First Reader and the stock-market quotations from The Mobile Register aloud,
she discovered that I was literate and looked at me with more than faint distaste.
Miss Caroline told me to tell my father not to teach me any more, it would
interfere with my reading.
“Teach me?” I said in surprise. “He hasn’t taught me anything, Miss Caroline.
Atticus ain’t got time to teach me anything,” I added, when Miss Caroline
smiled and shook her head. “Why, he’s so tired at night he just sits in the
livingroom and reads.”
“If he didn’t teach you, who did?” Miss Caroline asked good-naturedly.
“Somebody did. You weren’t born reading The Mobile Register.”
“Jem says I was. He read in a book where I was a Bullfinch instead of a Finch.
Jem says my name’s really Jean Louise Bullfinch, that I got swapped when I was
born and I’m really a—”
Miss Caroline apparently thought I was lying. “Let’s not let our imaginations
run away with us, dear,” she said. “Now you tell your father not to teach you any
more. It’s best to begin reading with a fresh mind. You tell him I’ll take over
from here and try to undo the damage.”
“Ma’am?”
“Your father does not know how to teach. You can have a seat now.”
I mumbled that I was sorry and retired meditating upon my crime. I never
deliberately learned to read, but somehow I had been wallowing illicitly in the
daily papers. In the long hours of church—was it then I learned? I could not
remember not being able to read hymns. Now that I was compelled to think
about it, reading was something that just came to me, as learning to fasten the
seat of my union suit without looking around, or achieving two bows from a
snarl of shoelaces. I could not remember when the lines above Atticus’s moving
finger separated into words, but I had stared at them all the evenings in my
memory, listening to the news of the day, Bills to Be Enacted into Laws, the
diaries of Lorenzo Dow—anything Atticus happened to be reading when I
crawled into his lap every night. Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to
read. One does not love breathing.
I knew I had annoyed Miss Caroline, so I let well enough alone and stared out
the window until recess when Jem cut me from the covey of first-graders in the
schoolyard. He asked how I was getting along. I told him.
“If I didn’t have to stay I’d leave. Jem, that damn lady says Atticus’s been
teaching me to read and for him to stop it.”
“Don’t worry, Scout,” Jem comforted me. “Our teacher says Miss Caroline’s
introducing a new way of teaching. She learned about it in college. It’ll be in all
the grades soon. You don’t have to learn much out of books that way—it’s like if
you wanta learn about cows, you go milk one, see?”
“Yeah Jem, but I don’t wanta study cows, I—”
“Sure you do. You hafta know about cows, they’re a big part of life in
Maycomb County.”
I contented myself with asking Jem if he’d lost his mind.
“I’m just trying to tell you the new way they’re teachin‘ the first grade,
stubborn. It’s the Dewey Decimal System.”
Having never questioned Jem’s pronouncements, I saw no reason to begin
now. The Dewey Decimal System consisted, in part, of Miss Caroline waving
cards at us on which were printed “the,” “cat,” “rat,” “man,” and “you.” No
comment seemed to be expected of us, and the class received these
impressionistic revelations in silence. I was bored, so I began a letter to Dill.
Miss Caroline caught me writing and told me to tell my father to stop teaching
me. “Besides,” she said. “We don’t write in the first grade, we print. You won’t
learn to write until you’re in the third grade.”
Calpurnia was to blame for this. It kept me from driving her crazy on rainy
days, I guess. She would set me a writing task by scrawling the alphabet firmly
across the top of a tablet, then copying out a chapter of the Bible beneath. If I
reproduced her penmanship satisfactorily, she rewarded me with an open-faced
sandwich of bread and butter and sugar. In Calpurnia’s teaching, there was no
sentimentality: I seldom pleased her and she seldom rewarded me.
“Everybody who goes home to lunch hold up your hands,” said Miss Caroline,
breaking into my new grudge against Calpurnia.
The town children did so, and she looked us over.
“Everybody who brings his lunch put it on top of his desk.”
Molasses buckets appeared from nowhere, and the ceiling danced with
metallic light. Miss Caroline walked up and down the rows peering and poking
into lunch containers, nodding if the contents pleased her, frowning a little at
others. She stopped at Walter Cunningham’s desk. “Where’s yours?” she asked.
Walter Cunningham’s face told everybody in the first grade he had
hookworms. His absence of shoes told us how he got them. People caught
hookworms going barefooted in barnyards and hog wallows. If Walter had
owned any shoes he would have worn them the first day of school and then
discarded them until mid-winter. He did have on a clean shirt and neatly mended
overalls.
“Did you forget your lunch this morning?” asked Miss Caroline.
Walter looked straight ahead. I saw a muscle jump in his skinny jaw.
“Did you forget it this morning?” asked Miss Caroline. Walter’s jaw twitched
again.
“Yeb’m,” he finally mumbled.
Miss Caroline went to her desk and opened her purse. “Here’s a quarter,” she
said to Walter. “Go and eat downtown today. You can pay me back tomorrow.”
Walter shook his head. “Nome thank you ma’am,” he drawled softly.
Impatience crept into Miss Caroline’s voice: “Here Walter, come get it.”
Walter shook his head again.
When Walter shook his head a third time someone whispered, “Go on and tell
her, Scout.”
I turned around and saw most of the town people and the entire bus delegation
looking at me. Miss Caroline and I had conferred twice already, and they were
looking at me in the innocent assurance that familiarity breeds understanding.
I rose graciously on Walter’s behalf: “Ah—Miss Caroline?”
“What is it, Jean Louise?”
“Miss Caroline, he’s a Cunningham.”
I sat back down.
“What, Jean Louise?”
I thought I had made things sufficiently clear. It was clear enough to the rest
of us: Walter Cunningham was sitting there lying his head off. He didn’t forget
his lunch, he didn’t have any. He had none today nor would he have any
tomorrow or the next day. He had probably never seen three quarters together at
the same time in his life.
I tried again: “Walter’s one of the Cunninghams, Miss Caroline.”
“I beg your pardon, Jean Louise?”
“That’s okay, ma’am, you’ll get to know all the county folks after a while.
The Cunninghams never took anything they can’t pay back—no church baskets
and no scrip stamps. They never took anything off of anybody, they get along on
what they have. They don’t have much, but they get along on it.”
My special knowledge of the Cunningham tribe—one branch, that is—was
gained from events of last winter. Walter’s father was one of Atticus’s clients.
After a dreary conversation in our livingroom one night about his entailment,
before Mr. Cunningham left he said, “Mr. Finch, I don’t know when I’ll ever be
able to pay you.”
“Let that be the least of your worries, Walter,” Atticus said.
When I asked Jem what entailment was, and Jem described it as a condition of
having your tail in a crack, I asked Atticus if Mr. Cunningham would ever pay
us.
“Not in money,” Atticus said, “but before the year’s out I’ll have been paid.
You watch.”
We watched. One morning Jem and I found a load of stovewood in the back
yard. Later, a sack of hickory nuts appeared on the back steps. With Christmas
came a crate of smilax and holly. That spring when we found a crokersack full of
turnip greens, Atticus said Mr. Cunningham had more than paid him.
“Why does he pay you like that?” I asked.
“Because that’s the only way he can pay me. He has no money.”
“Are we poor, Atticus?”
Atticus nodded. “We are indeed.”
Jem’s nose wrinkled. “Are we as poor as the Cunninghams?”
“Not exactly. The Cunninghams are country folks, farmers, and the crash hit
them hardest.”
Atticus said professional people were poor because the farmers were poor. As
Maycomb County was farm country, nickels and dimes were hard to come by for
doctors and dentists and lawyers. Entailment was only a part of Mr.
Cunningham’s vexations. The acres not entailed were mortgaged to the hilt, and
the little cash he made went to interest. If he held his mouth right, Mr.
Cunningham could get a WPA job, but his land would go to ruin if he left it, and
he was willing to go hungry to keep his land and vote as he pleased. Mr.
Cunningham, said Atticus, came from a set breed of men.
As the Cunninghams had no money to pay a lawyer, they simply paid us with
what they had. “Did you know,” said Atticus, “that Dr. Reynolds works the same
way? He charges some folks a bushel of potatoes for delivery of a baby. Miss
Scout, if you give me your attention I’ll tell you what entailment is. Jem’s
definitions are very nearly accurate sometimes.”
If I could have explained these things to Miss Caroline, I would have saved
myself some inconvenience and Miss Caroline subsequent mortification, but it
was beyond my ability to explain things as well as Atticus, so I said, “You’re
shamin‘ him, Miss Caroline. Walter hasn’t got a quarter at home to bring you,
and you can’t use any stovewood.”
Miss Caroline stood stock still, then grabbed me by the collar and hauled me
back to her desk. “Jean Louise, I’ve had about enough of you this morning,” she
said. “You’re starting off on the wrong foot in every way, my dear. Hold out
your hand.”
I thought she was going to spit in it, which was the only reason anybody in
Maycomb held out his hand: it was a time-honored method of sealing oral
contracts. Wondering what bargain we had made, I turned to the class for an
answer, but the class looked back at me in puzzlement. Miss Caroline picked up
her ruler, gave me half a dozen quick little pats, then told me to stand in the
corner. A storm of laughter broke loose when it finally occurred to the class that
Miss Caroline had whipped me.
When Miss Caroline threatened it with a similar fate the first grade exploded
again, becoming cold sober only when the shadow of Miss Blount fell over
them. Miss Blount, a native Maycombian as yet uninitiated in the mysteries of
the Decimal System, appeared at the door hands on hips and announced: “If I
hear another sound from this room I’ll burn up everybody in it. Miss Caroline,
the sixth grade cannot concentrate on the pyramids for all this racket!”
My sojourn in the corner was a short one. Saved by the bell, Miss Caroline
watched the class file out for lunch. As I was the last to leave, I saw her sink
down into her chair and bury her head in her arms. Had her conduct been more
friendly toward me, I would have felt sorry for her. She was a pretty little thing.
3
C
atching Walter Cunningham in the schoolyard gave me some pleasure, but
when I was rubbing his nose in the dirt Jem came by and told me to stop.
“You’re bigger’n he is,” he said.
“He’s as old as you, nearly,” I said. “He made me start off on the wrong foot.”
“Let him go, Scout. Why?”
“He didn’t have any lunch,” I said, and explained my involvement in Walter’s
dietary affairs.
Walter had picked himself up and was standing quietly listening to Jem and
me. His fists were half cocked, as if expecting an onslaught from both of us. I
stomped at him to chase him away, but Jem put out his hand and stopped me. He
examined Walter with an air of speculation. “Your daddy Mr. Walter
Cunningham from Old Sarum?” he asked, and Walter nodded.
Walter looked as if he had been raised on fish food: his eyes, as blue as Dill
Harris’s, were red-rimmed and watery. There was no color in his face except at
the tip of his nose, which was moistly pink. He fingered the straps of his
overalls, nervously picking at the metal hooks.
Jem suddenly grinned at him. “Come on home to dinner with us, Walter,” he
said. “We’d be glad to have you.”
Walter’s face brightened, then darkened.
Jem said, “Our daddy’s a friend of your daddy’s. Scout here, she’s crazy—she
won’t fight you any more.”
“I wouldn’t be too certain of that,” I said. Jem’s free dispensation of my
pledge irked me, but precious noontime minutes were ticking away. “Yeah
Walter, I won’t jump on you again. Don’t you like butterbeans? Our Cal’s a real
good cook.”
Walter stood where he was, biting his lip. Jem and I gave up, and we were
nearly to the Radley Place when Walter called, “Hey, I’m comin‘!”
When Walter caught up with us, Jem made pleasant conversation with him.
“A hain’t lives there,” he said cordially, pointing to the Radley house. “Ever hear
about him, Walter?”
“Reckon I have,” said Walter. “Almost died first year I come to school and et
them pecans—folks say he pizened ‘em and put ’em over on the school side of
the fence.”
Jem seemed to have little fear of Boo Radley now that Walter and I walked
beside him. Indeed, Jem grew boastful: “I went all the way up to the house
once,” he said to Walter.
“Anybody who went up to the house once oughta not to still run every time he
passes it,” I said to the clouds above.
“And who’s runnin‘, Miss Priss?”
“You are, when ain’t anybody with you.”
By the time we reached our front steps Walter had forgotten he was a
Cunningham. Jem ran to the kitchen and asked Calpurnia to set an extra plate,
we had company. Atticus greeted Walter and began a discussion about crops
neither Jem nor I could follow.
“Reason I can’t pass the first grade, Mr. Finch, is I’ve had to stay out ever‘
spring an’ help Papa with the choppin‘, but there’s another’n at the house now
that’s field size.”
“Did you pay a bushel of potatoes for him?” I asked, but Atticus shook his
head at me.
While Walter piled food on his plate, he and Atticus talked together like two
men, to the wonderment of Jem and me. Atticus was expounding upon farm
problems when Walter interrupted to ask if there was any molasses in the house.
Atticus summoned Calpurnia, who returned bearing the syrup pitcher. She stood
waiting for Walter to help himself. Walter poured syrup on his vegetables and
meat with a generous hand. He would probably have poured it into his milk glass
had I not asked what the sam hill he was doing.
The silver saucer clattered when he replaced the pitcher, and he quickly put
his hands in his lap. Then he ducked his head.
Atticus shook his head at me again. “But he’s gone and drowned his dinner in
syrup,” I protested. “He’s poured it all over—”
It was then that Calpurnia requested my presence in the kitchen.
She was furious, and when she was furious Calpurnia’s grammar became
erratic. When in tranquility, her grammar was as good as anybody’s in
Maycomb. Atticus said Calpurnia had more education than most colored folks.
When she squinted down at me the tiny lines around her eyes deepened.
“There’s some folks who don’t eat like us,” she whispered fiercely, “but you
ain’t called on to contradict ‘em at the table when they don’t. That boy’s yo’
comp’ny and if he wants to eat up the table cloth you let him, you hear?”
“He ain’t company, Cal, he’s just a Cunningham—”
“Hush your mouth! Don’t matter who they are, anybody sets foot in this
house’s yo‘ comp’ny, and don’t you let me catch you remarkin’ on their ways
like you was so high and mighty! Yo‘ folks might be better’n the Cunninghams
but it don’t count for nothin’ the way you’re disgracin‘ ’em—if you can’t act fit
to eat at the table you can just set here and eat in the kitchen!”
Calpurnia sent me through the swinging door to the diningroom with a
stinging smack. I retrieved my plate and finished dinner in the kitchen, thankful,
though, that I was spared the humiliation of facing them again. I told Calpurnia
to just wait, I’d fix her: one of these days when she wasn’t looking I’d go off and
drown myself in Barker’s Eddy and then she’d be sorry. Besides, I added, she’d
already gotten me in trouble once today: she had taught me to write and it was
all her fault. “Hush your fussin‘,” she said.
Jem and Walter returned to school ahead of me: staying behind to advise
Atticus of Calpurnia’s iniquities was worth a solitary sprint past the Radley
Place. “She likes Jem better’n she likes me, anyway,” I concluded, and
suggested that Atticus lose no time in packing her off.
“Have you ever considered that Jem doesn’t worry her half as much?”
Atticus’s voice was flinty. “I’ve no intention of getting rid of her, now or ever.
We couldn’t operate a single day without Cal, have you ever thought of that?
You think about how much Cal does for you, and you mind her, you hear?”
I returned to school and hated Calpurnia steadily until a sudden shriek
shattered my resentments. I looked up to see Miss Caroline standing in the
middle of the room, sheer horror flooding her face. Apparently she had revived
enough to persevere in her profession.
“It’s alive!” she screamed.
The male population of the class rushed as one to her assistance. Lord, I
thought, she’s scared of a mouse. Little Chuck Little, whose patience with all
living things was phenomenal, said, “Which way did he go, Miss Caroline? Tell
us where he went, quick! D.C.,” he turned to a boy behind him—“D.C., shut the
door and we’ll catch him. Quick, ma’am, where’d he go?”
Miss Caroline pointed a shaking finger not at the floor nor at a desk, but to a
hulking individual unknown to me. Little Chuck’s face contracted and he said
gently, “You mean him, ma’am? Yessum, he’s alive. Did he scare you some
way?”
Miss Caroline said desperately, “I was just walking by when it crawled out of
his hair . . . just crawled out of his hair.”
Little Chuck grinned broadly. “There ain’t no need to fear a cootie, ma’am.
Ain’t you ever seen one? Now don’t you be afraid, you just go back to your desk
and teach us some more.”
Little Chuck Little was another member of the population who didn’t know
where his next meal was coming from, but he was a born gentleman. He put his
hand under her elbow and led Miss Caroline to the front of the room. “Now
don’t you fret, ma’am,” he said. “There ain’t no need to fear a cootie. I’ll just
fetch you some cool water.” The cootie’s host showed not the faintest interest in
the furor he had wrought. He searched the scalp above his forehead, located his
guest and pinched it between his thumb and forefinger.
Miss Caroline watched the process in horrid fascination. Little Chuck brought
water in a paper cup, and she drank it gratefully. Finally she found her voice.
“What is your name, son?” she asked softly.
The boy blinked. “Who, me?” Miss Caroline nodded.
“Burris Ewell.”
Miss Caroline inspected her roll-book. “I have a Ewell here, but I don’t have a
first name . . . would you spell your first name for me?”
“Don’t know how. They call me Burris’t home.”
“Well, Burris,” said Miss Caroline, “I think we’d better excuse you for the rest
of the afternoon. I want you to go home and wash your hair.”
From her desk she produced a thick volume, leafed through its pages and read
for a moment. “A good home remedy for—Burris, I want you to go home and
wash your hair with lye soap. When you’ve done that, treat your scalp with
kerosene.”
“What fer, missus?”
“To get rid of the—er, cooties. You see, Burris, the other children might catch
them, and you wouldn’t want that, would you?”
The boy stood up. He was the filthiest human I had ever seen. His neck was
dark gray, the backs of his hands were rusty, and his fingernails were black deep
into the quick. He peered at Miss Caroline from a fist-sized clean space on his
face. No one had noticed him, probably, because Miss Caroline and I had
entertained the class most of the morning.
“And Burris,” said Miss Caroline, “please bathe yourself before you come
back tomorrow.”
The boy laughed rudely. “You ain’t sendin‘ me home, missus. I was on the
verge of leavin’—I done done my time for this year.”
Miss Caroline looked puzzled. “What do you mean by that?”
The boy did not answer. He gave a short contemptuous snort.
One of the elderly members of the class answered her: “He’s one of the
Ewells, ma’am,” and I wondered if this explanation would be as unsuccessful as
my attempt. But Miss Caroline seemed willing to listen. “Whole school’s full of
‘em. They come first day every year and then leave. The truant lady gets ’em
here ‘cause she threatens ’em with the sheriff, but she’s give up tryin‘ to hold
’em. She reckons she’s carried out the law just gettin‘ their names on the roll and
runnin’ ‘em here the first day. You’re supposed to mark ’em absent the rest of
the year . . .”
“But what about their parents?” asked Miss Caroline, in genuine concern.
“Ain’t got no mother,” was the answer, “and their paw’s right contentious.”
Burris Ewell was flattered by the recital. “Been comin‘ to the first day o’ the
first grade fer three year now,” he said expansively. “Reckon if I’m smart this
year they’ll promote me to the second . . .”
Miss Caroline said, “Sit back down, please, Burris,” and the moment she said
it I knew she had made a serious mistake. The boy’s condescension flashed to
anger.
“You try and make me, missus.”
Little Chuck Little got to his feet. “Let him go, ma’am,” he said. “He’s a mean
one, a hard-down mean one. He’s liable to start somethin‘, and there’s some
little folks here.”
He was among the most diminutive of men, but when Burris Ewell turned
toward him, Little Chuck’s right hand went to his pocket. “Watch your step,
Burris,” he said. “I’d soon’s kill you as look at you. Now go home.”
Burris seemed to be afraid of a child half his height, and Miss Caroline took
advantage of his indecision: “Burris, go home. If you don’t I’ll call the
principal,” she said. “I’ll have to report this, anyway.”
The boy snorted and slouched leisurely to the door.
Safely out of range, he turned and shouted: “Report and be damned to ye!
Ain’t no snot-nosed slut of a schoolteacher ever born c’n make me do nothin‘!
You ain’t makin’ me go nowhere, missus. You just remember that, you ain’t
makin‘ me go nowhere!”
He waited until he was sure she was crying, then he shuffled out of the
building.
Soon we were clustered around her desk, trying in our various ways to
comfort her. He was a real mean one . . . below the belt . . . you ain’t called on to
teach folks like that . . . them ain’t Maycomb’s ways, Miss Caroline, not really . .
. now don’t you fret, ma’am. Miss Caroline, why don’t you read us a story? That
cat thing was real fine this mornin‘ . . .
Miss Caroline smiled, blew her nose, said, “Thank you, darlings,” dispersed
us, opened a book and mystified the first grade with a long narrative about a
toadfrog that lived in a hall.
When I passed the Radley Place for the fourth time that day—twice at a full
gallop—my gloom had deepened to match the house. If the remainder of the
school year were as fraught with drama as the first day, perhaps it would be
mildly entertaining, but the prospect of spending nine months refraining from
reading and writing made me think of running away.
By late afternoon most of my traveling plans were complete; when Jem and I
raced each other up the sidewalk to meet Atticus coming home from work, I
didn’t give him much of a race. It was our habit to run meet Atticus the moment
we saw him round the post office corner in the distance. Atticus seemed to have
forgotten my noontime fall from grace; he was full of questions about school.
My replies were monosyllabic and he did not press me.
Perhaps Calpurnia sensed that my day had been a grim one: she let me watch
her fix supper. “Shut your eyes and open your mouth and I’ll give you a
surprise,” she said.
