Watch Amy Cuddy’s TED-Talk !
Chapter 62: Ask for what you really want
“Ask and you shall receive”
Matthew, 7, 7
Just ask! It’s far better to ask and get rejected that to not ask and go along with
the thought “if I had only asked”. Ask for a better table in the restaurant, ask for
the upgrade at the airport, and ask for the salary raise you have been waiting for.
ASK! You already have the “No” for an answer, but maybe you will see some
surprises. If you ask you at least have the opportunity to get what you want. Ask
your loved one for what you want. Your boss, your friends.
Don’t expect them
to read your mind!
Think about it! Aren’t many things that hurt us based on the
too high expectations that we had? This happened to me mostly in my romantic
relationships. I was disappointed many times because my loved one just wasn’t
able to read my mind. That is, until I said, “That’s it” and finally started asking
for what I wanted. Another example is our boss! We are putting in so much work
and are waiting for this raise or promotion to come, but it doesn’t come! Ask for
it! What’s the worst thing that could happen? You already don’t have it. You
already haven’t gotten the raise or the promotion! If you don’t ask it will surely
stay like this. If you ask you will at least get an answer and know where you are
at.
When you ask keep the following things in mind:
1) Ask with the
expectation to receive.
2) Know that you can receive it.
3) Remember to keep your thoughts, feelings, and inner dialogue positive.
4) Ask the person who is in charge.
5) Be specific.
6) Ask repeatedly like you did when you were a kid.
Action Steps:
1) Write a list of all of the things that you want and don’t ask for.
2) Start asking. Work on it.
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