The Importance of Being Earnest By Oscar Wilde.
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F
IRST
A
CT
SCENE
Morning-room in Algernon’s flat in Half-Moon Street. The room is
luxuriously and artistically furnished. The sound
of a piano is heard in the
adjoining room.
[
Lane
is arranging afternoon tea on the table, and after the music has
ceased,
Algernon
enters.]
Algernon.
Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?
Lane._Yes,_sir._Algernon._And,_speaking_of_the_science_of_Life,_have_you_got_the_cucumber_sandwiches_cut_for_Lady_Bracknell_Lane.'>Lane.
I didn’t think it polite
to listen, sir.
Algernon.
I’m sorry for that, for your sake. I don’t play accurately—any one
can play accurately—but I play with wonderful expression. As far as the
piano is concerned, sentiment is my forte. I keep science for Life.
Lane.
Yes, sir.
Algernon.
And, speaking of the science of Life, have you got the
cucumber
sandwiches cut for Lady Bracknell?
Lane.
Yes, sir. [Hands them on a salver.]
Algernon.
[Inspects them, takes two, and sits down on the sofa.] Oh! . . . by
the way, Lane, I see from your book that on Thursday night, when Lord
Shoreman and Mr. Worthing were dining with me, eight bottles of
champagne are entered as having been consumed.
Lane.
Yes, sir; eight bottles and a pint.
Algernon.
Why is it that at a bachelor’s
establishment the servants
invariably drink the champagne? I ask merely for information.
Lane.
I attribute it to the superior quality of the wine, sir. I have often
observed that in married households the champagne is rarely of a first-rate
brand.
Algernon.
Good heavens! Is marriage so demoralising as that?
2
Lane.
I believe it
is
a very pleasant state, sir. I have had very little
experience of it myself up to the present.
I have only been married
once. That was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and
a young person.