It was not often that she made crackling bread, she said she never had time,
but with both of us at school today had been an easy one for her. She knew I
loved crackling bread.
“I missed you today,” she said. “The house got so lonesome ‘long about two
o’clock I had to turn on the radio.”
“Why? Jem’n me ain’t ever in the house unless it’s rainin‘.”
“I know,” she said, “But one of you’s always in callin‘ distance. I wonder how
much of the day I spend just callin’ after you. Well,” she said, getting up from
the kitchen chair, “it’s enough time to make a pan of cracklin‘ bread, I reckon.
You run along now and let me get supper on the table.”
Calpurnia bent down and kissed me. I ran along, wondering what had come
over her. She had wanted to make up with me, that was it. She had always been
too hard on me, she had at last seen the error of her fractious ways, she was sorry
and too stubborn to say so. I was weary from the day’s crimes.
After supper, Atticus sat down with the paper and called, “Scout, ready to
read?” The Lord sent me more than I could bear, and I went to the front porch.
Atticus followed me.
“Something wrong, Scout?”
I told Atticus I didn’t feel very well and didn’t think I’d go to school any more
if it was all right with him.
Atticus sat down in the swing and crossed his legs. His fingers wandered to
his watchpocket; he said that was the only way he could think. He waited in
amiable silence, and I sought to reinforce my position: “You never went to
school and you do all right, so I’ll just stay home too. You can teach me like
Granddaddy taught you ‘n’ Uncle Jack.”
“No I can’t,” said Atticus. “I have to make a living. Besides, they’d put me in
jail if I kept you at home—dose of magnesia for you tonight and school
tomorrow.”
“I’m feeling all right, really.”
“Thought so. Now what’s the matter?”
Bit by bit, I told him the day’s misfortunes. “—and she said you taught me all
wrong, so we can’t ever read any more, ever. Please don’t send me back, please
sir.”
Atticus stood up and walked to the end of the porch. When he completed his
examination of the wisteria vine he strolled back to me.
“First of all,” he said, “if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along
a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until
you consider things from his point of view—”
“Sir?”
“—until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
Atticus said I had learned many things today, and Miss Caroline had learned
several things herself. She had learned not to hand something to a Cunningham,
for one thing, but if Walter and I had put ourselves in her shoes we’d have seen
it was an honest mistake on her part. We could not expect her to learn all
Maycomb’s ways in one day, and we could not hold her responsible when she
knew no better.
“I’ll be dogged,” I said. “I didn’t know no better than not to read to her, and
she held me responsible—listen Atticus, I don’t have to go to school!” I was
bursting with a sudden thought. “Burris Ewell, remember? He just goes to school
the first day. The truant lady reckons she’s carried out the law when she gets his
name on the roll.”
“You can’t do that, Scout,” Atticus said. “Sometimes it’s better to bend the
law a little in special cases. In your case, the law remains rigid. So to school you
must go.”
“I don’t see why I have to when he doesn’t.”
“Then listen.”
Atticus said the Ewells had been the disgrace of Maycomb for three
generations. None of them had done an honest day’s work in his recollection. He
said that some Christmas, when he was getting rid of the tree, he would take me
with him and show me where and how they lived. They were people, but they
lived like animals. “They can go to school any time they want to, when they
show the faintest symptom of wanting an education,” said Atticus. “There are
ways of keeping them in school by force, but it’s silly to force people like the
Ewells into a new environment.”
“If I didn’t go to school tomorrow, you’d force me to.”
“Let us leave it at this,” said Atticus dryly. “You, Miss Scout Finch, are of the
common folk. You must obey the law.” He said that the Ewells were members of
an exclusive society made up of Ewells. In certain circumstances the common
folk judiciously allowed them certain privileges by the simple method of
becoming blind to some of the Ewells’ activities. They didn’t have to go to
school, for one thing. Another thing, Mr. Bob Ewell, Burris’s father, was
permitted to hunt and trap out of season.
“Atticus, that’s bad,” I said. In Maycomb County, hunting out of season was a
misdemeanor at law, a capital felony in the eyes of the populace.
“It’s against the law, all right,” said my father, “and it’s certainly bad, but
when a man spends his relief checks on green whiskey his children have a way
of crying from hunger pains. I don’t know of any landowner around here who
begrudges those children any game their father can hit.”
“Mr. Ewell shouldn’t do that—”
“Of course he shouldn’t, but he’ll never change his ways. Are you going to
take out your disapproval on his children?”
“No sir,” I murmured, and made a final stand: “But if I keep on goin‘ to
school, we can’t ever read any more . . .”
“That’s really bothering you, isn’t it?”
“Yes sir.”
When Atticus looked down at me I saw the expression on his face that always
made me expect something. “Do you know what a compromise is?” he asked.
“Bending the law?”
“No, an agreement reached by mutual concessions. It works this way,” he
said. “If you’ll concede the necessity of going to school, we’ll go on reading
every night just as we always have. Is it a bargain?”
“Yes sir!”
“We’ll consider it sealed without the usual formality,” Atticus said, when he
saw me preparing to spit.
As I opened the front screen door Atticus said, “By the way, Scout, you’d
better not say anything at school about our agreement.”
“Why not?”
“I’m afraid our activities would be received with considerable disapprobation
by the more learned authorities.”
Jem and I were accustomed to our father’s last-will-and-testament diction, and
we were at all times free to interrupt Atticus for a translation when it was beyond
our understanding.
“Huh, sir?”
“I never went to school,” he said, “but I have a feeling that if you tell Miss
Caroline we read every night she’ll get after me, and I wouldn’t want her after
me.”
Atticus kept us in fits that evening, gravely reading columns of print about a
man who sat on a flagpole for no discernible reason, which was reason enough
for Jem to spend the following Saturday aloft in the treehouse. Jem sat from after
breakfast until sunset and would have remained overnight had not Atticus
severed his supply lines. I had spent most of the day climbing up and down,
running errands for him, providing him with literature, nourishment and water,
and was carrying him blankets for the night when Atticus said if I paid no
attention to him, Jem would come down. Atticus was right.
4
T
he remainder of my schooldays were no more auspicious than the first.
Indeed, they were an endless Project that slowly evolved into a Unit, in which
miles of construction paper and wax crayon were expended by the State of
Alabama in its well-meaning but fruitless efforts to teach me Group Dynamics.
What Jem called the Dewey Decimal System was school-wide by the end of my
first year, so I had no chance to compare it with other teaching techniques. I
could only look around me: Atticus and my uncle, who went to school at home,
knew everything—at least, what one didn’t know the other did. Furthermore, I
couldn’t help noticing that my father had served for years in the state legislature,
elected each time without opposition, innocent of the adjustments my teachers
thought essential to the development of Good Citizenship. Jem, educated on a
half-Decimal half-Duncecap basis, seemed to function effectively alone or in a
group, but Jem was a poor example: no tutorial system devised by man could
have stopped him from getting at books. As for me, I knew nothing except what
I gathered from Time magazine and reading everything I could lay hands on at
home, but as I inched sluggishly along the treadmill of the Maycomb County
school system, I could not help receiving the impression that I was being cheated
out of something. Out of what I knew not, yet I did not believe that twelve years
of unrelieved boredom was exactly what the state had in mind for me.
As the year passed, released from school thirty minutes before Jem, who had
to stay until three o’clock, I ran by the Radley Place as fast as I could, not
stopping until I reached the safety of our front porch. One afternoon as I raced
by, something caught my eye and caught it in such a way that I took a deep
breath, a long look around, and went back.
Two live oaks stood at the edge of the Radley lot; their roots reached out into
the side-road and made it bumpy. Something about one of the trees attracted my
attention.
Some tinfoil was sticking in a knot-hole just above my eye level, winking at
me in the afternoon sun. I stood on tiptoe, hastily looked around once more,
reached into the hole, and withdrew two pieces of chewing gum minus their
outer wrappers.
My first impulse was to get it into my mouth as quickly as possible, but I
remembered where I was. I ran home, and on our front porch I examined my
loot. The gum looked fresh. I sniffed it and it smelled all right. I licked it and
waited for a while. When I did not die I crammed it into my mouth: Wrigley’s
Double-Mint.
When Jem came home he asked me where I got such a wad. I told him I found
it.
“Don’t eat things you find, Scout.”
“This wasn’t on the ground, it was in a tree.”
Jem growled.
“Well it was,” I said. “It was sticking in that tree yonder, the one comin‘ from
school.”
“Spit it out right now!”
I spat it out. The tang was fading, anyway. “I’ve been chewin‘ it all afternoon
and I ain’t dead yet, not even sick.”
Jem stamped his foot. “Don’t you know you’re not supposed to even touch the
trees over there? You’ll get killed if you do!”
“You touched the house once!”
“That was different! You go gargle—right now, you hear me?”
“Ain’t neither, it’ll take the taste outa my mouth.”
“You don’t ‘n’ I’ll tell Calpurnia on you!”
Rather than risk a tangle with Calpurnia, I did as Jem told me. For some
reason, my first year of school had wrought a great change in our relationship:
Calpurnia’s tyranny, unfairness, and meddling in my business had faded to
gentle grumblings of general disapproval. On my part, I went to much trouble,
sometimes, not to provoke her.
Summer was on the way; Jem and I awaited it with impatience. Summer was
our best season: it was sleeping on the back screened porch in cots, or trying to
sleep in the treehouse; summer was everything good to eat; it was a thousand
colors in a parched landscape; but most of all, summer was Dill.
The authorities released us early the last day of school, and Jem and I walked
home together. “Reckon old Dill’ll be coming home tomorrow,” I said.
“Probably day after,” said Jem. “Mis’sippi turns ‘em loose a day later.”
As we came to the live oaks at the Radley Place I raised my finger to point for
the hundredth time to the knot-hole where I had found the chewing gum, trying
to make Jem believe I had found it there, and found myself pointing at another
piece of tinfoil.
“I see it, Scout! I see it—”
Jem looked around, reached up, and gingerly pocketed a tiny shiny package.
We ran home, and on the front porch we looked at a small box patchworked with
bits of tinfoil collected from chewing-gum wrappers. It was the kind of box
wedding rings came in, purple velvet with a minute catch. Jem flicked open the
tiny catch. Inside were two scrubbed and polished pennies, one on top of the
other. Jem examined them.
“Indian-heads,” he said. “Nineteen-six and Scout, one of em’s nineteen-
hundred. These are real old.”
“Nineteen-hundred,” I echoed. “Say—”
“Hush a minute, I’m thinkin‘.”
“Jem, you reckon that’s somebody’s hidin‘ place?”
“Naw, don’t anybody much but us pass by there, unless it’s some grown
person’s—”
“Grown folks don’t have hidin‘ places. You reckon we ought to keep ’em,
Jem?”
“I don’t know what we could do, Scout. Who’d we give ‘em back to? I know
for a fact don’t anybody go by there—Cecil goes by the back street an’ all the
way around by town to get home.”
Cecil Jacobs, who lived at the far end of our street next door to the post office,
walked a total of one mile per school day to avoid the Radley Place and old Mrs.
Henry Lafayette Dubose. Mrs. Dubose lived two doors up the street from us;
neighborhood opinion was unanimous that Mrs. Dubose was the meanest old
woman who ever lived. Jem wouldn’t go by her place without Atticus beside
him.
“What you reckon we oughta do, Jem?”
Finders were keepers unless title was proven. Plucking an occasional camellia,
getting a squirt of hot milk from Miss Maudie Atkinson’s cow on a summer day,
helping ourselves to someone’s scuppernongs was part of our ethical culture, but
money was different.
“Tell you what,” said Jem. “We’ll keep ‘em till school starts, then go around
and ask everybody if they’re theirs. They’re some bus child’s, maybe—he was
too taken up with gettin’ outa school today an‘ forgot ’em. These are
somebody’s, I know that. See how they’ve been slicked up? They’ve been
saved.”
“Yeah, but why should somebody wanta put away chewing gum like that?
You know it doesn’t last.”
“I don’t know, Scout. But these are important to somebody . . .”
“How’s that, Jem . . .?”
“Well, Indian-heads—well, they come from the Indians. They’re real strong
magic, they make you have good luck. Not like fried chicken when you’re not
lookin‘ for it, but things like long life ’n‘ good health, ’n‘ passin’ six-weeks tests
. . . these are real valuable to somebody. I’m gonna put em in my trunk.”
Before Jem went to his room, he looked for a long time at the Radley Place.
He seemed to be thinking again.
Two days later Dill arrived in a blaze of glory: he had ridden the train by
himself from Meridian to Maycomb Junction (a courtesy title—Maycomb
Junction was in Abbott County) where he had been met by Miss Rachel in
Maycomb’s one taxi; he had eaten dinner in the diner, he had seen two twins
hitched together get off the train in Bay St. Louis and stuck to his story
regardless of threats. He had discarded the abominable blue shorts that were
buttoned to his shirts and wore real short pants with a belt; he was somewhat
heavier, no taller, and said he had seen his father. Dill’s father was taller than
ours, he had a black beard (pointed), and was president of the L & N Railroad.
“I helped the engineer for a while,” said Dill, yawning.
“In a pig’s ear you did, Dill. Hush,” said Jem. “What’ll we play today?”
“Tom and Sam and Dick,” said Dill. “Let’s go in the front yard.” Dill wanted
the Rover Boys because there were three respectable parts. He was clearly tired
of being our character man.
“I’m tired of those,” I said. I was tired of playing Tom Rover, who suddenly
lost his memory in the middle of a picture show and was out of the script until
the end, when he was found in Alaska.
“Make us up one, Jem,” I said.
“I’m tired of makin‘ ’em up.”
Our first days of freedom, and we were tired. I wondered what the summer
would bring.
We had strolled to the front yard, where Dill stood looking down the street at
the dreary face of the Radley Place. “I—smell—death,” he said. “I do, I mean
it,” he said, when I told him to shut up.
“You mean when somebody’s dyin‘ you can smell it?”
“No, I mean I can smell somebody an‘ tell if they’re gonna die. An old lady
taught me how.” Dill leaned over and sniffed me. “Jean—Louise—Finch, you
are going to die in three days.”
“Dill if you don’t hush I’ll knock you bowlegged. I mean it, now—”
“Yawl hush,” growled Jem, “you act like you believe in Hot Steams.”
“You act like you don’t,” I said.
“What’s a Hot Steam?” asked Dill.
“Haven’t you ever walked along a lonesome road at night and passed by a hot
place?” Jem asked Dill. “A Hot Steam’s somebody who can’t get to heaven, just
wallows around on lonesome roads an‘ if you walk through him, when you die
you’ll be one too, an’ you’ll go around at night suckin‘ people’s breath—”
“How can you keep from passing through one?”
“You can’t,” said Jem. “Sometimes they stretch all the way across the road,
but if you hafta go through one you say, ‘Angel-bright, life-in-death; get off the
road, don’t suck my breath.’ That keeps ‘em from wrapping around you—”
“Don’t you believe a word he says, Dill,” I said. “Calpurnia says that’s nigger-
talk.”
Jem scowled darkly at me, but said, “Well, are we gonna play anything or
not?”
“Let’s roll in the tire,” I suggested.
Jem sighed. “You know I’m too big.”
“You c’n push.”
I ran to the back yard and pulled an old car tire from under the house. I
slapped it up to the front yard. “I’m first,” I said.
Dill said he ought to be first, he just got here.
Jem arbitrated, awarded me first push with an extra time for Dill, and I folded
myself inside the tire.
Until it happened I did not realize that Jem was offended by my contradicting
him on Hot Steams, and that he was patiently awaiting an opportunity to reward
me. He did, by pushing the tire down the sidewalk with all the force in his body.
Ground, sky and houses melted into a mad palette, my ears throbbed, I was
suffocating. I could not put out my hands to stop, they were wedged between my
chest and knees. I could only hope that Jem would outrun the tire and me, or that
I would be stopped by a bump in the sidewalk. I heard him behind me, chasing
and shouting.
The tire bumped on gravel, skeetered across the road, crashed into a barrier
and popped me like a cork onto pavement. Dizzy and nauseated, I lay on the
cement and shook my head still, pounded my ears to silence, and heard Jem’s
voice: “Scout, get away from there, come on!”
I raised my head and stared at the Radley Place steps in front of me. I froze.
“Come on, Scout, don’t just lie there!” Jem was screaming. “Get up,
can’tcha?”
I got to my feet, trembling as I thawed.
“Get the tire!” Jem hollered. “Bring it with you! Ain’t you got any sense at
all?”
When I was able to navigate, I ran back to them as fast as my shaking knees
would carry me.
“Why didn’t you bring it?” Jem yelled.
“Why don’t you get it?” I screamed.
Jem was silent.
“Go on, it ain’t far inside the gate. Why, you even touched the house once,
remember?”
Jem looked at me furiously, could not decline, ran down the sidewalk, treaded
water at the gate, then dashed in and retrieved the tire.
“See there?” Jem was scowling triumphantly. “Nothin‘ to it. I swear, Scout,
sometimes you act so much like a girl it’s mortifyin’.”
There was more to it than he knew, but I decided not to tell him.
Calpurnia appeared in the front door and yelled, “Lemonade time! You all get
in outa that hot sun ‘fore you fry alive!” Lemonade in the middle of the morning
was a summertime ritual. Calpurnia set a pitcher and three glasses on the porch,
then went about her business. Being out of Jem’s good graces did not worry me
especially. Lemonade would restore his good humor.
Jem gulped down his second glassful and slapped his chest. “I know what we
are going to play,” he announced. “Something new, something different.”
“What?” asked Dill.
“Boo Radley.”
Jem’s head at times was transparent: he had thought that up to make me
understand he wasn’t afraid of Radleys in any shape or form, to contrast his own
fearless heroism with my cowardice.
“Boo Radley? How?” asked Dill.
Jem said, “Scout, you can be Mrs. Radley—”
“I declare if I will. I don’t think—”
“‘Smatter?” said Dill. “Still scared?”
“He can get out at night when we’re all asleep . . .” I said.
Jem hissed. “Scout, how’s he gonna know what we’re doin‘? Besides, I don’t
think he’s still there. He died years ago and they stuffed him up the chimney.”
Dill said, “Jem, you and me can play and Scout can watch if she’s scared.”
I was fairly sure Boo Radley was inside that house, but I couldn’t prove it, and
felt it best to keep my mouth shut or I would be accused of believing in Hot
Steams, phenomena I was immune to in the daytime.
Jem parceled out our roles: I was Mrs. Radley, and all I had to do was come
out and sweep the porch. Dill was old Mr. Radley: he walked up and down the
sidewalk and coughed when Jem spoke to him. Jem, naturally, was Boo: he went
under the front steps and shrieked and howled from time to time.
As the summer progressed, so did our game. We polished and perfected it,
added dialogue and plot until we had manufactured a small play upon which we
rang changes every day.
Dill was a villain’s villain: he could get into any character part assigned him,
and appear tall if height was part of the devilry required. He was as good as his
worst performance; his worst performance was Gothic. I reluctantly played
assorted ladies who entered the script. I never thought it as much fun as Tarzan,
and I played that summer with more than vague anxiety despite Jem’s assurances
that Boo Radley was dead and nothing would get me, with him and Calpurnia
there in the daytime and Atticus home at night.
Jem was a born hero.
It was a melancholy little drama, woven from bits and scraps of gossip and
neighborhood legend: Mrs. Radley had been beautiful until she married Mr.
Radley and lost all her money. She also lost most of her teeth, her hair, and her
right forefinger (Dill’s contribution. Boo bit it off one night when he couldn’t
find any cats and squirrels to eat.); she sat in the livingroom and cried most of
the time, while Boo slowly whittled away all the furniture in the house.
The three of us were the boys who got into trouble; I was the probate judge,
for a change; Dill led Jem away and crammed him beneath the steps, poking him
with the brushbroom. Jem would reappear as needed in the shapes of the sheriff,
assorted townsfolk, and Miss Stephanie Crawford, who had more to say about
the Radleys than anybody in Maycomb.
When it was time to play Boo’s big scene, Jem would sneak into the house,
steal the scissors from the sewing-machine drawer when Calpurnia’s back was
turned, then sit in the swing and cut up newspapers. Dill would walk by, cough
at Jem, and Jem would fake a plunge into Dill’s thigh. From where I stood it
looked real.
When Mr. Nathan Radley passed us on his daily trip to town, we would stand
still and silent until he was out of sight, then wonder what he would do to us if
he suspected. Our activities halted when any of the neighbors appeared, and once
I saw Miss Maudie Atkinson staring across the street at us, her hedge clippers
poised in midair.
One day we were so busily playing Chapter XXV, Book II of One Man’s
Family, we did not see Atticus standing on the sidewalk looking at us, slapping a
rolled magazine against his knee. The sun said twelve noon.
“What are you all playing?” he asked.
“Nothing,” said Jem.
Jem’s evasion told me our game was a secret, so I kept quiet.
“What are you doing with those scissors, then? Why are you tearing up that
newspaper? If it’s today’s I’ll tan you.”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing what?” said Atticus.
“Nothing, sir.”
“Give me those scissors,” Atticus said. “They’re no things to play with. Does
this by any chance have anything to do with the Radleys?”
“No sir,” said Jem, reddening.
“I hope it doesn’t,” he said shortly, and went inside the house.
“Je-m . . .”
“Shut up! He’s gone in the livingroom, he can hear us in there.”
Safely in the yard, Dill asked Jem if we could play any more.
“I don’t know. Atticus didn’t say we couldn’t—”
“Jem,” I said, “I think Atticus knows it anyway.”
“No he don’t. If he did he’d say he did.”
