Secret to a healthier life
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SECRET TO A HEALTHIER LIFE|
Road Podcast “ SECRET TO A HEALTHIER LIFE ” SECRET TO A HEALTHIER LIFE You know what's a lot harder than it seems like it should be actually feeling alive and what I mean by that is that we are all constantly doing or at least we're constantly scrolling but we're not necessarily living you know we keep ourselves busy to the point of exhaustion but we're also languishing we feel a little bit dead inside i think we know that on some level i think that's part of the reason we keep ourselves so busy and distracted to begin with but we don't know what to do about it so i am here to tell you i figured out what to do about it we need to have more fun so you might think that you're already having plenty of fun and that's because in our everyday speech we often use the word fun to describe anything we do with our leisure time even if it's not actually enjoyable and in fact a waste of time so for so for example we scroll through social media for fun even though doing so often makes us feel bad about like kind of everything or we'll say that was so fun we should do that again soon in response in response to things that weren't that fun and that we don't want to do again ever but it's not really our fault that we're a little bit sloppy about how we use the word fun because even the dictionary doesn't get it quite right you know it says that fun is an amusement or enjoyment or lighthearted pleasure it's something for kids to have in play areas it makes it sound like it's frivolous and optional but if you think back on your own memories that stand out to you as having truly been fun and i really encourage you to do this you know the memories that you would describe as and forgive me for a scientific terminology so fun you're going to notice that there's something much deeper going on i've collected thousands of these stories from people all around the world and i can tell you it's amazing because when people recount the memories in which they had the most fun they tell you about some of the most joyful and treasured memories of their lives so in reality fun is not just lighthearted pleasure it's not just for kids and it is definitely not frivolous instead fun is the secret to feeling alive so today i want to propose to you a new more precise definition of what fun is i want to reveal some of the ways in which it is astonishingly good for us and i want to give you all some suggestions for things you can do starting right now to experience its power for yourself so the first thing we need to start with um is the fact that fun is a feeling and it's not an activity and that's important because a lot of times when i ask people what's fun they'll respond with a list of activities that they enjoy you know they'll say dancing is fun or skiing is fun or i don't know pickleball is fun everyone seems to think that pickleball is [Laughter] fun and sure pickleball can be fun but we've all had experiences where something's off and an activity that seems like it would be fun doesn't end up feeling fun and then on the flip side we've had experiences where something that doesn't seem like it would be fun at all ends up feeling ridiculously fun there's an element of serendipity but when people do have fun when they experience this feeling it's actually very easy to recognize because people who are having fun look like they're being illuminated from within so for example here's me and my husband having fun together here are some presidents having fun together here's archbishop desmond tutu on the dalai lama having fun together actually those two seem like they were very often even constantly having fun together and as you can see in these photographs true fun produces this visceral sense of lightness and joy it's radiant in fact when i asked my daughter when she was about five years old what color fun would be she said sunshine so what is this sunshine you know what is this feeling that we call fun well when people tell me their stories about fun it's really interesting because the details are all different and often quite mundane but the energy running through them is the same and there are three factors that are consistently present to the point that i believe they constitute a new definition one that is a lot more accurate than what's in the dictionary and those three factors are playfulness connection and flow so by playfulness i do not mean you have to play games or god forbid make believe i just mean having a lighthearted attitude of doing things for the sake of doing them and not caring too much about the outcome letting go of perfectionism when we have fun our guard is down and we're not taking ourselves too seriously connection refers to the feeling of having a special shared experience and i do think it's possible in some circumstances to have fun alone and for this feeling of connection to be with yourself or the surroundings or the activity but in the majority of stories that people tell me about their peak fund memories another person is involved and that's true even for introverts and then flow is the state where we are so engaged and focused on whatever we're doing that we can even lose track of time you can think about an athlete in the middle of a game or like a musician playing a piece of music it's when we're in the zone it's possible to be in flow and not have fun like if you're arguing but you cannot have fun if you