2.
I swiveled around when I heard the window open, and Margo’s blue eyes were
staring back at me. Her eyes were all I could see at first, but as my vision
adjusted, I realized she was wearing black face paint and a black hoodie. “Are
you having cybersex?” she asked.
“I’m IM’ing with Ben Starling.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, perv.”
I laughed awkwardly, then walked over and knelt by the window, my face
inches from hers. I couldn’t imagine why she was here, in my window, like this.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked. Margo and I were still friendly, I
guess, but we weren’t meet-in-the-dead-of-night-wearing-black-face-paint
friendly. She had friends for that, I’m sure. I just wasn’t among them.
“I need your car,” she explained.
“I don’t have a car,” I said, which was something of a sore point for me.
“Well, I need your mom’s car.”
“You have your own car,” I pointed out.
Margo puffed out her cheeks and sighed. “Right, but the thing is that my
parents have taken the keys to my car and locked them inside a safe, which they
put under their bed, and Myrna Mountweazel”— who was her dog—“is sleeping
inside their room. And Myrna Mountweazel has a freaking aneurysm whenever
she catches sight of me. I mean, I could totally sneak in there and steal the safe
and crack it and get my keys out and drive away, but the thing is that it’s not
even worth trying because Myrna Mountweazel is just going to bark like crazy if
I so much as crack open the door. So like I said, I need a car. Also, I need you to
drive it, because I have to do eleven things tonight, and at least five of them
involve a getaway man.”
When I let my sight unfocus, she became nothing but eyes, floating in the
ether. And then I locked back on her, and I could see the outline of her face, the
paint still wet against her skin. Her cheekbones triangulating into her chin, her
pitch-black lips barely turned to a smile. “Any felonies?” I asked.
“Hmm,” said Margo. “Remind me if breaking and entering is a felony.”
“No,” I answered firmly.
“No it’s not a felony or no you won’t help?”
“No I won’t help. Can’t you enlist some of your underlings to drive you
around?” Lacey and/or Becca were always doing her bidding.
“They’re part of the problem, actually,” Margo said.
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“There are eleven problems,” she said somewhat impatiently.
“No felonies,” I said.
“I swear to God that you will not be asked to commit a felony.”
And right then, the floodlights came on all around Margo’s house. In one
swift motion, she somersaulted through my window, into my room, and then
rolled beneath my bed. Within seconds, her dad was standing on the patio
outside. “Margo!” he shouted. “I saw you!”
From beneath my bed, I heard a muffled, “Oh, Christ.” Margo scooted out
from under the bed, stood up, walked to the window, and said, “Come on, Dad.
I’m just trying to have a chat with Quentin. You’re always telling me what a
fantastic influence he could be on me and everything.”
“Just chatting with Quentin?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are you wearing black face paint?”
Margo faltered for only the briefest moment. “Dad, to answer that question
would take hours of backstory, and I know that you’re probably very tired, so
just go back t—”
“In the house,” he thundered. “This minute!”
Margo grabbed hold of my shirt, whispered, “Back in a minute,” in my ear,
and then climbed out the window.
As soon as she left, I grabbed my car keys from my desk. The keys are mine; the
car, tragically, is not. On my sixteenth birthday, my parents gave me a very small
gift, and I knew the moment they handed it to me that it was a car key, and I
about peed myself, because they’d said over and over again that they couldn’t
afford to give me a car. But when they handed me the tiny wrapped box, I knew
they’d been tricking me, that I was getting a car after all. I tore off the wrapping
paper and popped open the little box. Indeed, it contained a key.
Upon close inspection, it contained a Chrysler key. A key for a Chrysler
minivan. The one and the same Chrysler minivan owned by my mother.
“My present is a key to your car?” I asked my mom.
“Tom,” she said to my dad, “I told you he would get his hopes up.”
“Oh, don’t blame me,” my dad said. “You’re just sublimating your own
frustration with my income.”