I was not so sure, but Jem told me I was being a girl, that girls always
imagined things, that’s why other people hated them so, and if I started behaving
like one I could just go off and find some to play with.
“All right, you just keep it up then,” I said. “You’ll find out.”
Atticus’s arrival was the second reason I wanted to quit the game. The first
reason happened the day I rolled into the Radley front yard. Through all the
head-shaking, quelling of nausea and Jem-yelling, I had heard another sound, so
low I could not have heard it from the sidewalk. Someone inside the house was
laughing.
5
M
y nagging got the better of Jem eventually, as I knew it would, and to my
relief we slowed down the game for a while. He still maintained, however, that
Atticus hadn’t said we couldn’t, therefore we could; and if Atticus ever said we
couldn’t, Jem had thought of a way around it: he would simply change the
names of the characters and then we couldn’t be accused of playing anything.
Dill was in hearty agreement with this plan of action. Dill was becoming
something of a trial anyway, following Jem about. He had asked me earlier in
the summer to marry him, then he promptly forgot about it. He staked me out,
marked as his property, said I was the only girl he would ever love, then he
neglected me. I beat him up twice but it did no good, he only grew closer to Jem.
They spent days together in the treehouse plotting and planning, calling me only
when they needed a third party. But I kept aloof from their more foolhardy
schemes for a while, and on pain of being called a girl, I spent most of the
remaining twilights that summer sitting with Miss Maudie Atkinson on her front
porch.
Jem and I had always enjoyed the free run of Miss Maudie’s yard if we kept
out of her azaleas, but our contact with her was not clearly defined. Until Jem
and Dill excluded me from their plans, she was only another lady in the
neighborhood, but a relatively benign presence.
Our tacit treaty with Miss Maudie was that we could play on her lawn, eat her
scuppernongs if we didn’t jump on the arbor, and explore her vast back lot,
terms so generous we seldom spoke to her, so careful were we to preserve the
delicate balance of our relationship, but Jem and Dill drove me closer to her with
their behavior.
Miss Maudie hated her house: time spent indoors was time wasted. She was a
widow, a chameleon lady who worked in her flower beds in an old straw hat and
men’s coveralls, but after her five o’clock bath she would appear on the porch
and reign over the street in magisterial beauty.
She loved everything that grew in God’s earth, even the weeds. With one
exception. If she found a blade of nut grass in her yard it was like the Second
Battle of the Marne: she swooped down upon it with a tin tub and subjected it to
blasts from beneath with a poisonous substance she said was so powerful it’d kill
us all if we didn’t stand out of the way.
“Why can’t you just pull it up?” I asked, after witnessing a prolonged
campaign against a blade not three inches high.
“Pull it up, child, pull it up?” She picked up the limp sprout and squeezed her
thumb up its tiny stalk. Microscopic grains oozed out. “Why, one sprig of nut
grass can ruin a whole yard. Look here. When it comes fall this dries up and the
wind blows it all over Maycomb County!” Miss Maudie’s face likened such an
occurrence unto an Old Testament pestilence.
Her speech was crisp for a Maycomb County inhabitant. She called us by all
our names, and when she grinned she revealed two minute gold prongs clipped
to her eyeteeth. When I admired them and hoped I would have some eventually,
she said, “Look here.” With a click of her tongue she thrust out her bridgework,
a gesture of cordiality that cemented our friendship.
Miss Maudie’s benevolence extended to Jem and Dill, whenever they paused
in their pursuits: we reaped the benefits of a talent Miss Maudie had hitherto
kept hidden from us. She made the best cakes in the neighborhood. When she
was admitted into our confidence, every time she baked she made a big cake and
three little ones, and she would call across the street: “Jem Finch, Scout Finch,
Charles Baker Harris, come here!” Our promptness was always rewarded.
In summertime, twilights are long and peaceful. Often as not, Miss Maudie
and I would sit silently on her porch, watching the sky go from yellow to pink as
the sun went down, watching flights of martins sweep low over the
neighborhood and disappear behind the schoolhouse rooftops.
“Miss Maudie,” I said one evening, “do you think Boo Radley’s still alive?”
“His name’s Arthur and he’s alive,” she said. She was rocking slowly in her
big oak chair. “Do you smell my mimosa? It’s like angels’ breath this evening.”
“Yessum. How do you know?”
“Know what, child?”
“That B—Mr. Arthur’s still alive?”
“What a morbid question. But I suppose it’s a morbid subject. I know he’s
alive, Jean Louise, because I haven’t seen him carried out yet.”
“Maybe he died and they stuffed him up the chimney.”
“Where did you get such a notion?”
“That’s what Jem said he thought they did.”
“S-ss-ss. He gets more like Jack Finch every day.”
Miss Maudie had known Uncle Jack Finch, Atticus’s brother, since they were
children. Nearly the same age, they had grown up together at Finch’s Landing.
Miss Maudie was the daughter of a neighboring landowner, Dr. Frank Buford.
Dr. Buford’s profession was medicine and his obsession was anything that grew
in the ground, so he stayed poor. Uncle Jack Finch confined his passion for
digging to his window boxes in Nashville and stayed rich. We saw Uncle Jack
every Christmas, and every Christmas he yelled across the street for Miss
Maudie to come marry him. Miss Maudie would yell back, “Call a little louder,
Jack Finch, and they’ll hear you at the post office, I haven’t heard you yet!” Jem
and I thought this a strange way to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage, but then
Uncle Jack was rather strange. He said he was trying to get Miss Maudie’s goat,
that he had been trying unsuccessfully for forty years, that he was the last person
in the world Miss Maudie would think about marrying but the first person she
thought about teasing, and the best defense to her was spirited offense, all of
which we understood clearly.
“Arthur Radley just stays in the house, that’s all,” said Miss Maudie.
“Wouldn’t you stay in the house if you didn’t want to come out?”
“Yessum, but I’d wanta come out. Why doesn’t he?”
Miss Maudie’s eyes narrowed. “You know that story as well as I do.”
“I never heard why, though. Nobody ever told me why.”
Miss Maudie settled her bridgework. “You know old Mr. Radley was a foot-
washing Baptist.”
“That’s what you are, ain’t it?”
“My shell’s not that hard, child. I’m just a Baptist.”
“Don’t you all believe in foot-washing?”
“We do. At home in the bathtub.”
“But we can’t have communion with you all—”
Apparently deciding that it was easier to define primitive baptistry than closed
communion, Miss Maudie said: “Foot-washers believe anything that’s pleasure
is a sin. Did you know some of ‘em came out of the woods one Saturday and
passed by this place and told me me and my flowers were going to hell?”
“Your flowers, too?”
“Yes ma’am. They’d burn right with me. They thought I spent too much time
in God’s outdoors and not enough time inside the house reading the Bible.”
My confidence in pulpit Gospel lessened at the vision of Miss Maudie stewing
forever in various Protestant hells. True enough, she had an acid tongue in her
head, and she did not go about the neighborhood doing good, as did Miss
Stephanie Crawford. But while no one with a grain of sense trusted Miss
Stephanie, Jem and I had considerable faith in Miss Maudie. She had never told
on us, had never played cat-and-mouse with us, she was not at all interested in
our private lives. She was our friend. How so reasonable a creature could live in
peril of everlasting torment was incomprehensible.
“That ain’t right, Miss Maudie. You’re the best lady I know.”
Miss Maudie grinned. “Thank you ma’am. Thing is, foot-washers think
women are a sin by definition. They take the Bible literally, you know.”
“Is that why Mr. Arthur stays in the house, to keep away from women?”
“I’ve no idea.”
“It doesn’t make sense to me. Looks like if Mr. Arthur was hankerin‘ after
heaven he’d come out on the porch at least. Atticus says God’s loving folks like
you love yourself—”
Miss Maudie stopped rocking, and her voice hardened. “You are too young to
understand it,” she said, “but sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is
worse than a whiskey bottle in the hand of—oh, of your father.”
I was shocked. “Atticus doesn’t drink whiskey,” I said. “He never drunk a
drop in his life—nome, yes he did. He said he drank some one time and didn’t
like it.”
Miss Maudie laughed. “Wasn’t talking about your father,” she said. “What I
meant was, if Atticus Finch drank until he was drunk he wouldn’t be as hard as
some men are at their best. There are just some kind of men who—who’re so
busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and
you can look down the street and see the results.”
“Do you think they’re true, all those things they say about B—Mr. Arthur?”
“What things?”
I told her.
“That is three-fourths colored folks and one-fourth Stephanie Crawford,” said
Miss Maudie grimly. “Stephanie Crawford even told me once she woke up in the
middle of the night and found him looking in the window at her. I said what did
you do, Stephanie, move over in the bed and make room for him? That shut her
up a while.”
I was sure it did. Miss Maudie’s voice was enough to shut anybody up.
“No, child,” she said, “that is a sad house. I remember Arthur Radley when he
was a boy. He always spoke nicely to me, no matter what folks said he did.
Spoke as nicely as he knew how.”
“You reckon he’s crazy?”
Miss Maudie shook her head. “If he’s not he should be by now. The things
that happen to people we never really know. What happens in houses behind
closed doors, what secrets—”
“Atticus don’t ever do anything to Jem and me in the house that he don’t do in
the yard,” I said, feeling it my duty to defend my parent.
“Gracious child, I was raveling a thread, wasn’t even thinking about your
father, but now that I am I’ll say this: Atticus Finch is the same in his house as
he is on the public streets. How’d you like some fresh poundcake to take home?”
I liked it very much.
Next morning when I awakened I found Jem and Dill in the back yard deep in
conversation. When I joined them, as usual they said go away.
“Will not. This yard’s as much mine as it is yours, Jem Finch. I got just as
much right to play in it as you have.”
Dill and Jem emerged from a brief huddle: “If you stay you’ve got to do what
we tell you,” Dill warned.
“We-ll,” I said, “who’s so high and mighty all of a sudden?”
“If you don’t say you’ll do what we tell you, we ain’t gonna tell you
anything,” Dill continued.
“You act like you grew ten inches in the night! All right, what is it?”
Jem said placidly, “We are going to give a note to Boo Radley.”
“Just how?” I was trying to fight down the automatic terror rising in me. It
was all right for Miss Maudie to talk—she was old and snug on her porch. It was
different for us.
Jem was merely going to put the note on the end of a fishing pole and stick it
through the shutters. If anyone came along, Dill would ring the bell.
Dill raised his right hand. In it was my mother’s silver dinner-bell.
“I’m goin‘ around to the side of the house,” said Jem. “We looked yesterday
from across the street, and there’s a shutter loose. Think maybe I can make it
stick on the window sill, at least.”
“Jem—”
“Now you’re in it and you can’t get out of it, you’ll just stay in it, Miss Priss!”
“Okay, okay, but I don’t wanta watch. Jem, somebody was—”
“Yes you will, you’ll watch the back end of the lot and Dill’s gonna watch the
front of the house an‘ up the street, an’ if anybody comes he’ll ring the bell. That
clear?”
“All right then. What’d you write him?”
Dill said, “We’re askin‘ him real politely to come out sometimes, and tell us
what he does in there—we said we wouldn’t hurt him and we’d buy him an ice
cream.”
“You all’ve gone crazy, he’ll kill us!”
Dill said, “It’s my idea. I figure if he’d come out and sit a spell with us he
might feel better.”
“How do you know he don’t feel good?”
“Well how’d you feel if you’d been shut up for a hundred years with nothin‘
but cats to eat? I bet he’s got a beard down to here.”
“Like your daddy’s?”
“He ain’t got a beard, he—” Dill stopped, as if trying to remember.
“Uh huh, caughtcha,” I said. “You said ‘fore you were off the train good your
daddy had a black beard.”
“If it’s all the same to you he shaved it off last summer! Yeah, an‘ I’ve got the
letter to prove it—he sent me two dollars, too!”
“Keep on—I reckon he even sent you a mounted police uniform! That’n never
showed up, did it? You just keep on tellin‘ ’em, son—”
Dill Harris could tell the biggest ones I ever heard. Among other things, he
had been up in a mail plane seventeen times, he had been to Nova Scotia, he had
seen an elephant, and his granddaddy was Brigadier General Joe Wheeler and
left him his sword.
“You all hush,” said Jem. He scuttled beneath the house and came out with a
yellow bamboo pole. “Reckon this is long enough to reach from the sidewalk?”
“Anybody who’s brave enough to go up and touch the house hadn’t oughta
use a fishin‘ pole,” I said. “Why don’t you just knock the front door down?”
“This—is—different,” said Jem, “how many times do I have to tell you that?”
Dill took a piece of paper from his pocket and gave it to Jem. The three of us
walked cautiously toward the old house. Dill remained at the light-pole on the
front corner of the lot, and Jem and I edged down the sidewalk parallel to the
side of the house. I walked beyond Jem and stood where I could see around the
curve.
“All clear,” I said. “Not a soul in sight.”
Jem looked up the sidewalk to Dill, who nodded.
Jem attached the note to the end of the fishing pole, let the pole out across the
yard and pushed it toward the window he had selected. The pole lacked several
inches of being long enough, and Jem leaned over as far as he could. I watched
him making jabbing motions for so long, I abandoned my post and went to him.
“Can’t get it off the pole,” he muttered, “or if I got it off I can’t make it stay.
G’on back down the street, Scout.”
I returned and gazed around the curve at the empty road. Occasionally I
looked back at Jem, who was patiently trying to place the note on the window
sill. It would flutter to the ground and Jem would jab it up, until I thought if Boo
Radley ever received it he wouldn’t be able to read it. I was looking down the
street when the dinner-bell rang.
Shoulder up, I reeled around to face Boo Radley and his bloody fangs;
instead, I saw Dill ringing the bell with all his might in Atticus’s face.
Jem looked so awful I didn’t have the heart to tell him I told him so. He
trudged along, dragging the pole behind him on the sidewalk.
Atticus said, “Stop ringing that bell.”
Dill grabbed the clapper; in the silence that followed, I wished he’d start
ringing it again. Atticus pushed his hat to the back of his head and put his hands
on his hips. “Jem,” he said, “what were you doing?”
“Nothin‘, sir.”
“I don’t want any of that. Tell me.”
“I was—we were just tryin‘ to give somethin’ to Mr. Radley.”
“What were you trying to give him?”
“Just a letter.”
“Let me see it.”
Jem held out a filthy piece of paper. Atticus took it and tried to read it. “Why
do you want Mr. Radley to come out?”
Dill said, “We thought he might enjoy us . . .” and dried up when Atticus
looked at him.
“Son,” he said to Jem, “I’m going to tell you something and tell you one time:
stop tormenting that man. That goes for the other two of you.”
What Mr. Radley did was his own business. If he wanted to come out, he
would. If he wanted to stay inside his own house he had the right to stay inside
free from the attentions of inquisitive children, which was a mild term for the
likes of us. How would we like it if Atticus barged in on us without knocking,
when we were in our rooms at night? We were, in effect, doing the same thing to
Mr. Radley. What Mr. Radley did might seem peculiar to us, but it did not seem
peculiar to him. Furthermore, had it never occurred to us that the civil way to
communicate with another being was by the front door instead of a side
window? Lastly, we were to stay away from that house until we were invited
there, we were not to play an asinine game he had seen us playing or make fun
of anybody on this street or in this town-
“We weren’t makin‘ fun of him, we weren’t laughin’ at him,” said Jem, “we
were just—”
“So that was what you were doing, wasn’t it?”
“Makin‘ fun of him?”
“No,” said Atticus, “putting his life’s history on display for the edification of
the neighborhood.”
Jem seemed to swell a little. “I didn’t say we were doin‘ that, I didn’t say it!”
Atticus grinned dryly. “You just told me,” he said. “You stop this nonsense
right now, every one of you.”
Jem gaped at him.
“You want to be a lawyer, don’t you?” Our father’s mouth was suspiciously
firm, as if he were trying to hold it in line.
Jem decided there was no point in quibbling, and was silent. When Atticus
went inside the house to retrieve a file he had forgotten to take to work that
morning, Jem finally realized that he had been done in by the oldest lawyer’s
trick on record. He waited a respectful distance from the front steps, watched
Atticus leave the house and walk toward town. When Atticus was out of earshot
Jem yelled after him: “I thought I wanted to be a lawyer but I ain’t so sure now!”
6
“Y
es,” said our father, when Jem asked him if we could go over and sit by
Miss Rachel’s fishpool with Dill, as this was his last night in Maycomb. “Tell
him so long for me, and we’ll see him next summer.”
We leaped over the low wall that separated Miss Rachel’s yard from our
driveway. Jem whistled bob-white and Dill answered in the darkness.
“Not a breath blowing,” said Jem. “Looka yonder.”
He pointed to the east. A gigantic moon was rising behind Miss Maudie’s
pecan trees. “That makes it seem hotter,” he said.
“Cross in it tonight?” asked Dill, not looking up. He was constructing a
cigarette from newspaper and string.
“No, just the lady. Don’t light that thing, Dill, you’ll stink up this whole end
of town.”
There was a lady in the moon in Maycomb. She sat at a dresser combing her
hair.
“We’re gonna miss you, boy,” I said. “Reckon we better watch for Mr.
Avery?”
Mr. Avery boarded across the street from Mrs. Henry Lafayette Dubose’s
house. Besides making change in the collection plate every Sunday, Mr. Avery
sat on the porch every night until nine o’clock and sneezed. One evening we
were privileged to witness a performance by him which seemed to have been his
positively last, for he never did it again so long as we watched. Jem and I were
leaving Miss Rachel’s front steps one night when Dill stopped us: “Golly, looka
yonder.” He pointed across the street. At first we saw nothing but a kudzu-
covered front porch, but a closer inspection revealed an arc of water descending
from the leaves and splashing in the yellow circle of the street light, some ten
feet from source to earth, it seemed to us. Jem said Mr. Avery misfigured, Dill
said he must drink a gallon a day, and the ensuing contest to determine relative
distances and respective prowess only made me feel left out again, as I was
untalented in this area.
Dill stretched, yawned, and said altogether too casually. “I know what, let’s
go for a walk.”
He sounded fishy to me. Nobody in Maycomb just went for a walk. “Where
to, Dill?”
Dill jerked his head in a southerly direction.
Jem said, “Okay.” When I protested, he said sweetly, “You don’t have to
come along, Angel May.”
“You don’t have to go. Remember—”
Jem was not one to dwell on past defeats: it seemed the only message he got
from Atticus was insight into the art of cross examination. “Scout, we ain’t
gonna do anything, we’re just goin‘ to the street light and back.”
We strolled silently down the sidewalk, listening to porch swings creaking
with the weight of the neighborhood, listening to the soft night-murmurs of the
grown people on our street. Occasionally we heard Miss Stephanie Crawford
laugh.
“Well?” said Dill.
“Okay,” said Jem. “Why don’t you go on home, Scout?”
“What are you gonna do?”
Dill and Jem were simply going to peep in the window with the loose shutter
to see if they could get a look at Boo Radley, and if I didn’t want to go with
them I could go straight home and keep my fat flopping mouth shut, that was all.
“But what in the sam holy hill did you wait till tonight?”
Because nobody could see them at night, because Atticus would be so deep in
a book he wouldn’t hear the Kingdom coming, because if Boo Radley killed
them they’d miss school instead of vacation, and because it was easier to see
inside a dark house in the dark than in the daytime, did I understand?
“Jem, please—”
“Scout, I’m tellin‘ you for the last time, shut your trap or go home—I declare
to the Lord you’re gettin’ more like a girl every day!”
With that, I had no option but to join them. We thought it was better to go
under the high wire fence at the rear of the Radley lot, we stood less chance of
being seen. The fence enclosed a large garden and a narrow wooden outhouse.
Jem held up the bottom wire and motioned Dill under it. I followed, and held
up the wire for Jem. It was a tight squeeze for him. “Don’t make a sound,” he
whispered. “Don’t get in a row of collards whatever you do, they’ll wake the
dead.”
With this thought in mind, I made perhaps one step per minute. I moved faster
when I saw Jem far ahead beckoning in the moonlight. We came to the gate that
divided the garden from the back yard. Jem touched it. The gate squeaked.
“Spit on it,” whispered Dill.
“You’ve got us in a box, Jem,” I muttered. “We can’t get out of here so easy.”
“Sh-h. Spit on it, Scout.”
We spat ourselves dry, and Jem opened the gate slowly, lifting it aside and
resting it on the fence. We were in the back yard.
The back of the Radley house was less inviting than the front: a ramshackle
porch ran the width of the house; there were two doors and two dark windows
between the doors. Instead of a column, a rough two-by-four supported one end
of the roof. An old Franklin stove sat in a corner of the porch; above it a hat-rack
mirror caught the moon and shone eerily.
“Ar-r,” said Jem softly, lifting his foot.
“‘Smatter?”
“Chickens,” he breathed.
That we would be obliged to dodge the unseen from all directions was
confirmed when Dill ahead of us spelled G-o-d in a whisper. We crept to the side
of the house, around to the window with the hanging shutter. The sill was several
inches taller than Jem.
“Give you a hand up,” he muttered to Dill. “Wait, though.” Jem grabbed his
left wrist and my right wrist, I grabbed my left wrist and Jem’s right wrist, we
crouched, and Dill sat on our saddle. We raised him and he caught the window
sill.
“Hurry,” Jem whispered, “we can’t last much longer.”
Dill punched my shoulder, and we lowered him to the ground.
“What’d you see?”
“Nothing. Curtains. There’s a little teeny light way off somewhere, though.”
“Let’s get away from here,” breathed Jem. “Let’s go ‘round in back again. Sh-
h,” he warned me, as I was about to protest.
“Let’s try the back window.”
