There
should be a focus on details, comparison,
contrast, and specific
vocabulary and phrases to describe trends in both body paragraphs. Starting
the first body paragraph
with a sentence initiator, such as “based on the
given data”/“according to the information”/“regarding the data”/“based on
the
statistics,” etc., is recommended.
Based on the statistics, traveling by car stood at roughly 25% in 1990,
whereas almost 65% of Vancouver’s population considered commuting
by bus. Over the next ten years, these numbers had drastic changes and
ultimately met in the year 2000, when the trend for taking the bus went
down gradually to approximately 45%. In contrast, the figure for
traveling by car witnessed a significant growth to the same amount as
the other trend simultaneously.
(Detailed percentages and periods describe trends in comparative structures
precisely; there is practical usage of the vocabulary of approximation, noun,
and verb phrases.)
4) Body paragraph 2
In this paragraph, we can express contrast or make a comparison between
the trends. As these trends continue their directions the same way for the
rest
of the period, we need to focus on the comparison. Signaling the
comparison or contrast at the beginning of the second body paragraph helps
with better cohesion.
To draw a comparison, the figure for traveling by car had a steady rise
to reach the highest point with 80% in 2015. In contrast, the percentage
of people who took a bus noticeably dropped to nearly 30% at the end
of the given period.
(In both body paragraphs, there is a logical organization of the data. Using
different comparative structures, details, such as dates and percentages, and
academic vocabulary and phrases help with a clear description.)
Dostları ilə paylaş: 
