27 How Conversations Work
• referent power
: the ‘charisma’ that causes others to
imitate or idolise;
• expert power
: deriving from specific levels of knowledge
or skill.
Referent power is especially effective. Conversations can become
paralysed as one of us becomes overcome by the charisma of the
other.
Conversations often fail because they become power
struggles. People may seek to exercise
different kinds of power at
different points in a conversation. If you have little reward power
over the other person, for example,
you may try to influence
them as an expert. If you lack charisma or respect with the other
person, you may try to exert authority by appealing to legitimate
or to coercive power.
Role
A role is a set of behaviours that people expect of us. A formal role
may be explicitly defined in a job description;
an informal role is
conferred on us as a result of people’s experience of our
conversations.
Conversations may fail because our roles are unclear, or in
conflict. We tend to converse with each other in role. If the other
person knows that your
formal role is an accountant, for
Convening power: an emergent force
People are beginning to talk about a new form of power.
Convening power is defined by the Foreign and
Commonwealth Office as ‘the ability to bring the right
people together’. It’s the power of ‘connectors’, who are
often at the heart of effective networking. For more, look at
Chapter 9.
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