“Dill, no,” I said.
Dill stopped and let Jem go ahead. When Jem put his foot on the bottom step,
the step squeaked. He stood still, then tried his weight by degrees. The step was
silent. Jem skipped two steps, put his foot on the porch, heaved himself to it, and
teetered a long moment. He regained his balance and dropped to his knees. He
crawled to the window, raised his head and looked in.
Then I saw the shadow. It was the shadow of a man with a hat on. At first I
thought it was a tree, but there was no wind blowing, and tree-trunks never
walked. The back porch was bathed in moonlight, and the shadow, crisp as toast,
moved across the porch toward Jem.
Dill saw it next. He put his hands to his face.
When it crossed Jem, Jem saw it. He put his arms over his head and went
rigid.
The shadow stopped about a foot beyond Jem. Its arm came out from its side,
dropped, and was still. Then it turned and moved back across Jem, walked along
the porch and off the side of the house, returning as it had come.
Jem leaped off the porch and galloped toward us. He flung open the gate,
danced Dill and me through, and shooed us between two rows of swishing
collards. Halfway through the collards I tripped; as I tripped the roar of a
shotgun shattered the neighborhood.
Dill and Jem dived beside me. Jem’s breath came in sobs: “Fence by the
schoolyard!—hurry, Scout!”
Jem held the bottom wire; Dill and I rolled through and were halfway to the
shelter of the schoolyard’s solitary oak when we sensed that Jem was not with
us. We ran back and found him struggling in the fence, kicking his pants off to
get loose. He ran to the oak tree in his shorts.
Safely behind it, we gave way to numbness, but Jem’s mind was racing: “We
gotta get home, they’ll miss us.”
We ran across the schoolyard, crawled under the fence to Deer’s Pasture
behind our house, climbed our back fence and were at the back steps before Jem
would let us pause to rest.
Respiration normal, the three of us strolled as casually as we could to the front
yard. We looked down the street and saw a circle of neighbors at the Radley
front gate.
“We better go down there,” said Jem. “They’ll think it’s funny if we don’t
show up.”
Mr. Nathan Radley was standing inside his gate, a shotgun broken across his
arm. Atticus was standing beside Miss Maudie and Miss Stephanie Crawford.
Miss Rachel and Mr. Avery were near by. None of them saw us come up.
We eased in beside Miss Maudie, who looked around. “Where were you all,
didn’t you hear the commotion?”
“What happened?” asked Jem.
“Mr. Radley shot at a Negro in his collard patch.”
“Oh. Did he hit him?”
“No,” said Miss Stephanie. “Shot in the air. Scared him pale, though. Says if
anybody sees a white nigger around, that’s the one. Says he’s got the other barrel
waitin‘ for the next sound he hears in that patch, an’ next time he won’t aim
high, be it dog, nigger, or—Jem Finch!”
“Ma’am?” asked Jem.
Atticus spoke. “Where’re your pants, son?”
“Pants, sir?”
“Pants.”
It was no use. In his shorts before God and everybody. I sighed.
“Ah—Mr. Finch?”
In the glare from the streetlight, I could see Dill hatching one: his eyes
widened, his fat cherub face grew rounder.
“What is it, Dill?” asked Atticus.
“Ah—I won ‘em from him,” he said vaguely.
“Won them? How?”
Dill’s hand sought the back of his head. He brought it forward and across his
forehead. “We were playin‘ strip poker up yonder by the fishpool,” he said.
Jem and I relaxed. The neighbors seemed satisfied: they all stiffened. But
what was strip poker?
We had no chance to find out: Miss Rachel went off like the town fire siren:
“Do-o-o Jee-sus, Dill Harris! Gamblin‘ by my fishpool? I’ll strip-poker you,
sir!”
Atticus saved Dill from immediate dismemberment. “Just a minute, Miss
Rachel,” he said. “I’ve never heard of ‘em doing that before. Were you all
playing cards?”
Jem fielded Dill’s fly with his eyes shut: “No sir, just with matches.”
I admired my brother. Matches were dangerous, but cards were fatal.
“Jem, Scout,” said Atticus, “I don’t want to hear of poker in any form again.
Go by Dill’s and get your pants, Jem. Settle it yourselves.”
“Don’t worry, Dill,” said Jem, as we trotted up the sidewalk, “she ain’t gonna
get you. He’ll talk her out of it. That was fast thinkin‘, son. Listen . . . you hear?”
We stopped, and heard Atticus’s voice: “. . . not serious . . . they all go
through it, Miss Rachel . . .”
Dill was comforted, but Jem and I weren’t. There was the problem of Jem
showing up some pants in the morning.
“‘d give you some of mine,” said Dill, as we came to Miss Rachel’s steps. Jem
said he couldn’t get in them, but thanks anyway. We said good-bye, and Dill
went inside the house. He evidently remembered he was engaged to me, for he
ran back out and kissed me swiftly in front of Jem. “Yawl write, hear?” he
bawled after us.
Had Jem’s pants been safely on him, we would not have slept much anyway.
Every night-sound I heard from my cot on the back porch was magnified three-
fold; every scratch of feet on gravel was Boo Radley seeking revenge, every
passing Negro laughing in the night was Boo Radley loose and after us; insects
splashing against the screen were Boo Radley’s insane fingers picking the wire
to pieces; the chinaberry trees were malignant, hovering, alive. I lingered
between sleep and wakefulness until I heard Jem murmur.
“Sleep, Little Three-Eyes?”
“Are you crazy?”
“Sh-h. Atticus’s light’s out.”
In the waning moonlight I saw Jem swing his feet to the floor.
“I’m goin‘ after ’em,” he said.
I sat upright. “You can’t. I won’t let you.”
He was struggling into his shirt. “I’ve got to.”
“You do an‘ I’ll wake up Atticus.”
“You do and I’ll kill you.”
I pulled him down beside me on the cot. I tried to reason with him. “Mr.
Nathan’s gonna find ‘em in the morning, Jem. He knows you lost ’em. When he
shows ‘em to Atticus it’ll be pretty bad, that’s all there is to it. Go’n back to
bed.”
“That’s what I know,” said Jem. “That’s why I’m goin‘ after ’em.”
I began to feel sick. Going back to that place by himself—I remembered Miss
Stephanie: Mr. Nathan had the other barrel waiting for the next sound he heard,
be it nigger, dog . . . Jem knew that better than I.
I was desperate: “Look, it ain’t worth it, Jem. A lickin‘ hurts but it doesn’t
last. You’ll get your head shot off, Jem. Please . . .”
He blew out his breath patiently. “I—it’s like this, Scout,” he muttered.
“Atticus ain’t ever whipped me since I can remember. I wanta keep it that way.”
This was a thought. It seemed that Atticus threatened us every other day.
“You mean he’s never caught you at anything.”
“Maybe so, but—I just wanta keep it that way, Scout. We shouldn’a done that
tonight, Scout.”
It was then, I suppose, that Jem and I first began to part company. Sometimes
I did not understand him, but my periods of bewilderment were short-lived. This
was beyond me. “Please,” I pleaded, “can’tcha just think about it for a minute—
by yourself on that place—”
“Shut up!”
“It’s not like he’d never speak to you again or somethin‘ . . . I’m gonna wake
him up, Jem, I swear I am—”
Jem grabbed my pajama collar and wrenched it tight. “Then I’m goin‘ with
you—” I choked.
“No you ain’t, you’ll just make noise.”
It was no use. I unlatched the back door and held it while he crept down the
steps. It must have been two o’clock. The moon was setting and the lattice-work
shadows were fading into fuzzy nothingness. Jem’s white shirt-tail dipped and
bobbed like a small ghost dancing away to escape the coming morning. A faint
breeze stirred and cooled the sweat running down my sides.
He went the back way, through Deer’s Pasture, across the schoolyard and
around to the fence, I thought—at least that was the way he was headed. It
would take longer, so it was not time to worry yet. I waited until it was time to
worry and listened for Mr. Radley’s shotgun. Then I thought I heard the back
fence squeak. It was wishful thinking.
Then I heard Atticus cough. I held my breath. Sometimes when we made a
midnight pilgrimage to the bathroom we would find him reading. He said he
often woke up during the night, checked on us, and read himself back to sleep. I
waited for his light to go on, straining my eyes to see it flood the hall. It stayed
off, and I breathed again. The night-crawlers had retired, but ripe chinaberries
drummed on the roof when the wind stirred, and the darkness was desolate with
the barking of distant dogs.
There he was, returning to me. His white shirt bobbed over the back fence and
slowly grew larger. He came up the back steps, latched the door behind him, and
sat on his cot. Wordlessly, he held up his pants. He lay down, and for a while I
heard his cot trembling. Soon he was still. I did not hear him stir again.
7
J
em stayed moody and silent for a week. As Atticus had once advised me to do,
I tried to climb into Jem’s skin and walk around in it: if I had gone alone to the
Radley Place at two in the morning, my funeral would have been held the next
afternoon. So I left Jem alone and tried not to bother him.
School started. The second grade was as bad as the first, only worse—they
still flashed cards at you and wouldn’t let you read or write. Miss Caroline’s
progress next door could be estimated by the frequency of laughter; however, the
usual crew had flunked the first grade again, and were helpful in keeping order.
The only thing good about the second grade was that this year I had to stay as
late as Jem, and we usually walked home together at three o’clock.
One afternoon when we were crossing the schoolyard toward home, Jem
suddenly said: “There’s something I didn’t tell you.”
As this was his first complete sentence in several days, I encouraged him:
“About what?”
“About that night.”
“You’ve never told me anything about that night,” I said.
Jem waved my words away as if fanning gnats. He was silent for a while, then
he said, “When I went back for my breeches—they were all in a tangle when I
was gettin‘ out of ’em, I couldn’t get ‘em loose. When I went back—” Jem took
a deep breath. “When I went back, they were folded across the fence . . . like
they were expectin’ me.”
“Across—”
“And something else—” Jem’s voice was flat. “Show you when we get home.
They’d been sewed up. Not like a lady sewed ‘em, like somethin’ I’d try to do.
All crooked. It’s almost like—”
“—somebody knew you were comin‘ back for ’em.”
Jem shuddered. “Like somebody was readin‘ my mind . . . like somebody
could tell what I was gonna do. Can’t anybody tell what I’m gonna do lest they
know me, can they, Scout?”
Jem’s question was an appeal. I reassured him: “Can’t anybody tell what
you’re gonna do lest they live in the house with you, and even I can’t tell
sometimes.”
We were walking past our tree. In its knot-hole rested a ball of gray twine.
“Don’t take it, Jem,” I said. “This is somebody’s hidin‘ place.”
“I don’t think so, Scout.”
“Yes it is. Somebody like Walter Cunningham comes down here every recess
and hides his things—and we come along and take ‘em away from him. Listen,
let’s leave it and wait a couple of days. If it ain’t gone then, we’ll take it, okay?”
“Okay, you might be right,” said Jem. “It must be some little kid’s place—
hides his things from the bigger folks. You know it’s only when school’s in that
we’ve found things.”
“Yeah,” I said, “but we never go by here in the summertime.”
We went home. Next morning the twine was where we had left it. When it
was still there on the third day, Jem pocketed it. From then on, we considered
everything we found in the knot-hole our property. -
The second grade was grim, but Jem assured me that the older I got the better
school would be, that he started off the same way, and it was not until one
reached the sixth grade that one learned anything of value. The sixth grade
seemed to please him from the beginning: he went through a brief Egyptian
Period that baffled me—he tried to walk flat a great deal, sticking one arm in
front of him and one in back of him, putting one foot behind the other. He
declared Egyptians walked that way; I said if they did I didn’t see how they got
anything done, but Jem said they accomplished more than the Americans ever
did, they invented toilet paper and perpetual embalming, and asked where would
we be today if they hadn’t? Atticus told me to delete the adjectives and I’d have
the facts.
There are no clearly defined seasons in South Alabama; summer drifts into
autumn, and autumn is sometimes never followed by winter, but turns to a days-
old spring that melts into summer again. That fall was a long one, hardly cool
enough for a light jacket. Jem and I were trotting in our orbit one mild October
afternoon when our knot-hole stopped us again. Something white was inside this
time.
Jem let me do the honors: I pulled out two small images carved in soap. One
was the figure of a boy, the other wore a crude dress. Before I remembered that
there was no such thing as hoo-dooing, I shrieked and threw them down.
Jem snatched them up. “What’s the matter with you?” he yelled. He rubbed
the figures free of red dust. “These are good,” he said. “I’ve never seen any these
good.”
He held them down to me. They were almost perfect miniatures of two
children. The boy had on shorts, and a shock of soapy hair fell to his eyebrows. I
looked up at Jem. A point of straight brown hair kicked downwards from his
part. I had never noticed it before. Jem looked from the girl-doll to me. The girl-
doll wore bangs. So did I.
“These are us,” he said.
“Who did ‘em, you reckon?”
“Who do we know around here who whittles?” he asked.
“Mr. Avery.”
“Mr. Avery just does like this. I mean carves.”
Mr. Avery averaged a stick of stovewood per week; he honed it down to a
toothpick and chewed it.
“There’s old Miss Stephanie Crawford’s sweetheart,” I said.
“He carves all right, but he lives down the country. When would he ever pay
any attention to us?”
“Maybe he sits on the porch and looks at us instead of Miss Stephanie. If I
was him, I would.”
Jem stared at me so long I asked what was the matter, but got Nothing, Scout
for an answer. When we went home, Jem put the dolls in his trunk.
Less than two weeks later we found a whole package of chewing gum, which
we enjoyed, the fact that everything on the Radley Place was poison having
slipped Jem’s memory.
The following week the knot-hole yielded a tarnished medal. Jem showed it to
Atticus, who said it was a spelling medal, that before we were born the
Maycomb County schools had spelling contests and awarded medals to the
winners. Atticus said someone must have lost it, and had we asked around? Jem
camel-kicked me when I tried to say where we had found it. Jem asked Atticus if
he remembered anybody who ever won one, and Atticus said no.
Our biggest prize appeared four days later. It was a pocket watch that
wouldn’t run, on a chain with an aluminum knife.
“You reckon it’s white gold, Jem?”
“Don’t know. I’ll show it to Atticus.”
Atticus said it would probably be worth ten dollars, knife, chain and all, if it
were new. “Did you swap with somebody at school?” he asked.
“Oh, no sir!” Jem pulled out his grandfather’s watch that Atticus let him carry
once a week if Jem were careful with it. On the days he carried the watch, Jem
walked on eggs. “Atticus, if it’s all right with you, I’d rather have this one
instead. Maybe I can fix it.”
When the new wore off his grandfather’s watch, and carrying it became a
day’s burdensome task, Jem no longer felt the necessity of ascertaining the hour
every five minutes.
He did a fair job, only one spring and two tiny pieces left over, but the watch
would not run. “Oh-h,” he sighed, “it’ll never go. Scout—?”
“Huh?”
“You reckon we oughta write a letter to whoever’s leaving us these things?”
“That’d be right nice, Jem, we can thank ‘em—what’s wrong?”
Jem was holding his ears, shaking his head from side to side. “I don’t get it, I
just don’t get it—I don’t know why, Scout . . .” He looked toward the
livingroom. “I’ve gotta good mind to tell Atticus—no, I reckon not.”
“I’ll tell him for you.”
“No, don’t do that, Scout. Scout?”
“Wha-t?”
He had been on the verge of telling me something all evening; his face would
brighten and he would lean toward me, then he would change his mind. He
changed it again. “Oh, nothin‘.”
“Here, let’s write a letter.” I pushed a tablet and pencil under his nose.
“Okay. Dear Mister . . .”
“How do you know it’s a man? I bet it’s Miss Maudie—been bettin‘ that for a
long time.”
“Ar-r, Miss Maudie can’t chew gum—” Jem broke into a grin. “You know,
she can talk real pretty sometimes. One time I asked her to have a chew and she
said no thanks, that—chewing gum cleaved to her palate and rendered her
speechless,” said Jem carefully. “Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“Yeah, she can say nice things sometimes. She wouldn’t have a watch and
chain anyway.”
“Dear sir,” said Jem. “We appreciate the—no, we appreciate everything which
you have put into the tree for us. Yours very truly, Jeremy Atticus Finch.”
“He won’t know who you are if you sign it like that, Jem.”
Jem erased his name and wrote, “Jem Finch.” I signed, “Jean Louise Finch
(Scout),” beneath it. Jem put the note in an envelope.
Next morning on the way to school he ran ahead of me and stopped at the tree.
Jem was facing me when he looked up, and I saw him go stark white.
“Scout!”
I ran to him.
Someone had filled our knot-hole with cement.
“Don’t you cry, now, Scout . . . don’t cry now, don’t you worry—” he
muttered at me all the way to school.
When we went home for dinner Jem bolted his food, ran to the porch and
stood on the steps. I followed him. “Hasn’t passed by yet,” he said.
Next day Jem repeated his vigil and was rewarded.
“Hidy do, Mr. Nathan,” he said.
“Morning Jem, Scout,” said Mr. Radley, as he went by.
“Mr. Radley,” said Jem.
Mr. Radley turned around.
“Mr. Radley, ah—did you put cement in that hole in that tree down yonder?”
“Yes,” he said. “I filled it up.”
“Why’d you do it, sir?”
“Tree’s dying. You plug ‘em with cement when they’re sick. You ought to
know that, Jem.”
Jem said nothing more about it until late afternoon. When we passed our tree
he gave it a meditative pat on its cement, and remained deep in thought. He
seemed to be working himself into a bad humor, so I kept my distance.
As usual, we met Atticus coming home from work that evening. When we
were at our steps Jem said, “Atticus, look down yonder at that tree, please sir.”
“What tree, son?”
“The one on the corner of the Radley lot comin‘ from school.”
“Yes?”
“Is that tree dyin‘?”
“Why no, son, I don’t think so. Look at the leaves, they’re all green and full,
no brown patches anywhere—”
“It ain’t even sick?”
“That tree’s as healthy as you are, Jem. Why?”
“Mr. Nathan Radley said it was dyin‘.”
“Well maybe it is. I’m sure Mr. Radley knows more about his trees than we
do.”
Atticus left us on the porch. Jem leaned on a pillar, rubbing his shoulders
against it.
“Do you itch, Jem?” I asked as politely as I could. He did not answer. “Come
on in, Jem,” I said.
“After while.”
He stood there until nightfall, and I waited for him. When we went in the
house I saw he had been crying; his face was dirty in the right places, but I
thought it odd that I had not heard him.
8
F
or reasons unfathomable to the most experienced prophets in Maycomb
County, autumn turned to winter that year. We had two weeks of the coldest
weather since 1885, Atticus said. Mr. Avery said it was written on the Rosetta
Stone that when children disobeyed their parents, smoked cigarettes and made
war on each other, the seasons would change: Jem and I were burdened with the
guilt of contributing to the aberrations of nature, thereby causing unhappiness to
our neighbors and discomfort to ourselves.
Old Mrs. Radley died that winter, but her death caused hardly a ripple—the
neighborhood seldom saw her, except when she watered her cannas. Jem and I
decided that Boo had got her at last, but when Atticus returned from the Radley
house he said she died of natural causes, to our disappointment.
“Ask him,” Jem whispered.
“You ask him, you’re the oldest.”
“That’s why you oughta ask him.”
“Atticus,” I said, “did you see Mr. Arthur?”
Atticus looked sternly around his newspaper at me: “I did not.”
Jem restrained me from further questions. He said Atticus was still touchous
about us and the Radleys and it wouldn’t do to push him any. Jem had a notion
that Atticus thought our activities that night last summer were not solely
confined to strip poker. Jem had no firm basis for his ideas, he said it was merely
a twitch.
Next morning I awoke, looked out the window and nearly died of fright. My
screams brought Atticus from his bathroom half-shaven.
“The world’s endin‘, Atticus! Please do something—!” I dragged him to the
window and pointed.
“No it’s not,” he said. “It’s snowing.”
Jem asked Atticus would it keep up. Jem had never seen snow either, but he
knew what it was. Atticus said he didn’t know any more about snow than Jem
did. “I think, though, if it’s watery like that, it’ll turn to rain.”
The telephone rang and Atticus left the breakfast table to answer it. “That was
Eula May,” he said when he returned. “I quote—‘As it has not snowed in
Maycomb County since 1885, there will be no school today.’”
Eula May was Maycomb’s leading telephone operator. She was entrusted with
issuing public announcements, wedding invitations, setting off the fire siren, and
giving first-aid instructions when Dr. Reynolds was away.
When Atticus finally called us to order and bade us look at our plates instead
of out the windows, Jem asked, “How do you make a snowman?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea,” said Atticus. “I don’t want you all to be
disappointed, but I doubt if there’ll be enough snow for a snowball, even.”
Calpurnia came in and said she thought it was sticking. When we ran to the
back yard, it was covered with a feeble layer of soggy snow.
“We shouldn’t walk about in it,” said Jem. “Look, every step you take’s
wasting it.”
I looked back at my mushy footprints. Jem said if we waited until it snowed
some more we could scrape it all up for a snowman. I stuck out my tongue and
caught a fat flake. It burned.
“Jem, it’s hot!”
“No it ain’t, it’s so cold it burns. Now don’t eat it, Scout, you’re wasting it.
Let it come down.”
“But I want to walk in it.”
“I know what, we can go walk over at Miss Maudie’s.”
Jem hopped across the front yard. I followed in his tracks. When we were on
the sidewalk in front of Miss Maudie’s, Mr. Avery accosted us. He had a pink
face and a big stomach below his belt.
“See what you’ve done?” he said. “Hasn’t snowed in Maycomb since
Appomattox. It’s bad children like you makes the seasons change.”
