The Importance of Being Earnest

Jack.
No. He died abroad; in Paris, in fact. I had a telegram last night from 
the manager of the Grand Hotel. 
Chasuble.
Was the cause of death mentioned? 
Jack.
A severe chill, it seems. 
Miss Prism.
As a man sows, so shall he reap. 
Chasuble.
[Raising his hand.] Charity, dear Miss Prism, charity! None of us 
are perfect. I myself am peculiarly susceptible to draughts. Will the 
interment take place here? 
Jack.
No. He seems to have expressed a desire to be buried in Paris. 
Chasuble.
In Paris! [Shakes his head.] I fear that hardly points to any very 
serious state of mind at the last. You would no doubt wish me to make 
some slight allusion to this tragic domestic affliction next 
Sunday. [
Jack
presses his hand convulsively.] My sermon on the meaning of 
the manna in the wilderness can be adapted to almost any occasion, joyful, 
or, as in the present case, distressing. [All sigh.] I have preached it at 
harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation and 
festal days. The last time I delivered it was in the Cathedral, as a charity 
sermon on behalf of the Society for the Prevention of Discontent among the 
Upper Orders. The Bishop, who was present, was much struck by some of 
the analogies I drew. 
Jack.
Ah! that reminds me, you mentioned christenings I think, Dr. 
Chasuble? I suppose you know how to christen all right? [
Dr. Chasuble
looks 
astounded.] I mean, of course, you are continually christening, aren’t you? 
35

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Miss Prism.
It is, I regret to say, one of the Rector’s most constant duties in 
this parish. I have often spoken to the poorer classes on the subject. But 
they don’t seem to know what thrift is.