Games People Play

Antithesis
. To extend ordinary courtesy to oneself and one's partner; dial is, to refrain from verbal 
or physical flagellation and confine oneself to more conventional forms of coitus. If White is a true 
pervert, this will lay bare the second element of the game, which is often clearly expressed in his 
dreams: that coitus itself has little interest For him, and that his real satisfaction is derived from the 
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humiliating foreplay. This is something that he may not have cared to admit to himself. But it will 
now become clear to him that his complaint is: "After all this work, I have to have intercourse, 
yet!" At this point the position is much more favorable for specific psychotherapy, and much of the 
pleading and evasiveness has been nullified. This applies to ordinary "sexual psychopaths" as seen 
in practice, and not to malignant schizophrenic or criminal perversions, nor to those who confine 
their sexual activities to fantasy. 
The game of "Homosexuality" has become elaborated into a subculture in many countries, just as it 
is ritualized in others. Many of the disabilities which result from homosexuality arise from making 
it into a game. The provocative behavior which gives rise to "Cops and Robbers," "Why Does This 
Always Happen to Us," "It's the Society We Live In," "AH Great Men Were" and so forth, is often 
amenable to social control, which reduces the handicaps to a minimum. The "professional 
homosexual" wastes a large amount of time and energy which could be applied to other ends. 
Analysis of his games may help him establish a quiet manage which will leave him free to enjoy 
the benefits that bourgeois society offers, instead of devoting himself to playing his own variation 
of "Ain't It Awful!" 
3 RAPO 
Thesis
. This is a game played between a man and a woman which might more politely be called, in 
the milder forms at least, "Kiss Off" or "Indignation." It may be played with varying degrees of 
intensity. 
1. First-Degree "Rapo," or "Kiss Off," is popular at social gatherings and consists essentially of 
mild flirtation. White signals that she is available and gets her pleasure from the man's pursuit. As 
soon as he has committed himself, the game is over. If she is polite, she may say quite frankly "I 
appreciate your compliments and thank you very much," and move on to the next conquest. If she 
is less generous, she may simply leave him. A skillful player can make this game last for a long 
time at a large social gathering by moving around frequently, so that the man has to carry out 
complicated maneuvers in order to follow her without being too obvious. 
2. In Second-Degree "Rapo," or "Indignation," White gets only secondary satisfaction from Black's 
advances. Her primary gratification comes from rejecting him, so that this game is also colloquially 
known as "Buzz Off, Buster." She leads Black into a much more serious commitment than the mild 
flirtation of First-Degree "Rapo" and enjoys watching his discomfiture when she repulses him. 
Black, of course, is not as helpless as he seems, and may have gone to considerable trouble to get 
himself involved. Usually he is playing some variation of "Kick Me." 
3. Third-Degree "Rapo" is a vicious game which ends in murder, suicide or the courtroom. Here 
White leads Black into compromising physical contact and then claims that he has made a criminal 
assault or has done her irreparable damage. In its most cynical form White may actually allow him 
to complete the sexual act so that she gets that enjoyment before confronting him. The 
confrontation may be immediate, as in the illegitimate cry of rape, or it may be long delayed, as in 
suicide or homicide following a prolonged love affair. If she chooses to play it as a criminal assault, 
she may have no difficulty in finding mercenary or morbidly interested allies, such as the press, the 
police, counselors and relatives. Sometimes, however, these outsiders may cynically turn on her, so 
that she loses the initiative and becomes a tool in their games. 
In some cases outsiders perform a different function. 
They force the game on an unwilling White because they want to play "Let's You and Him Fight." 
They put her in such a position that in order to save her face or her reputation she has to cry rape. 
This is particularly apt to happen with girls under the legal age of consent; they may be quite 
willing to continue a liaison, but because it is discovered or made an issue of, they feel constrained 
to turn the romance into a game of Third-Degree "Rapo." 
In one well-known situation, the wary Joseph refused to be inveigled into a game of "Rapo," 
whereupon Potiphar's wife made the classical switch into "Let's You and Him Fight," an excellent 
example of the way a hard player reacts to antithesis, and of the dangers that beset people who 
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refuse to play games, These two games are combined in the well-known "Badger Game," in which 
the woman seduces Black and then cries rape, at which point her husband takes charge and abuses 
Black for purposes of blackmail. 
One of the most unfortunate and acute forms of Third-Degree "Rapo" occurs relatively frequently 
between homosexual strangers, who in a matter of an hour or so may bring the game to a point of 
homicide. The cynical and criminal variations of this game contribute a large volume to sensational 
newspaper copy. 
The childhood prototype of "Rapo" is the same as that of "Frigid Woman," in which the little girl 
induces the boy to humiliate himself or get dirty and then sneers at him, as classically described by 
Maugham in Of Hitman Bondage and, as already noted, by Dickens in Great Expectations. This is 
Second Degree. A harder form, approaching Third Degree, may be played in tough neighborhoods.