I wondered if Mr. Avery knew how hopefully we had watched last summer
for him to repeat his performance, and reflected that if this was our reward, there
was something to say for sin. I did not wonder where Mr. Avery gathered his
meteorological statistics: they came straight from the Rosetta Stone.
“Jem Finch, you Jem Finch!”
“Miss Maudie’s callin‘ you, Jem.”
“You all stay in the middle of the yard. There’s some thrift buried under the
snow near the porch. Don’t step on it!”
“Yessum!” called Jem. “It’s beautiful, ain’t it, Miss Maudie?”
“Beautiful my hind foot! If it freezes tonight it’ll carry off all my azaleas!”
Miss Maudie’s old sunhat glistened with snow crystals. She was bending over
some small bushes, wrapping them in burlap bags. Jem asked her what she was
doing that for.
“Keep ‘em warm,” she said.
“How can flowers keep warm? They don’t circulate.”
“I cannot answer that question, Jem Finch. All I know is if it freezes tonight
these plants’ll freeze, so you cover ‘em up. Is that clear?”
“Yessum. Miss Maudie?”
“What, sir?”
“Could Scout and me borrow some of your snow?”
“Heavens alive, take it all! There’s an old peach basket under the house, haul
it off in that.” Miss Maudie’s eyes narrowed. “Jem Finch, what are you going to
do with my snow?”
“You’ll see,” said Jem, and we transferred as much snow as we could from
Miss Maudie’s yard to ours, a slushy operation.
“What are we gonna do, Jem?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” he said. “Now get the basket and haul all the snow you can rake
up from the back yard to the front. Walk back in your tracks, though,” he
cautioned.
“Are we gonna have a snow baby, Jem?”
“No, a real snowman. Gotta work hard, now.”
Jem ran to the back yard, produced the garden hoe and began digging quickly
behind the woodpile, placing any worms he found to one side. He went in the
house, returned with the laundry hamper, filled it with earth and carried it to the
front yard.
When we had five baskets of earth and two baskets of snow, Jem said we were
ready to begin.
“Don’t you think this is kind of a mess?” I asked.
“Looks messy now, but it won’t later,” he said.
Jem scooped up an armful of dirt, patted it into a mound on which he added
another load, and another until he had constructed a torso.
“Jem, I ain’t ever heard of a nigger snowman,” I said.
“He won’t be black long,” he grunted.
Jem procured some peachtree switches from the back yard, plaited them, and
bent them into bones to be covered with dirt.
“He looks like Stephanie Crawford with her hands on her hips,” I said. “Fat in
the middle and little-bitty arms.”
“I’ll make ‘em bigger.” Jem sloshed water over the mud man and added more
dirt. He looked thoughtfully at it for a moment, then he molded a big stomach
below the figure’s waistline. Jem glanced at me, his eyes twinkling: “Mr.
Avery’s sort of shaped like a snowman, ain’t he?”
Jem scooped up some snow and began plastering it on. He permitted me to
cover only the back, saving the public parts for himself. Gradually Mr. Avery
turned white.
Using bits of wood for eyes, nose, mouth, and buttons, Jem succeeded in
making Mr. Avery look cross. A stick of stovewood completed the picture. Jem
stepped back and viewed his creation.
“It’s lovely, Jem,” I said. “Looks almost like he’d talk to you.”
“It is, ain’t it?” he said shyly.
We could not wait for Atticus to come home for dinner, but called and said we
had a big surprise for him. He seemed surprised when he saw most of the back
yard in the front yard, but he said we had done a jim-dandy job. “I didn’t know
how you were going to do it,” he said to Jem, “but from now on I’ll never worry
about what’ll become of you, son, you’ll always have an idea.”
Jem’s ears reddened from Atticus’s compliment, but he looked up sharply
when he saw Atticus stepping back. Atticus squinted at the snowman a while. He
grinned, then laughed. “Son, I can’t tell what you’re going to be—an engineer, a
lawyer, or a portrait painter. You’ve perpetrated a near libel here in the front
yard. We’ve got to disguise this fellow.”
Atticus suggested that Jem hone down his creation’s front a little, swap a
broom for the stovewood, and put an apron on him.
Jem explained that if he did, the snowman would become muddy and cease to
be a snowman.
“I don’t care what you do, so long as you do something,” said Atticus. “You
can’t go around making caricatures of the neighbors.”
“Ain’t a characterture,” said Jem. “It looks just like him.”
“Mr. Avery might not think so.”
“I know what!” said Jem. He raced across the street, disappeared into Miss
Maudie’s back yard and returned triumphant. He stuck her sunhat on the
snowman’s head and jammed her hedge-clippers into the crook of his arm.
Atticus said that would be fine.
Miss Maudie opened her front door and came out on the porch. She looked
across the street at us. Suddenly she grinned. “Jem Finch,” she called. “You
devil, bring me back my hat, sir!”
Jem looked up at Atticus, who shook his head. “She’s just fussing,” he said.
“She’s really impressed with your—accomplishments.”
Atticus strolled over to Miss Maudie’s sidewalk, where they engaged in an
arm-waving conversation, the only phrase of which I caught was “. . . erected an
absolute morphodite in that yard! Atticus, you’ll never raise ‘em!”
The snow stopped in the afternoon, the temperature dropped, and by nightfall
Mr. Avery’s direst predictions came true: Calpurnia kept every fireplace in the
house blazing, but we were cold. When Atticus came home that evening he said
we were in for it, and asked Calpurnia if she wanted to stay with us for the night.
Calpurnia glanced up at the high ceilings and long windows and said she thought
she’d be warmer at her house. Atticus drove her home in the car.
Before I went to sleep Atticus put more coal on the fire in my room. He said
the thermometer registered sixteen, that it was the coldest night in his memory,
and that our snowman outside was frozen solid.
Minutes later, it seemed, I was awakened by someone shaking me. Atticus’s
overcoat was spread across me. “Is it morning already?”
“Baby, get up.”
Atticus was holding out my bathrobe and coat. “Put your robe on first,” he
said.
Jem was standing beside Atticus, groggy and tousled. He was holding his
overcoat closed at the neck, his other hand was jammed into his pocket. He
looked strangely overweight.
“Hurry, hon,” said Atticus. “Here’re your shoes and socks.”
Stupidly, I put them on. “Is it morning?”
“No, it’s a little after one. Hurry now.”
That something was wrong finally got through to me. “What’s the matter?”
By then he did not have to tell me. Just as the birds know where to go when it
rains, I knew when there was trouble in our street. Soft taffeta-like sounds and
muffled scurrying sounds filled me with helpless dread.
“Whose is it?”
“Miss Maudie’s, hon,” said Atticus gently.
At the front door, we saw fire spewing from Miss Maudie’s diningroom
windows. As if to confirm what we saw, the town fire siren wailed up the scale
to a treble pitch and remained there, screaming.
“It’s gone, ain’t it?” moaned Jem.
“I expect so,” said Atticus. “Now listen, both of you. Go down and stand in
front of the Radley Place. Keep out of the way, do you hear? See which way the
wind’s blowing?”
“Oh,” said Jem. “Atticus, reckon we oughta start moving the furniture out?”
“Not yet, son. Do as I tell you. Run now. Take care of Scout, you hear? Don’t
let her out of your sight.”
With a push, Atticus started us toward the Radley front gate. We stood
watching the street fill with men and cars while fire silently devoured Miss
Maudie’s house. “Why don’t they hurry, why don’t they hurry . . .” muttered
Jem.
We saw why. The old fire truck, killed by the cold, was being pushed from
town by a crowd of men. When the men attached its hose to a hydrant, the hose
burst and water shot up, tinkling down on the pavement.
“Oh-h Lord, Jem . . .”
Jem put his arm around me. “Hush, Scout,” he said. “It ain’t time to worry yet.
I’ll let you know when.”
The men of Maycomb, in all degrees of dress and undress, took furniture from
Miss Maudie’s house to a yard across the street. I saw Atticus carrying Miss
Maudie’s heavy oak rocking chair, and thought it sensible of him to save what
she valued most.
Sometimes we heard shouts. Then Mr. Avery’s face appeared in an upstairs
window. He pushed a mattress out the window into the street and threw down
furniture until men shouted, “Come down from there, Dick! The stairs are going!
Get outta there, Mr. Avery!”
Mr. Avery began climbing through the window.
“Scout, he’s stuck . . .” breathed Jem. “Oh God . . .”
Mr. Avery was wedged tightly. I buried my head under Jem’s arm and didn’t
look again until Jem cried, “He’s got loose, Scout! He’s all right!”
I looked up to see Mr. Avery cross the upstairs porch. He swung his legs over
the railing and was sliding down a pillar when he slipped. He fell, yelled, and hit
Miss Maudie’s shrubbery.
Suddenly I noticed that the men were backing away from Miss Maudie’s
house, moving down the street toward us. They were no longer carrying
furniture. The fire was well into the second floor and had eaten its way to the
roof: window frames were black against a vivid orange center.
“Jem, it looks like a pumpkin—”
“Scout, look!”
Smoke was rolling off our house and Miss Rachel’s house like fog off a
riverbank, and men were pulling hoses toward them. Behind us, the fire truck
from Abbottsville screamed around the curve and stopped in front of our house.
“That book . . .” I said.
“What?” said Jem.
“That Tom Swift book, it ain’t mine, it’s Dill’s . . .”
“Don’t worry, Scout, it ain’t time to worry yet,” said Jem. He pointed. “Looka
yonder.”
In a group of neighbors, Atticus was standing with his hands in his overcoat
pockets. He might have been watching a football game. Miss Maudie was beside
him.
“See there, he’s not worried yet,” said Jem.
“Why ain’t he on top of one of the houses?”
“He’s too old, he’d break his neck.”
“You think we oughta make him get our stuff out?”
“Let’s don’t pester him, he’ll know when it’s time,” said Jem.
The Abbottsville fire truck began pumping water on our house; a man on the
roof pointed to places that needed it most. I watched our Absolute Morphodite
go black and crumble; Miss Maudie’s sunhat settled on top of the heap. I could
not see her hedge-clippers. In the heat between our house, Miss Rachel’s and
Miss Maudie’s, the men had long ago shed coats and bathrobes. They worked in
pajama tops and nightshirts stuffed into their pants, but I became aware that I
was slowly freezing where I stood. Jem tried to keep me warm, but his arm was
not enough. I pulled free of it and clutched my shoulders. By dancing a little, I
could feel my feet.
Another fire truck appeared and stopped in front of Miss Stephanie
Crawford’s. There was no hydrant for another hose, and the men tried to soak
her house with hand extinguishers.
Miss Maudie’s tin roof quelled the flames. Roaring, the house collapsed; fire
gushed everywhere, followed by a flurry of blankets from men on top of the
adjacent houses, beating out sparks and burning chunks of wood.
It was dawn before the men began to leave, first one by one, then in groups.
They pushed the Maycomb fire truck back to town, the Abbottsville truck
departed, the third one remained. We found out next day it had come from
Clark’s Ferry, sixty miles away.
Jem and I slid across the street. Miss Maudie was staring at the smoking black
hole in her yard, and Atticus shook his head to tell us she did not want to talk.
He led us home, holding onto our shoulders to cross the icy street. He said Miss
Maudie would stay with Miss Stephanie for the time being.
“Anybody want some hot chocolate?” he asked. I shuddered when Atticus
started a fire in the kitchen stove.
As we drank our cocoa I noticed Atticus looking at me, first with curiosity,
then with sternness. “I thought I told you and Jem to stay put,” he said.
“Why, we did. We stayed—”
“Then whose blanket is that?”
“Blanket?”
“Yes ma’am, blanket. It isn’t ours.”
I looked down and found myself clutching a brown woolen blanket I was
wearing around my shoulders, squaw-fashion.
“Atticus, I don’t know, sir . . . I—”
I turned to Jem for an answer, but Jem was even more bewildered than I. He
said he didn’t know how it got there, we did exactly as Atticus had told us, we
stood down by the Radley gate away from everybody, we didn’t move an inch—
Jem stopped.
“Mr. Nathan was at the fire,” he babbled, “I saw him, I saw him, he was
tuggin‘ that mattress—Atticus, I swear . . .”
“That’s all right, son.” Atticus grinned slowly. “Looks like all of Maycomb
was out tonight, in one way or another. Jem, there’s some wrapping paper in the
pantry, I think. Go get it and we’ll—”
“Atticus, no sir!”
Jem seemed to have lost his mind. He began pouring out our secrets right and
left in total disregard for my safety if not for his own, omitting nothing, knot-
hole, pants and all.
“. . . Mr. Nathan put cement in that tree, Atticus, an‘ he did it to stop us findin’
things—he’s crazy, I reckon, like they say, but Atticus, I swear to God he ain’t
ever harmed us, he ain’t ever hurt us, he coulda cut my throat from ear to ear that
night but he tried to mend my pants instead . . . he ain’t ever hurt us, Atticus—”
Atticus said, “Whoa, son,” so gently that I was greatly heartened. It was
obvious that he had not followed a word Jem said, for all Atticus said was,
“You’re right. We’d better keep this and the blanket to ourselves. Someday,
maybe, Scout can thank him for covering her up.”
“Thank who?” I asked.
“Boo Radley. You were so busy looking at the fire you didn’t know it when
he put the blanket around you.”
My stomach turned to water and I nearly threw up when Jem held out the
blanket and crept toward me. “He sneaked out of the house—turn ‘round—
sneaked up, an’ went like this!”
Atticus said dryly, “Do not let this inspire you to further glory, Jeremy.”
Jem scowled, “I ain’t gonna do anything to him,” but I watched the spark of
fresh adventure leave his eyes. “Just think, Scout,” he said, “if you’d just turned
around, you’da seen him.”
Calpurnia woke us at noon. Atticus had said we need not go to school that
day, we’d learn nothing after no sleep. Calpurnia said for us to try and clean up
the front yard.
Miss Maudie’s sunhat was suspended in a thin layer of ice, like a fly in amber,
and we had to dig under the dirt for her hedge-clippers. We found her in her
back yard, gazing at her frozen charred azaleas. “We’re bringing back your
things, Miss Maudie,” said Jem. “We’re awful sorry.”
Miss Maudie looked around, and the shadow of her old grin crossed her face.
“Always wanted a smaller house, Jem Finch. Gives me more yard. Just think, I’ll
have more room for my azaleas now!”
“You ain’t grievin‘, Miss Maudie?” I asked, surprised. Atticus said her house
was nearly all she had.
“Grieving, child? Why, I hated that old cow barn. Thought of settin‘ fire to it a
hundred times myself, except they’d lock me up.”
“But—”
“Don’t you worry about me, Jean Louise Finch. There are ways of doing
things you don’t know about. Why, I’ll build me a little house and take me a
couple of roomers and—gracious, I’ll have the finest yard in Alabama. Those
Bellingraths’ll look plain puny when I get started!”
Jem and I looked at each other. “How’d it catch, Miss Maudie?” he asked.
“I don’t know, Jem. Probably the flue in the kitchen. I kept a fire in there last
night for my potted plants. Hear you had some unexpected company last night,
Miss Jean Louise.”
“How’d you know?”
“Atticus told me on his way to town this morning. Tell you the truth, I’d like
to’ve been with you. And I’d‘ve had sense enough to turn around, too.”
Miss Maudie puzzled me. With most of her possessions gone and her beloved
yard a shambles, she still took a lively and cordial interest in Jem’s and my
affairs.
She must have seen my perplexity. She said, “Only thing I worried about last
night was all the danger and commotion it caused. This whole neighborhood
could have gone up. Mr. Avery’ll be in bed for a week—he’s right stove up.
He’s too old to do things like that and I told him so. Soon as I can get my hands
clean and when Stephanie Crawford’s not looking, I’ll make him a Lane cake.
That Stephanie’s been after my recipe for thirty years, and if she thinks I’ll give
it to her just because I’m staying with her she’s got another think coming.”
I reflected that if Miss Maudie broke down and gave it to her, Miss Stephanie
couldn’t follow it anyway. Miss Maudie had once let me see it: among other
things, the recipe called for one large cup of sugar.
It was a still day. The air was so cold and clear we heard the courthouse clock
clank, rattle and strain before it struck the hour. Miss Maudie’s nose was a color
I had never seen before, and I inquired about it.
“I’ve been out here since six o’clock,” she said. “Should be frozen by now.”
She held up her hands. A network of tiny lines crisscrossed her palms, brown
with dirt and dried blood.
“You’ve ruined ‘em,” said Jem. “Why don’t you get a colored man?” There
was no note of sacrifice in his voice when he added, “Or Scout’n’me, we can
help you.”
Miss Maudie said, “Thank you sir, but you’ve got a job of your own over
there.” She pointed to our yard.
“You mean the Morphodite?” I asked. “Shoot, we can rake him up in a jiffy.”
Miss Maudie stared down at me, her lips moving silently. Suddenly she put
her hands to her head and whooped. When we left her, she was still chuckling.
Jem said he didn’t know what was the matter with her—that was just Miss
Maudie.
9
“Y
ou can just take that back, boy!”
This order, given by me to Cecil Jacobs, was the beginning of a rather thin
time for Jem and me. My fists were clenched and I was ready to let fly. Atticus
had promised me he would wear me out if he ever heard of me fighting any
more; I was far too old and too big for such childish things, and the sooner I
learned to hold in, the better off everybody would be. I soon forgot.
Cecil Jacobs made me forget. He had announced in the schoolyard the day
before that Scout Finch’s daddy defended niggers. I denied it, but told Jem.
“What’d he mean sayin‘ that?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Jem said. “Ask Atticus, he’ll tell you.”
“Do you defend niggers, Atticus?” I asked him that evening.
“Of course I do. Don’t say nigger, Scout. That’s common.”
“‘s what everybody at school says.”
“From now on it’ll be everybody less one—”
“Well if you don’t want me to grow up talkin‘ that way, why do you send me
to school?”
My father looked at me mildly, amusement in his eyes. Despite our
compromise, my campaign to avoid school had continued in one form or another
since my first day’s dose of it: the beginning of last September had brought on
sinking spells, dizziness, and mild gastric complaints. I went so far as to pay a
nickel for the privilege of rubbing my head against the head of Miss Rachel’s
cook’s son, who was afflicted with a tremendous ringworm. It didn’t take.
But I was worrying another bone. “Do all lawyers defend n-Negroes,
Atticus?”
“Of course they do, Scout.”
“Then why did Cecil say you defended niggers? He made it sound like you
were runnin‘ a still.”
Atticus sighed. “I’m simply defending a Negro—his name’s Tom Robinson.
He lives in that little settlement beyond the town dump. He’s a member of
Calpurnia’s church, and Cal knows his family well. She says they’re clean-living
folks. Scout, you aren’t old enough to understand some things yet, but there’s
been some high talk around town to the effect that I shouldn’t do much about
defending this man. It’s a peculiar case—it won’t come to trial until summer
session. John Taylor was kind enough to give us a postponement . . .”
“If you shouldn’t be defendin‘ him, then why are you doin’ it?”
“For a number of reasons,” said Atticus. “The main one is, if I didn’t I
couldn’t hold up my head in town, I couldn’t represent this county in the
legislature, I couldn’t even tell you or Jem not to do something again.”
“You mean if you didn’t defend that man, Jem and me wouldn’t have to mind
you any more?”
“That’s about right.”
“Why?”
“Because I could never ask you to mind me again. Scout, simply by the nature
of the work, every lawyer gets at least one case in his lifetime that affects him
personally. This one’s mine, I guess. You might hear some ugly talk about it at
school, but do one thing for me if you will: you just hold your head high and
keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don’t you let ‘em
get your goat. Try fighting with your head for a change . . . it’s a good one, even
if it does resist learning.”
“Atticus, are we going to win it?”
“No, honey.”
“Then why—”
“Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no
reason for us not to try to win,” Atticus said.
“You sound like Cousin Ike Finch,” I said. Cousin Ike Finch was Maycomb
County’s sole surviving Confederate veteran. He wore a General Hood type
beard of which he was inordinately vain. At least once a year Atticus, Jem and I
called on him, and I would have to kiss him. It was horrible. Jem and I would
listen respectfully to Atticus and Cousin Ike rehash the war. “Tell you, Atticus,”
Cousin Ike would say, “the Missouri Compromise was what licked us, but if I
had to go through it agin I’d walk every step of the way there an‘ every step
back jist like I did before an’ furthermore we’d whip ‘em this time . . . now in
1864, when Stonewall Jackson came around by—I beg your pardon, young
folks. Ol’ Blue Light was in heaven then, God rest his saintly brow . . .”
“Come here, Scout,” said Atticus. I crawled into his lap and tucked my head
under his chin. He put his arms around me and rocked me gently. “It’s different
this time,” he said. “This time we aren’t fighting the Yankees, we’re fighting our
friends. But remember this, no matter how bitter things get, they’re still our
friends and this is still our home.”
With this in mind, I faced Cecil Jacobs in the schoolyard next day: “You
gonna take that back, boy?”
“You gotta make me first!” he yelled. “My folks said your daddy was a
disgrace an‘ that nigger oughta hang from the water-tank!”
I drew a bead on him, remembered what Atticus had said, then dropped my
fists and walked away, “Scout’s a cow—ward!” ringing in my ears. It was the
first time I ever walked away from a fight.
Somehow, if I fought Cecil I would let Atticus down. Atticus so rarely asked
Jem and me to do something for him, I could take being called a coward for him.
I felt extremely noble for having remembered, and remained noble for three
weeks. Then Christmas came and disaster struck.
Jem and I viewed Christmas with mixed feelings. The good side was the tree and
Uncle Jack Finch. Every Christmas Eve day we met Uncle Jack at Maycomb
Junction, and he would spend a week with us.
