(excerpt from a letter to a pet-sitter)
Dear Lee,
As I told you, I’ll be gone until Wednesday morning. Thank you so much for taking on my “children” while
I’m away. Like real children, they can be kind of irritating sometimes, but I’m going to enjoy myself so much
more knowing they’re getting some kind human attention. Remember that Regina (the “queen” in Latin, and
she acts like one) is teething. If you don’t watch her, she’ll chew anything, including her sister, the cat. There
are plenty of chew toys around the house. Whenever she starts gnawing on anything illegal, just divert her with
one of those. She generally settles right down to a good hour-long chew. Then you’ll see her wandering around
whimpering with the remains of the toy in her mouth. She gets really frustrated because what she wants is to
bury the thing. She’ll try to dig a hole between the cushions of the couch. Finding that unsatisfactory, she’ll wan-
der some more, discontent, until you solve her problem for her. I usually show her the laundry basket, mov-
ing a few clothes so she can bury her toy beneath them. I do sound like a parent, don’t I? You have to
understand, my own son is practically grown up.
Regina’s food is the Puppy Chow in the utility room, where the other pet food is stored. Give her a bowl
once in the morning and once in the evening. No more than that, no matter how much she begs. Beagles are
notorious overeaters, according to her breeder, and I don’t want her to lose her girlish figure. She can share Rex
(the King’s) water, but be sure it’s changed daily. She needs to go out several times a day, especially last thing
at night and first thing in the morning. Let her stay out for about ten minutes each time, so she can do
all her
business. She also needs a walk in the afternoon, after which it’s important to romp with her for awhile in the
yard. The game she loves most is fetch, but be sure to make her drop the ball. She’d rather play tug of war with
it. Tell her, “Sit!” Then, when she does, say, “Drop it!” Be sure to tell her “good girl,” and then throw the ball
for her. I hope you’ll enjoy these sessions as much as I do.
Now, for the other two, Rex and Paws… (
letter continues)
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