Games People Play

Antithesis
. The man's ability to avoid becoming involved in this game or to keep it under control 
depends on his capacity to distinguish genuine expressions of feeling from moves in the game. If he 
is thus able to exert social control, he may obtain a great deal of pleasure from the mild flirtations 
of "Kiss Off." On the other hand it is difficult to conceive of a safe antithesis for the Potiphar's 
Wife maneuver, other than checking out before closing time with no forwarding address. In 1938 
the writer met an aging Joseph in Aleppo who had checked out of Constantinople thirty-two years 
previously, after one of the Sultan's ladies had cornered him during a business visit to the Yildiz 
harem. He had to abandon his shop, but took time to pick up his hoard of gold francs, and had 
never returned. 
Relatives
. The male versions of "Rapo" are notoriously found in commercial situations: "Casting 
Couch" (and then she didn't get the part) and "Cuddle Up" (and then she got fired). 
ANALYSIS 
The following analysis refers to Third-Degree "Rapo" because there the elements of the game are 
more dramatically illustrated. 
Aim
: Malicious revenge. Roles: Seductress, Wolf. 
Dynamics
(Third Degree): Penis envy, oral violence. "Kiss Off" is phallic, while "Indignation" has 
strong anal elements. 
Examples
: (1) I'll tell on you, you dirty little boy. (2) Wronged woman. 
Social Paradigm
: Adult-Adult. 
Adult (male): "I'm sorry if I went further than you intended me to." 
Adult (female) "You have violated me and must pay the full penalty." 
Psychological Paradigm: Child-Child. 
Child (male): "See how irresistible I am." Child (female): "Now I've got you, you son of a bitch." 
Moves: (1) Female: seduction; Male: counter-seduction. (2) Female: surrender; Male: victory. (3) 
Female: confrontation; Male: collapse. 
Advantages
: (1) Internal Psychological—expression of 
hatred and projection of guilt. (2) External Psychological-avoidance of emotional sexual intimacy. 
(3) Internal Social -"Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch." (4) External Social-"Ain't It Awful," 
"Courtroom," "Let's You and Him Fight." (5) Biological—sexual and belligerent exchanges. (6) 
Existential-I am blameless.