, 49–51, 54–55
intentionally mislabeling, reason for, 91, 94
Iranian sanctions and, 123–24
Japanese regulating technique, 159
labeling, 50, 54–73
negative emotions, 57–61
“presenting” behavior and “underlying” feeling, 57
primal needs and, 84
regulating, during negotiation, 156–59, 161
replacing negative with positive, 59, 73
responses to verbal assaults, 159
role in negotiation, 49–50
Ultimatum Game and, 121–22
emotional intelligence, 19, 33, 50, 52. See also tactical
empathy
empathy, 15, 53–54, 72, 128. See also tactical empathy
BCSM and, 97
definition, 51–52
FBI crisis negotiation techniques and, 16
“forced empathy,” 168, 180
Hillary Clinton and, 53
labeling and, 68
as a mood enhancer, 62
negotiation and, 16, 53–54, 61, 70–71
neural resonance and, 53
projection versus, 120
rapport based on, 70

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as “soft” communication skill, 53
using an empathy message in negotiations, 182
using labeling to create, 239
using your own name (Chris discount) and, 179–80, 187
verbal and nonverbal language to signal, 46
encouragers, 103
Estabrook, Robert, 150–51
Evelsizer, Marti, 86–87, 88
execution of agreements, 20, 162–87
articulation of implementation, 169
How as necessary with Yes, 164–69
How question and implementation, 168–69, 186
prison siege, St. Martin Parish, Louisiana, 162–63
Rule of Three and, 177–78
fairness, 20, 139
compromise as a bad deal, 115–16, 139
contract for Robin Williams in Aladdin and, 123
error in using, 183
Iranian sanctions and, 123–24
NFL lockout and, 125
Ultimatum Game, 120–23
Voss’s use of, 125–26
when and how to use in negotiation, 124–26
why it’s powerful, 122–24
falsehoods and liars, 172, 173, 176
number of words used, 178
Pinocchio effect, 178
Rule of Three and, 177–78, 186

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use of pronouns, 178
fear
amygdala and, 55, 61, 62, 243
labeling and calming, 61, 63, 64, 67, 73
of negotiating, 242
Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Ackerman system, 21
“country clearance,” 58
Crisis Negotiation Teams, 49–51, 76–77, 86–87
crisis negotiation techniques, 4–5, 13–16, 141, 149, 165,
166, 167, 170, 174
Crisis Negotiation Unit (CNU), 96–97, 170
Critical Incident Response Group (CIRG), 14
Giffe hijacking hostages, mishandling of, 9–10
Hostage Rescue Team (HRT), 96
Joint Terrorism Task Force (JTTF), 24, 76, 77–78, 98
kidnapping negotiations, 141
number of agents, 1
Quantico, 96, 164, 173, 216
Ruby Ridge, Waco, and negotiation approach, 13–14
Supervisory Special Agent (SSA), 96
SWAT teams, 49, 76
Voss as a SSA with the CNU, 96
Voss as international kidnapping negotiator, 1, 98, 164
Voss begins career with, 76
Voss begins negotiator career at, 85
Voss on the JTTF, New York, 76, 77–78, 98
Fields, W. C., 178

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financial negotiations. See also bargaining
car-buying, 119, 188–90, 243
Chris discount, 180
getting a rent cut, 208–11
getting your counterparts to bid against themselves and,
181–85
MBA student and soliciting funds, 200–201
Fisher, Roger, 10–11, 252