A flip of the coin revealed the uncompromising lineaments of Aunt Alexandra
and Francis.
I suppose I should include Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Alexandra’s husband, but as he
never spoke a word to me in my life except to say, “Get off the fence,” once, I
never saw any reason to take notice of him. Neither did Aunt Alexandra. Long
ago, in a burst of friendliness, Aunty and Uncle Jimmy produced a son named
Henry, who left home as soon as was humanly possible, married, and produced
Francis. Henry and his wife deposited Francis at his grandparents’ every
Christmas, then pursued their own pleasures.
No amount of sighing could induce Atticus to let us spend Christmas day at
home. We went to Finch’s Landing every Christmas in my memory. The fact
that Aunty was a good cook was some compensation for being forced to spend a
religious holiday with Francis Hancock. He was a year older than I, and I
avoided him on principle: he enjoyed everything I disapproved of, and disliked
my ingenuous diversions.
Aunt Alexandra was Atticus’s sister, but when Jem told me about changelings
and siblings, I decided that she had been swapped at birth, that my grandparents
had perhaps received a Crawford instead of a Finch. Had I ever harbored the
mystical notions about mountains that seem to obsess lawyers and judges, Aunt
Alexandra would have been analogous to Mount Everest: throughout my early
life, she was cold and there.
When Uncle Jack jumped down from the train Christmas Eve day, we had to
wait for the porter to hand him two long packages. Jem and I always thought it
funny when Uncle Jack pecked Atticus on the cheek; they were the only two
men we ever saw kiss each other. Uncle Jack shook hands with Jem and swung
me high, but not high enough: Uncle Jack was a head shorter than Atticus; the
baby of the family, he was younger than Aunt Alexandra. He and Aunty looked
alike, but Uncle Jack made better use of his face: we were never wary of his
sharp nose and chin.
He was one of the few men of science who never terrified me, probably
because he never behaved like a doctor. Whenever he performed a minor service
for Jem and me, as removing a splinter from a foot, he would tell us exactly what
he was going to do, give us an estimation of how much it would hurt, and
explain the use of any tongs he employed. One Christmas I lurked in corners
nursing a twisted splinter in my foot, permitting no one to come near me. When
Uncle Jack caught me, he kept me laughing about a preacher who hated going to
church so much that every day he stood at his gate in his dressing-gown,
smoking a hookah and delivering five-minute sermons to any passers-by who
desired spiritual comfort. I interrupted to make Uncle Jack let me know when he
would pull it out, but he held up a bloody splinter in a pair of tweezers and said
he yanked it while I was laughing, that was what was known as relativity.
“What’s in those packages?” I asked him, pointing to the long thin parcels the
porter had given him.
“None of your business,” he said.
Jem said, “How’s Rose Aylmer?”
Rose Aylmer was Uncle Jack’s cat. She was a beautiful yellow female Uncle
Jack said was one of the few women he could stand permanently. He reached
into his coat pocket and brought out some snapshots. We admired them.
“She’s gettin‘ fat,” I said.
“I should think so. She eats all the leftover fingers and ears from the hospital.”
“Aw, that’s a damn story,” I said.
“I beg your pardon?”
Atticus said, “Don’t pay any attention to her, Jack. She’s trying you out. Cal
says she’s been cussing fluently for a week, now.” Uncle Jack raised his
eyebrows and said nothing. I was proceeding on the dim theory, aside from the
innate attractiveness of such words, that if Atticus discovered I had picked them
up at school he wouldn’t make me go.
But at supper that evening when I asked him to pass the damn ham, please,
Uncle Jack pointed at me. “See me afterwards, young lady,” he said.
When supper was over, Uncle Jack went to the livingroom and sat down. He
slapped his thighs for me to come sit on his lap. I liked to smell him: he was like
a bottle of alcohol and something pleasantly sweet. He pushed back my bangs
and looked at me. “You’re more like Atticus than your mother,” he said. “You’re
also growing out of your pants a little.”
“I reckon they fit all right.”
“You like words like damn and hell now, don’t you?”
I said I reckoned so.
“Well I don’t,” said Uncle Jack, “not unless there’s extreme provocation
connected with ‘em. I’ll be here a week, and I don’t want to hear any words like
that while I’m here. Scout, you’ll get in trouble if you go around saying things
like that. You want to grow up to be a lady, don’t you?”
I said not particularly.
“Of course you do. Now let’s get to the tree.”
We decorated the tree until bedtime, and that night I dreamed of the two long
packages for Jem and me. Next morning Jem and I dived for them: they were
from Atticus, who had written Uncle Jack to get them for us, and they were what
we had asked for.
“Don’t point them in the house,” said Atticus, when Jem aimed at a picture on
the wall.
“You’ll have to teach ‘em to shoot,” said Uncle Jack.
“That’s your job,” said Atticus. “I merely bowed to the inevitable.”
It took Atticus’s courtroom voice to drag us away from the tree. He declined
to let us take our air rifles to the Landing (I had already begun to think of
shooting Francis) and said if we made one false move he’d take them away from
us for good.
Finch’s Landing consisted of three hundred and sixty-six steps down a high
bluff and ending in a jetty. Farther down stream, beyond the bluff, were traces of
an old cotton landing, where Finch Negroes had loaded bales and produce,
unloaded blocks of ice, flour and sugar, farm equipment, and feminine apparel.
A two-rut road ran from the riverside and vanished among dark trees. At the end
of the road was a two-storied white house with porches circling it upstairs and
downstairs. In his old age, our ancestor Simon Finch had built it to please his
nagging wife; but with the porches all resemblance to ordinary houses of its era
ended. The internal arrangements of the Finch house were indicative of Simon’s
guilelessness and the absolute trust with which he regarded his offspring.
There were six bedrooms upstairs, four for the eight female children, one for
Welcome Finch, the sole son, and one for visiting relatives. Simple enough; but
the daughters’ rooms could be reached only by one staircase, Welcome’s room
and the guestroom only by another. The Daughters’ Staircase was in the ground-
floor bedroom of their parents, so Simon always knew the hours of his
daughters’ nocturnal comings and goings.
There was a kitchen separate from the rest of the house, tacked onto it by a
wooden catwalk; in the back yard was a rusty bell on a pole, used to summon
field hands or as a distress signal; a widow’s walk was on the roof, but no
widows walked there—from it, Simon oversaw his overseer, watched the river-
boats, and gazed into the lives of surrounding landholders.
There went with the house the usual legend about the Yankees: one Finch
female, recently engaged, donned her complete trousseau to save it from raiders
in the neighborhood; she became stuck in the door to the Daughters’ Staircase
but was doused with water and finally pushed through. When we arrived at the
Landing, Aunt Alexandra kissed Uncle Jack, Francis kissed Uncle Jack, Uncle
Jimmy shook hands silently with Uncle Jack, Jem and I gave our presents to
Francis, who gave us a present. Jem felt his age and gravitated to the adults,
leaving me to entertain our cousin. Francis was eight and slicked back his hair.
“What’d you get for Christmas?” I asked politely.
“Just what I asked for,” he said. Francis had requested a pair of knee-pants, a
red leather booksack, five shirts and an untied bow tie.
“That’s nice,” I lied. “Jem and me got air rifles, and Jem got a chemistry set
—”
“A toy one, I reckon.”
“No, a real one. He’s gonna make me some invisible ink, and I’m gonna write
to Dill in it.”
Francis asked what was the use of that.
“Well, can’t you just see his face when he gets a letter from me with nothing
in it? It’ll drive him nuts.”
Talking to Francis gave me the sensation of settling slowly to the bottom of
the ocean. He was the most boring child I ever met. As he lived in Mobile, he
could not inform on me to school authorities, but he managed to tell everything
he knew to Aunt Alexandra, who in turn unburdened herself to Atticus, who
either forgot it or gave me hell, whichever struck his fancy. But the only time I
ever heard Atticus speak sharply to anyone was when I once heard him say,
“Sister, I do the best I can with them!” It had something to do with my going
around in overalls.
Aunt Alexandra was fanatical on the subject of my attire. I could not possibly
hope to be a lady if I wore breeches; when I said I could do nothing in a dress,
she said I wasn’t supposed to be doing things that required pants. Aunt
Alexandra’s vision of my deportment involved playing with small stoves, tea
sets, and wearing the Add-A-Pearl necklace she gave me when I was born;
furthermore, I should be a ray of sunshine in my father’s lonely life. I suggested
that one could be a ray of sunshine in pants just as well, but Aunty said that one
had to behave like a sunbeam, that I was born good but had grown progressively
worse every year. She hurt my feelings and set my teeth permanently on edge,
but when I asked Atticus about it, he said there were already enough sunbeams
in the family and to go on about my business, he didn’t mind me much the way I
was.
At Christmas dinner, I sat at the little table in the diningroom; Jem and Francis
sat with the adults at the dining table. Aunty had continued to isolate me long
after Jem and Francis graduated to the big table. I often wondered what she
thought I’d do, get up and throw something? I sometimes thought of asking her
if she would let me sit at the big table with the rest of them just once, I would
prove to her how civilized I could be; after all, I ate at home every day with no
major mishaps. When I begged Atticus to use his influence, he said he had none
—we were guests, and we sat where she told us to sit. He also said Aunt
Alexandra didn’t understand girls much, she’d never had one.
But her cooking made up for everything: three kinds of meat, summer
vegetables from her pantry shelves; peach pickles, two kinds of cake and
ambrosia constituted a modest Christmas dinner. Afterwards, the adults made for
the livingroom and sat around in a dazed condition. Jem lay on the floor, and I
went to the back yard. “Put on your coat,” said Atticus dreamily, so I didn’t hear
him.
Francis sat beside me on the back steps. “That was the best yet,” I said.
“Grandma’s a wonderful cook,” said Francis. “She’s gonna teach me how.”
“Boys don’t cook.” I giggled at the thought of Jem in an apron.
“Grandma says all men should learn to cook, that men oughta be careful with
their wives and wait on ‘em when they don’t feel good,” said my cousin.
“I don’t want Dill waitin‘ on me,” I said. “I’d rather wait on him.”
“Dill?”
“Yeah. Don’t say anything about it yet, but we’re gonna get married as soon
as we’re big enough. He asked me last summer.”
Francis hooted.
“What’s the matter with him?” I asked. “Ain’t anything the matter with him.”
“You mean that little runt Grandma says stays with Miss Rachel every
summer?”
“That’s exactly who I mean.”
“I know all about him,” said Francis.
“What about him?”
“Grandma says he hasn’t got a home—”
“Has too, he lives in Meridian.”
“—he just gets passed around from relative to relative, and Miss Rachel keeps
him every summer.”
“Francis, that’s not so!”
Francis grinned at me. “You’re mighty dumb sometimes, Jean Louise. Guess
you don’t know any better, though.”
“What do you mean?”
“If Uncle Atticus lets you run around with stray dogs, that’s his own business,
like Grandma says, so it ain’t your fault. I guess it ain’t your fault if Uncle
Atticus is a nigger-lover besides, but I’m here to tell you it certainly does
mortify the rest of the family—”
“Francis, what the hell do you mean?”
“Just what I said. Grandma says it’s bad enough he lets you all run wild, but
now he’s turned out a nigger-lover we’ll never be able to walk the streets of
Maycomb agin. He’s ruinin‘ the family, that’s what he’s doin’.”
Francis rose and sprinted down the catwalk to the old kitchen. At a safe
distance he called, “He’s nothin‘ but a nigger-lover!”
“He is not!” I roared. “I don’t know what you’re talkin‘ about, but you better
cut it out this red hot minute!”
I leaped off the steps and ran down the catwalk. It was easy to collar Francis. I
said take it back quick.
Francis jerked loose and sped into the old kitchen. “Nigger-lover!” he yelled.
When stalking one’s prey, it is best to take one’s time. Say nothing, and as
sure as eggs he will become curious and emerge. Francis appeared at the kitchen
door. “You still mad, Jean Louise?” he asked tentatively.
“Nothing to speak of,” I said.
Francis came out on the catwalk.
“You gonna take it back, Fra—ancis?” But I was too quick on the draw.
Francis shot back into the kitchen, so I retired to the steps. I could wait patiently.
I had sat there perhaps five minutes when I heard Aunt Alexandra speak:
“Where’s Francis?”
“He’s out yonder in the kitchen.”
“He knows he’s not supposed to play in there.”
Francis came to the door and yelled, “Grandma, she’s got me in here and she
won’t let me out!”
“What is all this, Jean Louise?”
I looked up at Aunt Alexandra. “I haven’t got him in there, Aunty, I ain’t
holdin‘ him.”
“Yes she is,” shouted Francis, “she won’t let me out!”
“Have you all been fussing?”
“Jean Louise got mad at me, Grandma,” called Francis.
“Francis, come out of there! Jean Louise, if I hear another word out of you I’ll
tell your father. Did I hear you say hell a while ago?”
“Nome.”
“I thought I did. I’d better not hear it again.”
Aunt Alexandra was a back-porch listener. The moment she was out of sight
Francis came out head up and grinning. “Don’t you fool with me,” he said.
He jumped into the yard and kept his distance, kicking tufts of grass, turning
around occasionally to smile at me. Jem appeared on the porch, looked at us, and
went away. Francis climbed the mimosa tree, came down, put his hands in his
pockets and strolled around the yard. “Hah!” he said. I asked him who he
thought he was, Uncle Jack? Francis said he reckoned I got told, for me to just
sit there and leave him alone.
“I ain’t botherin‘ you,” I said.
Francis looked at me carefully, concluded that I had been sufficiently
subdued, and crooned softly, “Nigger-lover . . .”
This time, I split my knuckle to the bone on his front teeth. My left impaired, I
sailed in with my right, but not for long. Uncle Jack pinned my arms to my sides
and said, “Stand still!”
Aunt Alexandra ministered to Francis, wiping his tears away with her
handkerchief, rubbing his hair, patting his cheek. Atticus, Jem, and Uncle Jimmy
had come to the back porch when Francis started yelling.
“Who started this?” said Uncle Jack.
Francis and I pointed at each other. “Grandma,” he bawled, “she called me a
whore-lady and jumped on me!”
“Is that true, Scout?” said Uncle Jack.
“I reckon so.”
When Uncle Jack looked down at me, his features were like Aunt
Alexandra’s. “You know I told you you’d get in trouble if you used words like
that? I told you, didn’t I?”
“Yes sir, but—”
“Well, you’re in trouble now. Stay there.”
I was debating whether to stand there or run, and tarried in indecision a
moment too long: I turned to flee but Uncle Jack was quicker. I found myself
suddenly looking at a tiny ant struggling with a bread crumb in the grass.
“I’ll never speak to you again as long as I live! I hate you an‘ despise you an’
hope you die tomorrow!” A statement that seemed to encourage Uncle Jack,
more than anything. I ran to Atticus for comfort, but he said I had it coming and
it was high time we went home. I climbed into the back seat of the car without
saying good-bye to anyone, and at home I ran to my room and slammed the
door. Jem tried to say something nice, but I wouldn’t let him.
When I surveyed the damage there were only seven or eight red marks, and I
was reflecting upon relativity when someone knocked on the door. I asked who
it was; Uncle Jack answered.
“Go away!”
Uncle Jack said if I talked like that he’d lick me again, so I was quiet. When
he entered the room I retreated to a corner and turned my back on him. “Scout,”
he said, “do you still hate me?”
“Go on, please sir.”
“Why, I didn’t think you’d hold it against me,” he said. “I’m disappointed in
you—you had that coming and you know it.”
“Didn’t either.”
“Honey, you can’t go around calling people—”
“You ain’t fair,” I said, “you ain’t fair.”
Uncle Jack’s eyebrows went up. “Not fair? How not?”
“You’re real nice, Uncle Jack, an‘ I reckon I love you even after what you did,
but you don’t understand children much.”
Uncle Jack put his hands on his hips and looked down at me. “And why do I
not understand children, Miss Jean Louise? Such conduct as yours required little
understanding. It was obstreperous, disorderly and abusive—”
“You gonna give me a chance to tell you? I don’t mean to sass you, I’m just
tryin‘ to tell you.”
Uncle Jack sat down on the bed. His eyebrows came together, and he peered
up at me from under them. “Proceed,” he said.
I took a deep breath. “Well, in the first place you never stopped to gimme a
chance to tell you my side of it—you just lit right into me. When Jem an‘ I fuss
Atticus doesn’t ever just listen to Jem’s side of it, he hears mine too, an’ in the
second place you told me never to use words like that except in ex-extreme
provocation, and Francis provocated me enough to knock his block off—”
Uncle Jack scratched his head. “What was your side of it, Scout?”
“Francis called Atticus somethin‘, an’ I wasn’t about to take it off him.”
“What did Francis call him?”
“A nigger-lover. I ain’t very sure what it means, but the way Francis said it—
tell you one thing right now, Uncle Jack, I’ll be—I swear before God if I’ll sit
there and let him say somethin‘ about Atticus.”
“He called Atticus that?”
“Yes sir, he did, an‘ a lot more. Said Atticus’d be the ruination of the family
an’ he let Jem an me run wild . . .”
From the look on Uncle Jack’s face, I thought I was in for it again. When he
said, “We’ll see about this,” I knew Francis was in for it. “I’ve a good mind to
go out there tonight.”
“Please sir, just let it go. Please.”
“I’ve no intention of letting it go,” he said. “Alexandra should know about
this. The idea of—wait’ll I get my hands on that boy . . .”
“Uncle Jack, please promise me somethin‘, please sir. Promise you won’t tell
Atticus about this. He—he asked me one time not to let anything I heard about
him make me mad, an’ I’d ruther him think we were fightin‘ about somethin’
else instead. Please promise . . .”
“But I don’t like Francis getting away with something like that—”
“He didn’t. You reckon you could tie up my hand? It’s still bleedin‘ some.”
“Of course I will, baby. I know of no hand I would be more delighted to tie
up. Will you come this way?”
Uncle Jack gallantly bowed me to the bathroom. While he cleaned and
bandaged my knuckles, he entertained me with a tale about a funny nearsighted
old gentleman who had a cat named Hodge, and who counted all the cracks in
the sidewalk when he went to town. “There now,” he said. “You’ll have a very
unladylike scar on your wedding-ring finger.”
“Thank you sir. Uncle Jack?”
“Ma’am?”
“What’s a whore-lady?”
Uncle Jack plunged into another long tale about an old Prime Minister who sat
in the House of Commons and blew feathers in the air and tried to keep them
there when all about him men were losing their heads. I guess he was trying to
answer my question, but he made no sense whatsoever.
Later, when I was supposed to be in bed, I went down the hall for a drink of
water and heard Atticus and Uncle Jack in the livingroom: “I shall never marry,
Atticus.”
“Why?”
“I might have children.”
Atticus said, “You’ve a lot to learn, Jack.”
“I know. Your daughter gave me my first lessons this afternoon. She said I
didn’t understand children much and told me why. She was quite right. Atticus,
she told me how I should have treated her—oh dear, I’m so sorry I romped on
her.”
Atticus chuckled. “She earned it, so don’t feel too remorseful.”
I waited, on tenterhooks, for Uncle Jack to tell Atticus my side of it. But he
didn’t. He simply murmured, “Her use of bathroom invective leaves nothing to
the imagination. But she doesn’t know the meaning of half she says—she asked
me what a whore-lady was . . .”
“Did you tell her?”
“No, I told her about Lord Melbourne.”
“Jack! When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness’ sake. But
don’t make a production of it. Children are children, but they can spot an evasion
quicker than adults, and evasion simply muddles ‘em. No,” my father mused,
“you had the right answer this afternoon, but the wrong reasons. Bad language is
a stage all children go through, and it dies with time when they learn they’re not
attracting attention with it. Hotheadedness isn’t. Scout’s got to learn to keep her
head and learn soon, with what’s in store for her these next few months. She’s
coming along, though. Jem’s getting older and she follows his example a good
bit now. All she needs is assistance sometimes.”
“Atticus, you’ve never laid a hand on her.”
“I admit that. So far I’ve been able to get by with threats. Jack, she minds me
as well as she can. Doesn’t come up to scratch half the time, but she tries.”
“That’s not the answer,” said Uncle Jack.
“No, the answer is she knows I know she tries. That’s what makes the
difference. What bothers me is that she and Jem will have to absorb some ugly
things pretty soon. I’m not worried about Jem keeping his head, but Scout’d just
as soon jump on someone as look at him if her pride’s at stake . . .”
I waited for Uncle Jack to break his promise. He still didn’t.
“Atticus, how bad is this going to be? You haven’t had too much chance to
discuss it.”
“It couldn’t be worse, Jack. The only thing we’ve got is a black man’s word
against the Ewells‘. The evidence boils down to you-did—I-didn’t. The jury
couldn’t possibly be expected to take Tom Robinson’s word against the
Ewells’—are you acquainted with the Ewells?”
Uncle Jack said yes, he remembered them. He described them to Atticus, but
Atticus said, “You’re a generation off. The present ones are the same, though.”
“What are you going to do, then?”
“Before I’m through, I intend to jar the jury a bit—I think we’ll have a
reasonable chance on appeal, though. I really can’t tell at this stage, Jack. You
know, I’d hoped to get through life without a case of this kind, but John Taylor
pointed at me and said, ‘You’re It.’”
“Let this cup pass from you, eh?”
“Right. But do you think I could face my children otherwise? You know
what’s going to happen as well as I do, Jack, and I hope and pray I can get Jem
and Scout through it without bitterness, and most of all, without catching
Maycomb’s usual disease. Why reasonable people go stark raving mad when
anything involving a Negro comes up, is something I don’t pretend to
understand . . . I just hope that Jem and Scout come to me for their answers
instead of listening to the town. I hope they trust me enough . . . Jean Louise?”
