Published in the United Kingdom by

PART FOUR
Accepting Yourself
99

---

Introduction
You won’t be important to other people
all the time, and that’s why you have to be
important to yourself. Learn to enjoy your own
company. Take care of yourself. Encourage
positive self-talk – and become your own
support system. Your needs matter, so start
meeting them yourself. Don’t rely on others.
Someone once posed the question: ‘If I asked you to name all the things you
love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?’
This question serves as a reminder that many of us neglect self-love. It’s the
result of a common problem within our society: we’re conditioned to care
more about what others think of us than what we think of ourselves.
Learning to interact effectively with other people and get them to like you
will help you to achieve your goals. But there’s a deeper issue that must be
addressed first: 
Do you like yourself?
We learn to care about how others feel about us but avoid focusing on how
we feel about ourselves. This creates a society in which people try to impress
others in order to be liked, but deep down they remain unsatisfied because
they don’t like themselves.
100

---

Admittedly, it’s nice when your talents are recognized, when your work is
rewarded, your achievements applauded or your looks appreciated. In these
moments we justify our existence. We’re flattered. We feel loved. We feel
important. Life feels good.
But we continue on a perpetual mission to please others, to prove our worth.
We create our own financial pressures by buying things we don’t need, just
so we can impress people who care little for our wellbeing. We change
ourselves to fit in, rather than changing the world by being ourselves. We
alter our natural beauty to adapt to societal expectations. We strive for
endless external goals while neglecting our own spiritual growth.
The power of love and kindness is enormous, and sharing it with others can
transform the world. But we must also be kind and loving towards ourselves.
Instead of trying to change who you are, start giving yourself permission to
feel good. Transform your own world and you’ll hone the skills needed to
change the world around you.
If, as happens very often, we don’t treat ourselves with the kindness and
respect we deserve, we become insecure, and this affects our confidence,
attitude and health. This results in a struggle to show love towards others in
the way we want to, which, in turn, affects the expressions of love we
receive
. People tend to enjoy being around, and fall in love with, those who
gracefully accept themselves. For this reason, self-love is a vital element in
building strong relationships.
Let’s say a young woman called Kierah lacks self-love and show signs of
insecurity in her relationship with her partner, Troy, because she doesn’t feel
she’s as pretty as the other girls Troy knows. This makes her behave in ways
that, from Troy’s perspective, display a lack of respect and trust, such as
going through his phone and reading his private messages. Regardless of
whether they genuinely love each other, their relationship suffers because
Kierah lacks self-love. Kierah’s behaviour begins to affect Troy’s wellbeing.
He then starts to believe that her actions indicate that she doesn’t truly love
him, and as a result his own self-esteem is damaged. Their relationship enters
a downward spiral and eventually comes to an end.
When you accept yourself as you are, you put emphasis on your own
101

---

wellbeing and joy – and you’ll be content with the idea that not everyone will
accept you as you are. You’ll know your worth, so you won’t care if others
don’t recognize it. In fact, you’ll come to understand 
why
they don’t
recognize it: unfortunately, because most people don’t accept themselves,
they search for flaws in others.
We’re back where we started: the importance of loving yourself
unconditionally.
The ideas that follow in Chapter 1 will enhance your awareness and
understanding of exactly why you hold your current beliefs, so you can make
meaningful changes to your life. This journey of personal growth will guide
you towards self-acceptance and bring joyful experiences into your world.
102

---