candidates. I joined them, becoming the tenth. Baba Zaman waved his hand, gesturing at us to wait for him
to finish. “There is something else you should know before you make up your mind.”
With that, the master told us the journey was beset with great danger and unprecedented hardships, and
there was no guarantee of coming back. Instantly all the hands went down. Except mine.
Baba Zaman looked me straight in the eye for the first time in a long while, and as soon as his gaze met
mine, I understood he knew right from the start that I would be the only one to volunteer.
“Shams of Tabriz,” the master said slowly and dourly, as if my name left a heavy taste in his mouth. “I
respect your determination, but you are not fully a member of this order. You are our guest.”
“I don’t see how that could be a problem,” I said.
The
master was silent for a long, reflective moment. Then, unexpectedly,
he came to his feet and
concluded, “Let’s drop this subject for the time being. When spring comes, we will talk again.”
My heart rebelled. Though he knew that this mission was the sole reason I had come to Baghdad in the
first place, Baba Zaman was robbing me of the chance to fulfill my destiny.
“Why, Master? Why wait when I am ready to go this very moment? Just tell me the name of the city and
the scholar and I will be on my way!” I exclaimed.
But the master retorted in a cold, stern voice I wasn’t used to hearing from him, “There is nothing to
discuss. The meeting is over.”
It was a long, harsh winter. The garden was frozen stiff, and so were my lips. For the next three months, I
didn’t speak a word to anyone. Every day I took long walks in the countryside, hoping to see a tree in
blossom. But after snow came more snow. Spring wasn’t anywhere on the horizon. Still, as low-spirited
as I was outside, I remained grateful and hopeful inside, keeping in mind yet another rule. There was a
rule that suited my mood:
Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do
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