My scalp jumped. I stuck my head around the corner. “Sir?”
“Go to bed.”
I scurried to my room and went to bed. Uncle Jack was a prince of a fellow
not to let me down. But I never figured out how Atticus knew I was listening,
and it was not until many years later that I realized he wanted me to hear every
word he said.
10
A
tticus was feeble: he was nearly fifty. When Jem and I asked him why he was
so old, he said he got started late, which we felt reflected upon his abilities and
manliness. He was much older than the parents of our school contemporaries,
and there was nothing Jem or I could say about him when our classmates said,
“My father—”
Jem was football crazy. Atticus was never too tired to play keep-away, but
when Jem wanted to tackle him Atticus would say, “I’m too old for that, son.”
Our father didn’t do anything. He worked in an office, not in a drugstore.
Atticus did not drive a dump-truck for the county, he was not the sheriff, he did
not farm, work in a garage, or do anything that could possibly arouse the
admiration of anyone.
Besides that, he wore glasses. He was nearly blind in his left eye, and said left
eyes were the tribal curse of the Finches. Whenever he wanted to see something
well, he turned his head and looked from his right eye.
He did not do the things our schoolmates’ fathers did: he never went hunting,
he did not play poker or fish or drink or smoke. He sat in the livingroom and
read.
With these attributes, however, he would not remain as inconspicuous as we
wished him to: that year, the school buzzed with talk about him defending Tom
Robinson, none of which was complimentary. After my bout with Cecil Jacobs
when I committed myself to a policy of cowardice, word got around that Scout
Finch wouldn’t fight any more, her daddy wouldn’t let her. This was not entirely
correct: I wouldn’t fight publicly for Atticus, but the family was private ground.
I would fight anyone from a third cousin upwards tooth and nail. Francis
Hancock, for example, knew that.
When he gave us our air-rifles Atticus wouldn’t teach us to shoot. Uncle Jack
instructed us in the rudiments thereof; he said Atticus wasn’t interested in guns.
Atticus said to Jem one day, “I’d rather you shot at tin cans in the back yard, but
I know you’ll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit ‘em,
but remember it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird.”
That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something,
and I asked Miss Maudie about it.
“Your father’s right,” she said. “Mockingbirds don’t do one thing but make
music for us to enjoy. They don’t eat up people’s gardens, don’t nest in
corncribs, they don’t do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That’s why it’s
a sin to kill a mockingbird.”
“Miss Maudie, this is an old neighborhood, ain’t it?”
“Been here longer than the town.”
“Nome, I mean the folks on our street are all old. Jem and me’s the only
children around here. Mrs. Dubose is close on to a hundred and Miss Rachel’s
old and so are you and Atticus.”
“I don’t call fifty very old,” said Miss Maudie tartly. “Not being wheeled
around yet, am I? Neither’s your father. But I must say Providence was kind
enough to burn down that old mausoleum of mine, I’m too old to keep it up—
maybe you’re right, Jean Louise, this is a settled neighborhood. You’ve never
been around young folks much, have you?”
“Yessum, at school.”
“I mean young grown-ups. You’re lucky, you know. You and Jem have the
benefit of your father’s age. If your father was thirty you’d find life quite
different.”
“I sure would. Atticus can’t do anything . . .”
“You’d be surprised,” said Miss Maudie. “There’s life in him yet.”
“What can he do?”
“Well, he can make somebody’s will so airtight can’t anybody meddle with
it.”
“Shoot . . .”
“Well, did you know he’s the best checker-player in this town? Why, down at
the Landing when we were coming up, Atticus Finch could beat everybody on
both sides of the river.”
“Good Lord, Miss Maudie, Jem and me beat him all the time.”
“It’s about time you found out it’s because he lets you. Did you know he can
play a Jew’s Harp?”
This modest accomplishment served to make me even more ashamed of him.
“Well . . .” she said.
“Well, what, Miss Maudie?”
“Well nothing. Nothing—it seems with all that you’d be proud of him. Can’t
everybody play a Jew’s Harp. Now keep out of the way of the carpenters. You’d
better go home, I’ll be in my azaleas and can’t watch you. Plank might hit you.”
I went to the back yard and found Jem plugging away at a tin can, which
seemed stupid with all the bluejays around. I returned to the front yard and
busied myself for two hours erecting a complicated breastworks at the side of the
porch, consisting of a tire, an orange crate, the laundry hamper, the porch chairs,
and a small U.S. flag Jem gave me from a popcorn box.
When Atticus came home to dinner he found me crouched down aiming
across the street. “What are you shooting at?”
“Miss Maudie’s rear end.”
Atticus turned and saw my generous target bending over her bushes. He
pushed his hat to the back of his head and crossed the street. “Maudie,” he
called, “I thought I’d better warn you. You’re in considerable peril.”
Miss Maudie straightened up and looked toward me. She said, “Atticus, you
are a devil from hell.”
When Atticus returned he told me to break camp. “Don’t you ever let me
catch you pointing that gun at anybody again,” he said.
I wished my father was a devil from hell. I sounded out Calpurnia on the
subject. “Mr. Finch? Why, he can do lots of things.”
“Like what?” I asked.
Calpurnia scratched her head. “Well, I don’t rightly know,” she said.
Jem underlined it when he asked Atticus if he was going out for the
Methodists and Atticus said he’d break his neck if he did, he was just too old for
that sort of thing. The Methodists were trying to pay off their church mortgage,
and had challenged the Baptists to a game of touch football. Everybody in
town’s father was playing, it seemed, except Atticus. Jem said he didn’t even
want to go, but he was unable to resist football in any form, and he stood
gloomily on the sidelines with Atticus and me watching Cecil Jacobs’s father
make touchdowns for the Baptists.
One Saturday Jem and I decided to go exploring with our air-rifles to see if we
could find a rabbit or a squirrel. We had gone about five hundred yards beyond
the Radley Place when I noticed Jem squinting at something down the street. He
had turned his head to one side and was looking out of the corners of his eyes.
“Whatcha looking at?”
“That old dog down yonder,” he said.
“That’s old Tim Johnson, ain’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Tim Johnson was the property of Mr. Harry Johnson who drove the Mobile
bus and lived on the southern edge of town. Tim was a liver-colored bird dog,
the pet of Maycomb.
“What’s he doing?”
“I don’t know, Scout. We better go home.”
“Aw Jem, it’s February.”
“I don’t care, I’m gonna tell Cal.”
We raced home and ran to the kitchen.
“Cal,” said Jem, “can you come down the sidewalk a minute?”
“What for, Jem? I can’t come down the sidewalk every time you want me.”
“There’s somethin‘ wrong with an old dog down yonder.”
Calpurnia sighed. “I can’t wrap up any dog’s foot now. There’s some gauze in
the bathroom, go get it and do it yourself.”
Jem shook his head. “He’s sick, Cal. Something’s wrong with him.”
“What’s he doin‘, trying to catch his tail?”
“No, he’s doin‘ like this.”
Jem gulped like a goldfish, hunched his shoulders and twitched his torso.
“He’s goin‘ like that, only not like he means to.”
“Are you telling me a story, Jem Finch?” Calpurnia’s voice hardened.
“No Cal, I swear I’m not.”
“Was he runnin‘?”
“No, he’s just moseyin‘ along, so slow you can’t hardly tell it. He’s comin’
this way.”
Calpurnia rinsed her hands and followed Jem into the yard. “I don’t see any
dog,” she said.
She followed us beyond the Radley Place and looked where Jem pointed. Tim
Johnson was not much more than a speck in the distance, but he was closer to us.
He walked erratically, as if his right legs were shorter than his left legs. He
reminded me of a car stuck in a sandbed.
“He’s gone lopsided,” said Jem.
Calpurnia stared, then grabbed us by the shoulders and ran us home. She shut
the wood door behind us, went to the telephone and shouted, “Gimme Mr.
Finch’s office!”
“Mr. Finch!” she shouted. “This is Cal. I swear to God there’s a mad dog
down the street a piece—he’s comin‘ this way, yes sir, he’s—Mr. Finch, I
declare he is—old Tim Johnson, yes sir . . . yessir . . . yes—”
She hung up and shook her head when we tried to ask her what Atticus had
said. She rattled the telephone hook and said, “Miss Eula May—now ma’am,
I’m through talkin‘ to Mr. Finch, please don’t connect me no more—listen, Miss
Eula May, can you call Miss Rachel and Miss Stephanie Crawford and
whoever’s got a phone on this street and tell ’em a mad dog’s comin‘? Please
ma’am!”
Calpurnia listened. “I know it’s February, Miss Eula May, but I know a mad
dog when I see one. Please ma’am hurry!”
Calpurnia asked Jem, “Radleys got a phone?”
Jem looked in the book and said no. “They won’t come out anyway, Cal.”
“I don’t care, I’m gonna tell ‘em.”
She ran to the front porch, Jem and I at her heels. “You stay in that house!”
she yelled.
Calpurnia’s message had been received by the neighborhood. Every wood
door within our range of vision was closed tight. We saw no trace of Tim
Johnson. We watched Calpurnia running toward the Radley Place, holding her
skirt and apron above her knees. She went up to the front steps and banged on
the door. She got no answer, and she shouted, “Mr. Nathan, Mr. Arthur, mad
dog’s comin‘! Mad dog’s comin’!”
“She’s supposed to go around in back,” I said.
Jem shook his head. “Don’t make any difference now,” he said.
Calpurnia pounded on the door in vain. No one acknowledged her warning; no
one seemed to have heard it.
As Calpurnia sprinted to the back porch a black Ford swung into the
driveway. Atticus and Mr. Heck Tate got out.
Mr. Heck Tate was the sheriff of Maycomb County. He was as tall as Atticus,
but thinner. He was long-nosed, wore boots with shiny metal eye-holes, boot
pants and a lumber jacket. His belt had a row of bullets sticking in it. He carried
a heavy rifle. When he and Atticus reached the porch, Jem opened the door.
“Stay inside, son,” said Atticus. “Where is he, Cal?”
“He oughta be here by now,” said Calpurnia, pointing down the street.
“Not runnin‘, is he?” asked Mr. Tate.
“Naw sir, he’s in the twitchin‘ stage, Mr. Heck.”
“Should we go after him, Heck?” asked Atticus.
“We better wait, Mr. Finch. They usually go in a straight line, but you never
can tell. He might follow the curve—hope he does or he’ll go straight in the
Radley back yard. Let’s wait a minute.”
“Don’t think he’ll get in the Radley yard,” said Atticus. “Fence’ll stop him.
He’ll probably follow the road . . .”
I thought mad dogs foamed at the mouth, galloped, leaped and lunged at
throats, and I thought they did it in August. Had Tim Johnson behaved thus, I
would have been less frightened.
Nothing is more deadly than a deserted, waiting street. The trees were still, the
mockingbirds were silent, the carpenters at Miss Maudie’s house had vanished. I
heard Mr. Tate sniff, then blow his nose. I saw him shift his gun to the crook of
his arm. I saw Miss Stephanie Crawford’s face framed in the glass window of
her front door. Miss Maudie appeared and stood beside her. Atticus put his foot
on the rung of a chair and rubbed his hand slowly down the side of his thigh.
“There he is,” he said softly.
Tim Johnson came into sight, walking dazedly in the inner rim of the curve
parallel to the Radley house.
“Look at him,” whispered Jem. “Mr. Heck said they walked in a straight line.
He can’t even stay in the road.”
“He looks more sick than anything,” I said.
“Let anything get in front of him and he’ll come straight at it.”
Mr. Tate put his hand to his forehead and leaned forward. “He’s got it all
right, Mr. Finch.”
Tim Johnson was advancing at a snail’s pace, but he was not playing or
sniffing at foliage: he seemed dedicated to one course and motivated by an
invisible force that was inching him toward us. We could see him shiver like a
horse shedding flies; his jaw opened and shut; he was alist, but he was being
pulled gradually toward us.
“He’s lookin‘ for a place to die,” said Jem.
Mr. Tate turned around. “He’s far from dead, Jem, he hasn’t got started yet.”
Tim Johnson reached the side street that ran in front of the Radley Place, and
what remained of his poor mind made him pause and seem to consider which
road he would take. He made a few hesitant steps and stopped in front of the
Radley gate; then he tried to turn around, but was having difficulty.
Atticus said, “He’s within range, Heck. You better get him before he goes
down the side street—Lord knows who’s around the corner. Go inside, Cal.”
Calpurnia opened the screen door, latched it behind her, then unlatched it and
held onto the hook. She tried to block Jem and me with her body, but we looked
out from beneath her arms.
“Take him, Mr. Finch.” Mr. Tate handed the rifle to Atticus; Jem and I nearly
fainted.
“Don’t waste time, Heck,” said Atticus. “Go on.”
“Mr. Finch, this is a one-shot job.”
Atticus shook his head vehemently: “Don’t just stand there, Heck! He won’t
wait all day for you—”
“For God’s sake, Mr. Finch, look where he is! Miss and you’ll go straight into
the Radley house! I can’t shoot that well and you know it!”
“I haven’t shot a gun in thirty years—”
Mr. Tate almost threw the rifle at Atticus. “I’d feel mighty comfortable if you
did now,” he said.
In a fog, Jem and I watched our father take the gun and walk out into the
middle of the street. He walked quickly, but I thought he moved like an
underwater swimmer: time had slowed to a nauseating crawl.
When Atticus raised his glasses Calpurnia murmured, “Sweet Jesus help him,”
and put her hands to her cheeks.
Atticus pushed his glasses to his forehead; they slipped down, and he dropped
them in the street. In the silence, I heard them crack. Atticus rubbed his eyes and
chin; we saw him blink hard.
In front of the Radley gate, Tim Johnson had made up what was left of his
mind. He had finally turned himself around, to pursue his original course up our
street. He made two steps forward, then stopped and raised his head. We saw his
body go rigid.
With movements so swift they seemed simultaneous, Atticus’s hand yanked a
ball-tipped lever as he brought the gun to his shoulder.
The rifle cracked. Tim Johnson leaped, flopped over and crumpled on the
sidewalk in a brown-and-white heap. He didn’t know what hit him.
Mr. Tate jumped off the porch and ran to the Radley Place. He stopped in
front of the dog, squatted, turned around and tapped his finger on his forehead
above his left eye. “You were a little to the right, Mr. Finch,” he called.
“Always was,” answered Atticus. “If I had my ‘druthers I’d take a shotgun.”
He stooped and picked up his glasses, ground the broken lenses to powder
under his heel, and went to Mr. Tate and stood looking down at Tim Johnson.
Doors opened one by one, and the neighborhood slowly came alive. Miss
Maudie walked down the steps with Miss Stephanie Crawford.
Jem was paralyzed. I pinched him to get him moving, but when Atticus saw us
coming he called, “Stay where you are.”
When Mr. Tate and Atticus returned to the yard, Mr. Tate was smiling. “I’ll
have Zeebo collect him,” he said. “You haven’t forgot much, Mr. Finch. They
say it never leaves you.”
Atticus was silent.
“Atticus?” said Jem.
“Yes?”
“Nothin‘.”
“I saw that, One-Shot Finch!”
Atticus wheeled around and faced Miss Maudie. They looked at one another
without saying anything, and Atticus got into the sheriff’s car. “Come here,” he
said to Jem. “Don’t you go near that dog, you understand? Don’t go near him,
he’s just as dangerous dead as alive.”
“Yes sir,” said Jem. “Atticus—”
“What, son?”
“Nothing.”
“What’s the matter with you, boy, can’t you talk?” said Mr. Tate, grinning at
Jem. “Didn’t you know your daddy’s—”
“Hush, Heck,” said Atticus, “let’s go back to town.”
When they drove away, Jem and I went to Miss Stephanie’s front steps. We
sat waiting for Zeebo to arrive in the garbage truck.
Jem sat in numb confusion, and Miss Stephanie said, “Uh, uh, uh, who’da
thought of a mad dog in February? Maybe he wadn’t mad, maybe he was just
crazy. I’d hate to see Harry Johnson’s face when he gets in from the Mobile run
and finds Atticus Finch’s shot his dog. Bet he was just full of fleas from
somewhere—”
Miss Maudie said Miss Stephanie’d be singing a different tune if Tim Johnson
was still coming up the street, that they’d find out soon enough, they’d send his
head to Montgomery.
Jem became vaguely articulate: “‘d you see him, Scout? ’d you see him just
standin‘ there? . . . ’n‘ all of a sudden he just relaxed all over, an’ it looked like
that gun was a part of him . . . an‘ he did it so quick, like . . . I hafta aim for ten
minutes ’fore I can hit somethin‘ . . .”
Miss Maudie grinned wickedly. “Well now, Miss Jean Louise,” she said, “still
think your father can’t do anything? Still ashamed of him?”
“Nome,” I said meekly.
“Forgot to tell you the other day that besides playing the Jew’s Harp, Atticus
Finch was the deadest shot in Maycomb County in his time.”
“Dead shot . . .” echoed Jem.
“That’s what I said, Jem Finch. Guess you’ll change your tune now. The very
idea, didn’t you know his nickname was Ol‘ One-Shot when he was a boy?
Why, down at the Landing when he was coming up, if he shot fifteen times and
hit fourteen doves he’d complain about wasting ammunition.”
“He never said anything about that,” Jem muttered.
“Never said anything about it, did he?”
“No ma’am.”
“Wonder why he never goes huntin‘ now,” I said.
“Maybe I can tell you,” said Miss Maudie. “If your father’s anything, he’s
civilized in his heart. Marksmanship’s a gift of God, a talent—oh, you have to
practice to make it perfect, but shootin’s different from playing the piano or the
like. I think maybe he put his gun down when he realized that God had given
him an unfair advantage over most living things. I guess he decided he wouldn’t
shoot till he had to, and he had to today.”
“Looks like he’d be proud of it,” I said.
“People in their right minds never take pride in their talents,” said Miss
Maudie.
We saw Zeebo drive up. He took a pitchfork from the back of the garbage
truck and gingerly lifted Tim Johnson. He pitched the dog onto the truck, then
poured something from a gallon jug on and around the spot where Tim fell.
“Don’t yawl come over here for a while,” he called.
When we went home I told Jem we’d really have something to talk about at
school on Monday. Jem turned on me.
“Don’t say anything about it, Scout,” he said.
“What? I certainly am. Ain’t everybody’s daddy the deadest shot in Maycomb
County.”
Jem said, “I reckon if he’d wanted us to know it, he’da told us. If he was
proud of it, he’da told us.”
“Maybe it just slipped his mind,” I said.
“Naw, Scout, it’s something you wouldn’t understand. Atticus is real old, but I
wouldn’t care if he couldn’t do anything—I wouldn’t care if he couldn’t do a
blessed thing.”
Jem picked up a rock and threw it jubilantly at the carhouse. Running after it,
he called back: “Atticus is a gentleman, just like me!”
11
W
hen we were small, Jem and I confined our activities to the southern
neighborhood, but when I was well into the second grade at school and
tormenting Boo Radley became passe, the business section of Maycomb drew us
frequently up the street past the real property of Mrs. Henry Lafayette Dubose. It
was impossible to go to town without passing her house unless we wished to
walk a mile out of the way. Previous minor encounters with her left me with no
desire for more, but Jem said I had to grow up some time.
Mrs. Dubose lived alone except for a Negro girl in constant attendance, two
doors up the street from us in a house with steep front steps and a dog-trot hall.
She was very old; she spent most of each day in bed and the rest of it in a
wheelchair. It was rumored that she kept a CSA pistol concealed among her
numerous shawls and wraps.
Jem and I hated her. If she was on the porch when we passed, we would be
raked by her wrathful gaze, subjected to ruthless interrogation regarding our
behavior, and given a melancholy prediction on what we would amount to when
we grew up, which was always nothing. We had long ago given up the idea of
walking past her house on the opposite side of the street; that only made her
raise her voice and let the whole neighborhood in on it.
We could do nothing to please her. If I said as sunnily as I could, “Hey, Mrs.
Dubose,” I would receive for an answer, “Don’t you say hey to me, you ugly
girl! You say good afternoon, Mrs. Dubose!”
She was vicious. Once she heard Jem refer to our father as “Atticus” and her
reaction was apoplectic. Besides being the sassiest, most disrespectful mutts who
ever passed her way, we were told that it was quite a pity our father had not
remarried after our mother’s death. A lovelier lady than our mother never lived,
she said, and it was heartbreaking the way Atticus Finch let her children run
wild. I did not remember our mother, but Jem did—he would tell me about her
sometimes—and he went livid when Mrs. Dubose shot us this message.
Jem, having survived Boo Radley, a mad dog and other terrors, had concluded
that it was cowardly to stop at Miss Rachel’s front steps and wait, and had
decreed that we must run as far as the post office corner each evening to meet
Atticus coming from work. Countless evenings Atticus would find Jem furious
at something Mrs. Dubose had said when we went by.
“Easy does it, son,” Atticus would say. “She’s an old lady and she’s ill. You
just hold your head high and be a gentleman. Whatever she says to you, it’s your
job not to let her make you mad.” Jem would say she must not be very sick, she
hollered so. When the three of us came to her house, Atticus would sweep off his
hat, wave gallantly to her and say, “Good evening, Mrs. Dubose! You look like a
picture this evening.”
I never heard Atticus say like a picture of what. He would tell her the
courthouse news, and would say he hoped with all his heart she’d have a good
day tomorrow. He would return his hat to his head, swing me to his shoulders in
her very presence, and we would go home in the twilight. It was times like these
when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was
the bravest man who ever lived.
