The Importance of Being Earnest

Algernon.
Then your wife will. You don’t seem to realise, that in married life 
three is company and two is none. 
Jack.
[Sententiously.] That, my dear young friend, is the theory that the 
corrupt French Drama has been propounding for the last fifty years. 
Algernon.
Yes; and that the happy English home has proved in half the time. 
Jack.
For heaven’s sake, don’t try to be cynical. It’s perfectly easy to be 
cynical. 
Algernon.
My dear fellow, it isn’t easy to be anything nowadays. There’s 
such a lot of beastly competition about. [The sound of an electric bell is 
heard.] Ah! that must be Aunt Augusta. Only relatives, or creditors, ever 
ring in that Wagnerian manner. Now, if I get her out of the way for ten 
minutes, so that you can have an opportunity for proposing to Gwendolen, 
may I dine with you to-night at Willis’s? 
Jack.
I suppose so, if you want to. 
10

---

Algernon.
Yes, but you must be serious about it. I hate people who are not 
serious about meals. It is so shallow of them. 
[Enter 
Lane
.] 
Lane.
Lady Bracknell and Miss Fairfax. 
[
Algernon
goes forward to meet them. Enter 
Lady 
Bracknell
and 
Gwendolen
.] 
Lady Bracknell.
Good afternoon, dear Algernon, I hope you are behaving 
very well. 
Algernon.
I’m feeling very well, Aunt Augusta. 
Lady Bracknell.
That’s not quite the same thing. In fact the two things 
rarely go together. [Sees 
Jack
and bows to him with icy coldness.] 
Algernon.
[To 
Gwendolen
.] Dear me, you are smart! 
Gwendolen.
I am always smart! Am I not, Mr. Worthing?