Rating: ★★★★☆ Tags: Mystery Detective, General, Fiction

wiik-wiik
sound. For some reason, I think: 
He looks
like a cop
. I turn my back to him.
‘Nick is the last thing for you to worry about,’ Desi said.
‘Give that worry to me and I’ll take care of it.’ He holds out
his hand, an old gesture. He is my worry-keeper; it is a
ritual game we played as teens. I pretend to place
something in his palm and he closes his fingers over it and I
actually feel better.
‘No, I won’t take care of it. I do hope Nick dies for what
he did to you,’ he said. ‘In a sane society, he would.’
‘Well, we’re in an insane society, so I need to stay
hidden,’ I said. ‘Do you think that’s horrible of me?’ I already
know the answer.

---

‘Sweetheart, of course not. You are doing what you’ve
been forced to do. It would be madness to do anything
else.’
He doesn’t ask anything about the pregnancy. I knew
he wouldn’t.
‘You’re the only one who knows,’ I say.
‘I’ll take care of you. What can I do?’
I pretend to balk, chew the edge of my lip, look away
and then back to Desi. ‘I need money to live on for a bit. I
thought about getting a job, but—’
‘Oh, no, don’t do that. You are 
everywhere
, Amy – on
all the newscasts, all the magazines. Someone would
recognize you. Even with this’ – he touches my hair – ‘new
sporty cut of yours. You’re a beautiful woman, and it’s
difficult for beautiful women to disappear.’
‘Unfortunately, I think you’re right,’ I say. ‘I just don’t
want you to think I’m taking advantage. I just didn’t know
where else to—’
The waitress, a plain brunette disguised as a pretty
brunette, drops by, sets our drinks on the table. I turn my
face from her and see that the mustached curious guy is
standing a little closer, watching me with a half smile. I am
off my game. Old Amy never would have come here. My
mind is addled by Diet Coke and my own body odor.
‘I ordered you a gin and tonic,’ I say.
Desi gives a delicate grimace.
‘What?’ I ask, but I already know.
‘That’s my spring drink. I’m Jack and gingers now.’
‘Then we’ll get you one of those, and I’ll have your gin.’
‘No, it’s fine, don’t worry.’
The lookiloo appears again in my peripheral. ‘Is that

---

guy, that guy with the mustache – don’t look now – is he
staring at me?’
Desi gives a flick of a glance, shakes his head. ‘He’s
watching the … 
singers
.’ He says the word dubiously. ‘You
don’t just want a little bit of cash. You’ll get tired of this
subterfuge. Not being able to look people in the face. Living
among’ – he spread his arms out to include the whole
casino – ‘people with whom I assume you don’t have much
in common. Living below your means.’
‘That’s what it is for the next ten years. Until I’ve aged
enough and the story has gone away and I can feel
comfortable.’
‘Ha! You’re willing to do that for 
ten
years? Amy?’
‘Sh, don’t say the name.’
‘Cathy or Jenny or Megan or whatever, don’t be
ludicrous.’
The waitress returns, and Desi hands her a twenty and
dismisses her. She walks away grinning. Holding the twenty
up like it is novel. I take a sip of my drink. The baby won’t
mind.
‘I don’t think Nick would press charges if you return,’
Desi says.
‘What?’
‘He came by to see me. I think he knows that he’s to
blame—’
‘He went to see you? When?’
‘Last week. Before I’d talked to you, thank God.’
Nick has shown more interest in me these past ten
days than he has in the past few years. I’ve always wanted
a man to get in a fight over me – a brutal, bloody fight. Nick
going to interrogate Desi, that’s a nice start.

---

‘What did he say?’ I ask. ‘How did he seem?’
‘He seemed like a top-drawer asshole. He wanted to
pin it on 
me
. Told me some insane story about how I—’
I’d always liked that lie about Desi trying to kill himself
over me. He had truly been devastated by our breakup, and
he’d been really annoying, creepy, hanging around campus,
hoping I’d take him back.
So he might as well have attempted suicide.
‘What did Nick say about me?’
‘I think he knows that he can never hurt you now that the
world knows and cares about who you are. He’d have to let
you come back safely, and you could divorce him and
marry the right man.’ He took a sip. ‘At long last.’
‘I can’t come back, Desi. Even if people believed
everything about Nick’s abuse. I’d still be the one they
hated – I was the one who tricked them. I’d be the biggest
pariah in the world.’
‘You’d be my pariah, and I’d love you no matter what,
and I’d shield you from everything,’ Desi said. ‘You would
never have to deal with any of it.’
‘We’d never be able to socialize with anyone again.’
‘We could leave the country if you want. Live in Spain,
Italy, wherever you like, spend our days eating mangoes in
the sun. Sleep late, play Scrabble, flip through books
aimlessly, swim in the ocean.’
‘And when I died, I’d be some bizarre footnote – a
freak show. No. I do have pride, Desi.’
‘I’m not letting you go back to the trailer-park life. I’m
not. Come with me, we’ll set you up in the lake house. It’s
very secluded. I’ll bring groceries and anything you need,
anytime. You can hide out, all alone, until we decide what to

---

do.’
D esi ’ s