up a game. Her announcement was not. It was an Adult decision,
a project, not a resolution. The
patient continued to be punctual.
"I'll try to cooperate." This was not a "supportive" statement, nor the first move in a new game of
"I'm Only Trying to Help You." The patient's hour came after the therapist's coffee break. Since she
was habitually late, he had fallen into the habit of taking his time and getting back late himself.
When she made her declaration, he knew she meant it, and made his. The
transaction was an Adult
contract which both of them kept, and not a Child teasing a Parental figure who because of his
position felt forced to be a "good daddy" and say he would cooperate.
"I don't care about you." This emphasizes that her punctuality is a decision, and not a resolution to
be exploited as part of a pseudo-compliant game.
"Guess what grade I got." This is a pastime which both were aware of and felt free to indulge in.
There was no need for him to demonstrate how alert he was by telling her it was a pastime,
something she already knew, and there was no need for her to refrain from
playing it just because it
was called a pastime.
"B+." The therapist reckoned that in her case this was the only possible grade, and there was no
reason not to say so. False modesty or a fear of being wrong might have led him to pretend that he
did not know.
"How did you know?" This was an Adult question, not a game of "Gee You're Wonderful," and it
deserved a pertinent answer.
"Yes, I had an A." This was the real test. The patient did not sulk with rationalizations or pleas, but
faced her Child squarely.
"I like this conversation." This and the following semi-facetious
remarks were expressions of
mutual Adult respect, with perhaps a little Parent-Child pastime, which again was optional with
both of them, and of which they were both aware.
"For the first time I really saw it." She is now entitled to her own kind of awareness and is no
longer obliged to see coffeepots and people the way her parents told her to. "Right now I'm here."
She no longer lives in the future or the past, but can discuss them briefly if it serves a useful
purpose.
"I said: 'I like you too.'" She is not obliged-to waste time playing "Art Gallery" with the newcomer,
although she could if she chose to.
The
therapist, on his part, does not feel obliged to play "Psychiatry." There were several
opportunities to bring up questions of defense, transference and symbolic interpretation, but he was
able to let these go by without feeling any anxiety. It did seem worthwhile, however, to ascertain
for future reference which answers she crossed out on her examination.
During the rest of the hour,
unfortunately, the 17% of Jerk left in the patient and the 18% left in the therapist showed from time
to time. In summary, the proceedings given constitute an activity enlightened with some pastime.
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