are not in flow so playfulness connection and flow all feel great on their own but when we experience all three at once something magical happens we have fun and that doesn't just feel good it is good for us in fact fun does so many amazingly good things for us that i personally believe that fun is not just the result of human thriving it's a cause so for example fun is energizing when people tell me their stories about fun they glow it is like a fire has been lit inside of them and the energy and the warmth that they give off is contagious you know so much of life drains us but fun fills us up fun also makes us present a lot of us put a lot of work into trying to be more present you know we do yoga classes we meditate and that is all great but the fact that fun is a flow state means that when we are having fun we simply are present there's no other way for it to happen fun also unites us we live in a really polarized world and as we all know there's a lot of very serious problems but when we have fun with people we don't see them as different political parties or nationalities or religions we connect with them as human beings and it's worth noting that that is the first step in being able to work together to solve those problems fun also makes us healthier now being lonely and stressed out as many of us have been for the past two years causes hormonal changes in our bodies that increase our risks for disease but when we have fun we're relaxed and we're more socially connected both of which have the opposite effect so it kind of blows my mind every time i think about it this way but having fun is a health intervention and then lastly fun is joyful you know we all so desperately want to be happy we read books about happiness we download apps about happiness but when we are in a moment of having fun we are happy so it makes me think that perhaps the secret to long-term happiness is just to have more everyday moments of fun so how do we do that how do we have more fun well to start with do not take the suggestions you will find in magazine articles about how to have more fun so i looked up some of these myself and i found suggestions that include and i'm not making these up roasted turkey put together an altar to loved ones who have passed watch a documentary about climate change and my personal favorite adorn your table with gourds so though those are not good suggestions instead the most effective thing you can do to have more fun is to focus on its ingredients by which i mean do everything you can to fill your life with more moments of playfulness connection and flow so here are some ideas for how to do so so to start with reduce distractions in order to increase flow anything that distracts you is going to kick you out of flow and prevent you from having fun and what's the number one source of distraction for most of us these days oh thank you it's rhetorical but yes your phones now i wrote a book called how to break up with your phone so i have strong feelings about this but i can guarantee you that you are not going to have fun if you are constantly on your phone so today i want to challenge you to keep your phone out of your hand as much as possible so that you can take me up on my second suggestion which is to increase connection by interacting more with other human beings in real life now i know that one of the main reasons we're constantly on our phones is specifically to avoid having to spend time and interact with other human beings in real life so i want to assure you that it is worth it and it is not as hard as it might seem so here's how you do it you start by making eye contact with someone like look them in the eye don't look like in the middle of their forehead where the camera would be on a zoom call [Laughter] and you say hello and if that goes well you can introduce yourself and if that goes well maybe you can ask them a question maybe something that's like thought- provoking but not overly personal or threatening something like what's something that fascinates you or what's one thing that delighted you today you might be amazed by how good just one little moment of connection can make you feel and if you do find someone to connect with maybe ask them to join you in trying my third suggestion which is to increase playfulness by finding opportunities to rebel now i am not talking about james dean level rebellion i'm talking about playful deviance i'm talking about finding ways to break the rules of responsible adulthood and give yourself permission to get a kick out of your own life so for example one person told me that some of the most fun she'd had in recent memory happened on a friday morning when she and some of her friends ditched their work and their child care responsibilities tucked flasks into their purses and snuck out to a 10 30 a.m showing of the movie bad moms so lastly here's one more thing that you can do today to start having more fun i am just kidding prioritize it that might sound totally obvious but one of the main reasons we're not having enough fun is that we're not making it a priority you know our fund is always at the bottom of the list and it can't speak up for itself so i'm not suggesting that you like take out your calendar and make an entry that says from 4 to 6 p.m on saturday i shall have fun that is a guaranteed way to not have fun but if you know you consistently have fun when you spend time with a Yüklə 452 Kb. 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