Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

you would rather run the risk of keeping the place
unrented.”
“It’s not that,” the agent answered. “But I can’t give you
a number lower than the market.”

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Mishary made a dramatic pause, as if the agent was
extracting every cent he had.
“Then I tell you what, I initially went up from $1,730 to
$1,790,” he said, sighing. “I will bring it up to $1,810. And
I think this works well for both.”
The agent shook his head.
“This is still lower than the market, sir. And I cannot do
that.”
Mishary then prepared to give the last of his Ackerman
offers. He went silent for a while and then asked the agent
for a pen and paper. Then he started doing fake calculations
to seem like he was really pushing himself.
Finally, he looked up at the agent and said, “I did some
numbers, and the maximum I can afford is $1,829.”
The agent bobbed his head from side to side, as if
getting his mind around the offer. At last, he spoke.
“Wow. $1,829,” he said. “You seem very precise. You
must be an accountant. [Mishary was not.] Listen, I value
you wanting to renew with us and for that I think we can
make this work for a twelve-month lease.”
Ka-ching! Notice this brilliant combination of decreasing
Ackerman offers, nonround numbers, deep research, smart
labeling, and saying no without saying “No”? That’s what
gets you a rent discount when a landlord wanted to raise his
monthly take.
KEY LESSONS
When push comes to shove—and it will—you’re going to

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find yourself sitting across the table from a bare-knuckle
negotiator. After you’ve finished all the psychologically
nuanced stuff—the labeling and mirroring and calibrating—
you are going to have to hash out the “brass tacks.”
For most of us, that ain’t fun.
Top negotiators know, however, that conflict is often the
path to great deals. And the best find ways to actually have
fun engaging in it. Conflict brings out truth, creativity, and
resolution. So the next time you find yourself face-to-face
with a bare-knuckle bargainer, remember the lessons in this
chapter.
■
Identify your counterpart’s negotiating style.
Once
you
know
whether
they
are
Accommodator, Assertive, or Analyst, you’ll
know the correct way to approach them.
■
Prepare, prepare, prepare. When the pressure is
on, you don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to
your highest level of preparation. So design an
ambitious but legitimate goal and then game out
the labels, calibrated questions, and responses
you’ll use to get there. That way, once you’re at
the bargaining table, you won’t have to wing it.
■
Get ready to take a punch. Kick-ass negotiators
usually lead with an extreme anchor to knock
you off your game. If you’re not ready, you’ll
flee to your maximum without a fight. So prepare

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your dodging tactics to avoid getting sucked into
the compromise trap.
■
Set boundaries, and learn to take a punch or
punch back, without anger. The guy across the
table is not the problem; the situation is.
■
Prepare an Ackerman plan. Before you head into
the weeds of bargaining, you’ll need a plan of
extreme anchor, calibrated questions, and well-
defined offers. Remember: 65, 85, 95, 100
percent. Decreasing raises and ending on
nonround numbers will get your counterpart to
believe that he’s squeezing you for all you’re
worth when you’re really getting to the number
you want.

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