“Isn’t that snap analysis a tad passive-aggressive?” my mother asked.
“Aren’t rhetorical accusations of passive aggression inherently passive-
aggressive?” my dad responded, and they went on like that for a while.
The long and short of it was this: I had access to the vehicular awesomeness
that is a late-model Chrysler minivan, except for when my mom was driving it.
And since she drove to work every morning, I could only use the car on
weekends. Well, weekends and the middle of the goddamned night.
It took Margo more than the promised minute to return to my window, but
not much more. But in the time she was gone, I’d started to waffle again. “I’ve
got school tomorrow,” I told her.
“Yeah, I know,” Margo answered. “There’s school tomorrow and the day
after that, and thinking about that too long could make a girl bonkers. So, yeah.
It’s a school night. That’s why we’ve got to get going, because we’ve got to be
back by morning.”
“I don’t know.”
“Q,” she said. “Q. Darling. How long have we been dear friends?”
“We’re not friends. We’re neighbors.”
“Oh, Christ, Q. Am I not nice to you? Do I not order my various and sundry
minions to be kind to you at school?”
“Uh-huh,” I answered dubiously, although in point of fact I’d always figured
it was Margo who had stopped Chuck Parson and his ilk from screwing with us.
She blinked. She’d even painted her eyelids. “Q,” she said, “we have to go.”
And so I went. I slid out the window, and we ran along the side of my house,
heads down, until we opened the doors of the minivan. Margo whispered not to
close the doors—too much noise—so with the doors open, I put it in neutral,
pushed off the cement with my foot, and then let the minivan roll down the
driveway. We rolled slowly past a couple houses before I turned on the engine
and the headlights. We closed the doors, and then I drove through the serpentine
streets of Jefferson Park’s endlessness, the houses all still new-looking and
plastic, like a toy village housing tens of thousands of real people.
Margo started talking. “The thing is they don’t even really care; they just feel
like my exploits make them look bad. Just now, do you know what he said? He
said, ‘I don’t care if you screw up your life, but don’t embarrass us in front of the
Jacobsens—they’re our friends.’ Ridiculous. And you have no idea how hard
they’ve made it to get out of that goddamned house. You know how in prison-
escape movies they put bundled-up clothes under the blankets to make it look
like there’s a person in there?” I nodded. “Yeah, well, Mom put a goddamned
baby monitor in my room so she could hear my sleep-breathing all night. So I
just had to pay Ruthie five bucks to sleep in my room, and then I put bundled-up
clothes in her room.” Ruthie is Margo’s little sister. “It’s Mission: Impossible
shit now. Used to be I could just sneak out like a regular goddamned American
—just climb out the window and jump off the roof. But God, these days, it’s like
living in a fascist dictatorship.”
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Well, first we’re going to Publix. Because for reasons I’ll explain later, I
need you to go grocery shopping for me. And then to Wal-Mart.”
“What, we’re just gonna go on a grand tour of every commercial
establishment in Central Florida?” I asked.
“Tonight, darling, we are going to right a lot of wrongs. And we are going to
wrong some rights. The first shall be last; the last shall be first; the meek shall do
some earth-inheriting. But before we can radically reshape the world, we need to
shop.” I pulled into the Publix then, the parking lot almost entirely empty, and
parked.
“Listen,” she said, “how much money do you have on you right now?”
“Zero dollars and zero cents,” I answered. I turned off the ignition and
looked over at her. She wriggled a hand into a pocket of her tight, dark jeans and
pulled out several hundred-dollar bills. “Fortunately, the good Lord has
provided,” she said.
“What the hell?” I asked.
“Bat mitzvah money, bitch. I’m not allowed to access the account, but I know
my parents’ password because they use ‘myrnamountw3az3l’ for everything. So
I made a withdrawal.” I tried to blink away the awe, but she saw the way I was
looking at her and smirked at me. “Basically,” she said, “this is going to be the
best night of your life.”
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