156 Improve your Communication Skills
Editing words
English has a huge vocabulary. One of the main reasons is that
the
language is a hybrid; many ideas can be expressed with two or
three words. Maybe for this reason more than any other, plain
English has grown up as a way of helping us to choose the best
words for our needs.
Editing a long sentence
It was originally planned
that data conversion and
implementation across the remaining business areas would
follow at the end of September 2008, but following a variety of
problems, considerable scope drift, changes of personnel on the
project team and several amendments to the timetable,
conversion did not take place until 1 April 2009
and some users
were still using parts of the old system until it was finally
disconnected in July 2009.
This is easily improved by cutting the sentence at the
conjunctions – but, and – and using a vertical list:
The project team originally planned to convert data and
implement the system in remaining business areas at the end
of September 2008. However,
conversion was delayed by
changes in:
• the scope of the project;
• personnel on the project team;
• the timetable.
The system was finally converted on 1 April 2009. Some users
continued to use parts of the old system until it was
disconnected in July 2009.
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