Doctor’s Orders
Servant: Sir, wake up, wake up!
Master: What’s the matter?
Servant: It’s time to take your sleeping tablets.
Politeness
Mother: Which apple do you want, Tom?
Tom: The biggest one.
Mother: Why, Tom, you should be polite and take the little one.
Tom: Well, Mamma, should I lie just to be polite?
His Pipe
Little girl: Grandpa, would you like me to give you a new pipe for your birthday?
Grandpa: That’s very nice of you, Mary, but I have got a pipe.
Little girl: I don’t think you have, Grandpa. I’ve just broken it.
A Good Student
Professor: Can you tell me anything about the great chemists of the 17th century?
Students: Yes, sir, they are all dead, sir.
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