Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective

ittaqi-Llāh
yā rajul
! How are you going to stand in front of Allah? Just because she lives
under your roof, just because she was born in your family, just because she is
under your 
wilāyah
, does not mean you own her. She is the property of Allah;
she is 
amat-Allāh
just like you are 
ʿabd-Allāh
. You will be standing in front of
Allah; I will be standing in front of Allah, and we will have to answer for every
word that comes out of our mouth.
Fa-aḥsana ilayhinna
, 
wa-ttaqā Allāh fīhinn
. He had to be good to them. Be
your best to your daughters, show them your kindness, and show them your love.
Instil confidence in them, believe in them. Ensure their happiness and then on
top of that just any time you get even close to oppressing them, saying hurtful
things to them just remember: 
fa-aḥsana ilayhinna
, or 
wa-ttaqā Allāh fīhinn
—
you have to have 
taqwā
in their matter.
I didn’t even get into the words of the Prophet (
ṣallā Allāh ʿalayhi wa-
sallam
):
 wa-lam yu’thir waladahū ʿalayhā
—he doesn’t prefer his sons over his
daughters. You know what that means, right? My son gets older; I’m going to do
all these things with him. No, you’re going to do these things with him and your
daughters. You’re going to keep them with you. You’re going to go on a trip?

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‘No, no, this trip is for the boys.’ Yes, if there is a trip for the boys, then there
better be another trip for the girls. Because if you want 
jannah
that badly, you
can’t discriminate between the boys and the girls in your family. You as a father
have to give equal love, this is our religion; it’s beautiful. It’s beautiful. We
make life ugly for ourselves and for our children; we have to come back to the
beauty that this religion is.
May Allah (
ʿazza wa-jall
) allow all of us to be good fathers, good brothers,
and good 
awliyā’
of our families. May Allah (
ʿazza wa-jall
) never allow us to
forget the obligation, the responsibility we have towards our daughters. The
daughters that are reading this, don’t email your father and say ‘Abba read this’.
Don’t do that. Don’t be selfish in your religion. You only want people to read
what will make your life better. We started with this point. Everybody wants
something for themselves and they give Allah the leftovers. People use religion
to get their way. Allah knows when people use religion to get their way. This
religion is not for you to use; this religion is for you to serve—to serve Allah;
not yourself. Allah will protect you and Allah will protect your rights but don’t
use it as a weapon. Don’t quote 
aḥadīth
at people and 
āyāt
at people.
In a sermon it’s okay—that’s my job. But inside the household, I’m not
going to go and quote things to my wife or to my daughters and they shouldn’t
be quoting things at me. That’s not what this 
dīn
and its 
āyāt
are for, not for
arguments and winning arguments. That’s abuse. Abuse of Allah’s words, abuse
of the words of the Prophet (
ṣallā Allāh ʿalayhi wa-sallam
), and so many people
do it. A father is telling his daughter to do xyz and she doesn’t want to do it. He
says: 
wa-bi-l-walidayn iḥsānā
—haven’t you read Qur’an? That ain’t about
Qur’an, my friend. That’s about what you want, and you are imposing it on her.
Using the 
āyāt
as a weapon, this is not right, that is not how it was