The day after Jem’s twelfth birthday his money was burning up his pockets, so
we headed for town in the early afternoon. Jem thought he had enough to buy a
miniature steam engine for himself and a twirling baton for me.
I had long had my eye on that baton: it was at V. J. Elmore’s, it was bedecked
with sequins and tinsel, it cost seventeen cents. It was then my burning ambition
to grow up and twirl with the Maycomb County High School band. Having
developed my talent to where I could throw up a stick and almost catch it
coming down, I had caused Calpurnia to deny me entrance to the house every
time she saw me with a stick in my hand. I felt that I could overcome this defect
with a real baton, and I thought it generous of Jem to buy one for me.
Mrs. Dubose was stationed on her porch when we went by.
“Where are you two going at this time of day?” she shouted. “Playing hooky, I
suppose. I’ll just call up the principal and tell him!” She put her hands on the
wheels of her chair and executed a perfect right face.
“Aw, it’s Saturday, Mrs. Dubose,” said Jem.
“Makes no difference if it’s Saturday,” she said obscurely. “I wonder if your
father knows where you are?”
“Mrs. Dubose, we’ve been goin‘ to town by ourselves since we were this
high.” Jem placed his hand palm down about two feet above the sidewalk.
“Don’t you lie to me!” she yelled. “Jeremy Finch, Maudie Atkinson told me
you broke down her scuppernong arbor this morning. She’s going to tell your
father and then you’ll wish you never saw the light of day! If you aren’t sent to
the reform school before next week, my name’s not Dubose!”
Jem, who hadn’t been near Miss Maudie’s scuppernong arbor since last
summer, and who knew Miss Maudie wouldn’t tell Atticus if he had, issued a
general denial.
“Don’t you contradict me!” Mrs. Dubose bawled. “And you—” she pointed an
arthritic finger at me—“what are you doing in those overalls? You should be in a
dress and camisole, young lady! You’ll grow up waiting on tables if somebody
doesn’t change your ways—a Finch waiting on tables at the O.K. Café—hah!”
I was terrified. The O.K. Café was a dim organization on the north side of the
square. I grabbed Jem’s hand but he shook me loose.
“Come on, Scout,” he whispered. “Don’t pay any attention to her, just hold
your head high and be a gentleman.”
But Mrs. Dubose held us: “Not only a Finch waiting on tables but one in the
courthouse lawing for niggers!”
Jem stiffened. Mrs. Dubose’s shot had gone home and she knew it:
“Yes indeed, what has this world come to when a Finch goes against his
raising? I’ll tell you!” She put her hand to her mouth. When she drew it away, it
trailed a long silver thread of saliva. “Your father’s no better than the niggers
and trash he works for!”
Jem was scarlet. I pulled at his sleeve, and we were followed up the sidewalk
by a philippic on our family’s moral degeneration, the major premise of which
was that half the Finches were in the asylum anyway, but if our mother were
living we would not have come to such a state.
I wasn’t sure what Jem resented most, but I took umbrage at Mrs. Dubose’s
assessment of the family’s mental hygiene. I had become almost accustomed to
hearing insults aimed at Atticus. But this was the first one coming from an adult.
Except for her remarks about Atticus, Mrs. Dubose’s attack was only routine.
There was a hint of summer in the air—in the shadows it was cool, but the sun
was warm, which meant good times coming: no school and Dill.
Jem bought his steam engine and we went by Elmore’s for my baton. Jem
took no pleasure in his acquisition; he jammed it in his pocket and walked
silently beside me toward home. On the way home I nearly hit Mr. Link Deas,
who said, “Look out now, Scout!” when I missed a toss, and when we
approached Mrs. Dubose’s house my baton was grimy from having picked it up
out of the dirt so many times.
She was not on the porch.
In later years, I sometimes wondered exactly what made Jem do it, what made
him break the bonds of “You just be a gentleman, son,” and the phase of self-
conscious rectitude he had recently entered. Jem had probably stood as much
guff about Atticus lawing for niggers as had I, and I took it for granted that he
kept his temper—he had a naturally tranquil disposition and a slow fuse. At the
time, however, I thought the only explanation for what he did was that for a few
minutes he simply went mad.
What Jem did was something I’d do as a matter of course had I not been under
Atticus’s interdict, which I assumed included not fighting horrible old ladies. We
had just come to her gate when Jem snatched my baton and ran flailing wildly up
the steps into Mrs. Dubose’s front yard, forgetting everything Atticus had said,
forgetting that she packed a pistol under her shawls, forgetting that if Mrs.
Dubose missed, her girl Jessie probably wouldn’t.
He did not begin to calm down until he had cut the tops off every camellia
bush Mrs. Dubose owned, until the ground was littered with green buds and
leaves. He bent my baton against his knee, snapped it in two and threw it down.
By that time I was shrieking. Jem yanked my hair, said he didn’t care, he’d do
it again if he got a chance, and if I didn’t shut up he’d pull every hair out of my
head. I didn’t shut up and he kicked me. I lost my balance and fell on my face.
Jem picked me up roughly but looked like he was sorry. There was nothing to
say.
We did not choose to meet Atticus coming home that evening. We skulked
around the kitchen until Calpurnia threw us out. By some voo-doo system
Calpurnia seemed to know all about it. She was a less than satisfactory source of
palliation, but she did give Jem a hot biscuit-and-butter which he tore in half and
shared with me. It tasted like cotton.
We went to the livingroom. I picked up a football magazine, found a picture
of Dixie Howell, showed it to Jem and said, “This looks like you.” That was the
nicest thing I could think to say to him, but it was no help. He sat by the
windows, hunched down in a rocking chair, scowling, waiting. Daylight faded.
Two geological ages later, we heard the soles of Atticus’s shoes scrape the
front steps. The screen door slammed, there was a pause—Atticus was at the hat
rack in the hall—and we heard him call, “Jem!” His voice was like the winter
wind.
Atticus switched on the ceiling light in the livingroom and found us there,
frozen still. He carried my baton in one hand; its filthy yellow tassel trailed on
the rug. He held out his other hand; it contained fat camellia buds.
“Jem,” he said, “are you responsible for this?”
“Yes sir.”
“Why’d you do it?”
Jem said softly, “She said you lawed for niggers and trash.”
“You did this because she said that?”
Jem’s lips moved, but his, “Yes sir,” was inaudible.
“Son, I have no doubt that you’ve been annoyed by your contemporaries
about me lawing for niggers, as you say, but to do something like this to a sick
old lady is inexcusable. I strongly advise you to go down and have a talk with
Mrs. Dubose,” said Atticus. “Come straight home afterward.”
Jem did not move.
“Go on, I said.”
I followed Jem out of the livingroom. “Come back here,” Atticus said to me. I
came back.
Atticus picked up the Mobile Press and sat down in the rocking chair Jem had
vacated. For the life of me, I did not understand how he could sit there in cold
blood and read a newspaper when his only son stood an excellent chance of
being murdered with a Confederate Army relic. Of course Jem antagonized me
sometimes until I could kill him, but when it came down to it he was all I had.
Atticus did not seem to realize this, or if he did he didn’t care.
I hated him for that, but when you are in trouble you become easily tired: soon
I was hiding in his lap and his arms were around me.
“You’re mighty big to be rocked,” he said.
“You don’t care what happens to him,” I said. “You just send him on to get
shot at when all he was doin‘ was standin’ up for you.”
Atticus pushed my head under his chin. “It’s not time to worry yet,” he said.
“I never thought Jem’d be the one to lose his head over this—thought I’d have
more trouble with you.”
I said I didn’t see why we had to keep our heads anyway, that nobody I knew
at school had to keep his head about anything.
“Scout,” said Atticus, “when summer comes you’ll have to keep your head
about far worse things . . . it’s not fair for you and Jem, I know that, but
sometimes we have to make the best of things, and the way we conduct
ourselves when the chips are down—well, all I can say is, when you and Jem are
grown, maybe you’ll look back on this with some compassion and some feeling
that I didn’t let you down. This case, Tom Robinson’s case, is something that
goes to the essence of a man’s conscience—Scout, I couldn’t go to church and
worship God if I didn’t try to help that man.”
“Atticus, you must be wrong . . .”
“How’s that?”
“Well, most folks seem to think they’re right and you’re wrong . . .”
“They’re certainly entitled to think that, and they’re entitled to full respect for
their opinions,” said Atticus, “but before I can live with other folks I’ve got to
live with myself. The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s
conscience.”
When Jem returned, he found me still in Atticus’s lap, “Well, son?” said
Atticus. He set me on my feet, and I made a secret reconnaissance of Jem. He
seemed to be all in one piece, but he had a queer look on his face. Perhaps she
had given him a dose of calomel.
“I cleaned it up for her and said I was sorry, but I ain’t, and that I’d work on
‘em ever Saturday and try to make ’em grow back out.”
“There was no point in saying you were sorry if you aren’t,” said Atticus.
“Jem, she’s old and ill. You can’t hold her responsible for what she says and
does. Of course, I’d rather she’d have said it to me than to either of you, but we
can’t always have our ‘druthers.”
Jem seemed fascinated by a rose in the carpet. “Atticus,” he said, “she wants
me to read to her.”
“Read to her?”
“Yes sir. She wants me to come every afternoon after school and Saturdays
and read to her out loud for two hours. Atticus, do I have to?”
“Certainly.”
“But she wants me to do it for a month.”
“Then you’ll do it for a month.”
Jem planted his big toe delicately in the center of the rose and pressed it in.
Finally he said, “Atticus, it’s all right on the sidewalk but inside it’s—it’s all
dark and creepy. There’s shadows and things on the ceiling . . .”
Atticus smiled grimly. “That should appeal to your imagination. Just pretend
you’re inside the Radley house.”
The following Monday afternoon Jem and I climbed the steep front steps to Mrs.
Dubose’s house and padded down the open hallway. Jem, armed with Ivanhoe
and full of superior knowledge, knocked at the second door on the left.
“Mrs. Dubose?” he called.
Jessie opened the wood door and unlatched the screen door.
“Is that you, Jem Finch?” she said. “You got your sister with you. I don’t
know—”
“Let ‘em both in, Jessie,” said Mrs. Dubose. Jessie admitted us and went off to
the kitchen.
An oppressive odor met us when we crossed the threshold, an odor I had met
many times in rain-rotted gray houses where there are coal-oil lamps, water
dippers, and unbleached domestic sheets. It always made me afraid, expectant,
watchful.
In the corner of the room was a brass bed, and in the bed was Mrs. Dubose. I
wondered if Jem’s activities had put her there, and for a moment I felt sorry for
her. She was lying under a pile of quilts and looked almost friendly.
There was a marble-topped washstand by her bed; on it were a glass with a
teaspoon in it, a red ear syringe, a box of absorbent cotton, and a steel alarm
clock standing on three tiny legs.
“So you brought that dirty little sister of yours, did you?” was her greeting.
Jem said quietly, “My sister ain’t dirty and I ain’t scared of you,” although I
noticed his knees shaking.
I was expecting a tirade, but all she said was, “You may commence reading,
Jeremy.”
Jem sat down in a cane-bottom chair and opened Ivanhoe. I pulled up another
one and sat beside him.
“Come closer,” said Mrs. Dubose. “Come to the side of the bed.”
We moved our chairs forward. This was the nearest I had ever been to her,
and the thing I wanted most to do was move my chair back again.
She was horrible. Her face was the color of a dirty pillowcase, and the corners
of her mouth glistened with wet, which inched like a glacier down the deep
grooves enclosing her chin. Old-age liver spots dotted her cheeks, and her pale
eyes had black pinpoint pupils. Her hands were knobby, and the cuticles were
grown up over her fingernails. Her bottom plate was not in, and her upper lip
protruded; from time to time she would draw her nether lip to her upper plate
and carry her chin with it. This made the wet move faster.
I didn’t look any more than I had to. Jem reopened Ivanhoe and began
reading. I tried to keep up with him, but he read too fast. When Jem came to a
word he didn’t know, he skipped it, but Mrs. Dubose would catch him and make
him spell it out. Jem read for perhaps twenty minutes, during which time I
looked at the soot-stained mantelpiece, out the window, anywhere to keep from
looking at her. As he read along, I noticed that Mrs. Dubose’s corrections grew
fewer and farther between, that Jem had even left one sentence dangling in mid-
air. She was not listening.
I looked toward the bed.
Something had happened to her. She lay on her back, with the quilts up to her
chin. Only her head and shoulders were visible. Her head moved slowly from
side to side. From time to time she would open her mouth wide, and I could see
her tongue undulate faintly. Cords of saliva would collect on her lips; she would
draw them in, then open her mouth again. Her mouth seemed to have a private
existence of its own. It worked separate and apart from the rest of her, out and
in, like a clam hole at low tide. Occasionally it would say, “Pt,” like some
viscous substance coming to a boil.
I pulled Jem’s sleeve.
He looked at me, then at the bed. Her head made its regular sweep toward us,
and Jem said, “Mrs. Dubose, are you all right?” She did not hear him.
The alarm clock went off and scared us stiff. A minute later, nerves still
tingling, Jem and I were on the sidewalk headed for home. We did not run away,
Jessie sent us: before the clock wound down she was in the room pushing Jem
and me out of it.
“Shoo,” she said, “you all go home.”
Jem hesitated at the door.
“It’s time for her medicine,” Jessie said. As the door swung shut behind us I
saw Jessie walking quickly toward Mrs. Dubose’s bed.
It was only three forty-five when we got home, so Jem and I drop-kicked in
the back yard until it was time to meet Atticus. Atticus had two yellow pencils
for me and a football magazine for Jem, which I suppose was a silent reward for
our first day’s session with Mrs. Dubose. Jem told him what happened.
“Did she frighten you?” asked Atticus.
“No sir,” said Jem, “but she’s so nasty. She has fits or somethin‘. She spits a
lot.”
“She can’t help that. When people are sick they don’t look nice sometimes.”
“She scared me,” I said.
Atticus looked at me over his glasses. “You don’t have to go with Jem, you
know.”
The next afternoon at Mrs. Dubose’s was the same as the first, and so was the
next, until gradually a pattern emerged: everything would begin normally—that
is, Mrs. Dubose would hound Jem for a while on her favorite subjects, her
camellias and our father’s nigger-loving propensities; she would grow
increasingly silent, then go away from us. The alarm clock would ring, Jessie
would shoo us out, and the rest of the day was ours.
“Atticus,” I said one evening, “what exactly is a nigger-lover?”
Atticus’s face was grave. “Has somebody been calling you that?”
“No sir, Mrs. Dubose calls you that. She warms up every afternoon calling
you that. Francis called me that last Christmas, that’s where I first heard it.”
“Is that the reason you jumped on him?” asked Atticus.
“Yes sir . . .”
“Then why are you asking me what it means?”
I tried to explain to Atticus that it wasn’t so much what Francis said that had
infuriated me as the way he had said it. “It was like he’d said snot-nose or
somethin‘.”
“Scout,” said Atticus, “nigger-lover is just one of those terms that don’t mean
anything—like snot-nose. It’s hard to explain—ignorant, trashy people use it
when they think somebody’s favoring Negroes over and above themselves. It’s
slipped into usage with some people like ourselves, when they want a common,
ugly term to label somebody.”
“You aren’t really a nigger-lover, then, are you?”
“I certainly am. I do my best to love everybody . . . I’m hard put, sometimes—
baby, it’s never an insult to be called what somebody thinks is a bad name. It just
shows you how poor that person is, it doesn’t hurt you. So don’t let Mrs. Dubose
get you down. She has enough troubles of her own.”
One afternoon a month later Jem was ploughing his way through Sir Walter
Scout, as Jem called him, and Mrs. Dubose was correcting him at every turn,
when there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” she screamed.
Atticus came in. He went to the bed and took Mrs. Dubose’s hand. “I was
coming from the office and didn’t see the children,” he said. “I thought they
might still be here.”
Mrs. Dubose smiled at him. For the life of me I could not figure out how she
could bring herself to speak to him when she seemed to hate him so. “Do you
know what time it is, Atticus?” she said. “Exactly fourteen minutes past five.
The alarm clock’s set for five-thirty. I want you to know that.”
It suddenly came to me that each day we had been staying a little longer at
Mrs. Dubose’s, that the alarm clock went off a few minutes later every day, and
that she was well into one of her fits by the time it sounded. Today she had
antagonized Jem for nearly two hours with no intention of having a fit, and I felt
hopelessly trapped. The alarm clock was the signal for our release; if one day it
did not ring, what would we do?
“I have a feeling that Jem’s reading days are numbered,” said Atticus.
“Only a week longer, I think,” she said, “just to make sure . . .”
Jem rose. “But—”
Atticus put out his hand and Jem was silent. On the way home, Jem said he
had to do it just for a month and the month was up and it wasn’t fair.
“Just one more week, son,” said Atticus.
“No,” said Jem. “Yes,” said Atticus.
The following week found us back at Mrs. Dubose’s. The alarm clock had
ceased sounding, but Mrs. Dubose would release us with, “That’ll do,” so late in
the afternoon Atticus would be home reading the paper when we returned.
Although her fits had passed off, she was in every other way her old self: when
Sir Walter Scott became involved in lengthy descriptions of moats and castles,
Mrs. Dubose would become bored and pick on us:
“Jeremy Finch, I told you you’d live to regret tearing up my camellias. You
regret it now, don’t you?”
Jem would say he certainly did.
“Thought you could kill my Snow-on-the-Mountain, did you? Well, Jessie
says the top’s growing back out. Next time you’ll know how to do it right, won’t
you? You’ll pull it up by the roots, won’t you?”
Jem would say he certainly would.
“Don’t you mutter at me, boy! You hold up your head and say yes ma’am.
Don’t guess you feel like holding it up, though, with your father what he is.”
Jem’s chin would come up, and he would gaze at Mrs. Dubose with a face
devoid of resentment. Through the weeks he had cultivated an expression of
polite and detached interest, which he would present to her in answer to her most
blood-curdling inventions.
At last the day came. When Mrs. Dubose said, “That’ll do,” one afternoon,
she added, “And that’s all. Good-day to you.”
It was over. We bounded down the sidewalk on a spree of sheer relief, leaping
and howling.
That spring was a good one: the days grew longer and gave us more playing
time. Jem’s mind was occupied mostly with the vital statistics of every college
football player in the nation. Every night Atticus would read us the sports pages
of the newspapers. Alabama might go to the Rose Bowl again this year, judging
from its prospects, not one of whose names we could pronounce. Atticus was in
the middle of Windy Seaton’s column one evening when the telephone rang.
He answered it, then went to the hat rack in the hall. “I’m going down to Mrs.
Dubose’s for a while,” he said. “I won’t be long.”
But Atticus stayed away until long past my bedtime. When he returned he was
carrying a candy box. Atticus sat down in the livingroom and put the box on the
floor beside his chair.
“What’d she want?” asked Jem.
We had not seen Mrs. Dubose for over a month. She was never on the porch
any more when we passed.
“She’s dead, son,” said Atticus. “She died a few minutes ago.”
“Oh,” said Jem. “Well.”
“Well is right,” said Atticus. “She’s not suffering any more. She was sick for a
long time. Son, didn’t you know what her fits were?”
Jem shook his head.
“Mrs. Dubose was a morphine addict,” said Atticus. “She took it as a pain-
killer for years. The doctor put her on it. She’d have spent the rest of her life on
it and died without so much agony, but she was too contrary—”
“Sir?” said Jem.
Atticus said, “Just before your escapade she called me to make her will. Dr.
Reynolds told her she had only a few months left. Her business affairs were in
perfect order but she said, ‘There’s still one thing out of order.’”
“What was that?” Jem was perplexed.
“She said she was going to leave this world beholden to nothing and nobody.
Jem, when you’re sick as she was, it’s all right to take anything to make it easier,
but it wasn’t all right for her. She said she meant to break herself of it before she
died, and that’s what she did.”
Jem said, “You mean that’s what her fits were?”
“Yes, that’s what they were. Most of the time you were reading to her I doubt
if she heard a word you said. Her whole mind and body were concentrated on
that alarm clock. If you hadn’t fallen into her hands, I’d have made you go read
to her anyway. It may have been some distraction. There was another reason—”
“Did she die free?” asked Jem.
“As the mountain air,” said Atticus. “She was conscious to the last, almost.
Conscious,” he smiled, “and cantankerous. She still disapproved heartily of my
doings, and said I’d probably spend the rest of my life bailing you out of jail.
She had Jessie fix you this box—”
Atticus reached down and picked up the candy box. He handed it to Jem.
Jem opened the box. Inside, surrounded by wads of damp cotton, was a white,
waxy, perfect camellia. It was a Snow-on-the-Mountain.
Jem’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Old hell-devil, old hell-devil!” he
screamed, flinging it down. “Why can’t she leave me alone?”
In a flash Atticus was up and standing over him. Jem buried his face in
Atticus’s shirt front. “Sh-h,” he said. “I think that was her way of telling you—
everything’s all right now, Jem, everything’s all right. You know, she was a
great lady.”
“A lady?” Jem raised his head. His face was scarlet. “After all those things she
said about you, a lady?”
“She was. She had her own views about things, a lot different from mine,
maybe . . . son, I told you that if you hadn’t lost your head I’d have made you go
read to her. I wanted you to see something about her—I wanted you to see what
real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his
hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway
and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.
Mrs. Dubose won, all ninety-eight pounds of her. According to her views, she
died beholden to nothing and nobody. She was the bravest person I ever knew.”
Jem picked up the candy box and threw it in the fire. He picked up the
camellia, and when I went off to bed I saw him fingering the wide petals. Atticus
was reading the paper
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