that the physical, mental, and emotional pain from such a horrific
wreck would be the lowest point in any person’s life. However, this
wasn’t the case for me.
You see,
after my car accident, I had people taking care of me. In
the hospital, my family never left my side. I was constantly
surrounded by visitors—friends and family coming by daily to check
on me and shower me with love and support.
I had an incredible staff
of doctors and nurses overseeing every step of my care and recovery.
My food was prepared and delivered to me. I didn’t even have the
everyday stresses of having to work and pay the bills. Life in the
hospital was easy.
That wasn’t the case the second time around. Nobody felt sorry
for me. I didn’t have any visitors. There
was no one there to oversee
my care and recovery. Nobody brought me any food. I was on my own
this time. People had their own problems to deal with.
A domino effect led to struggles in every area of my life.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially—you name it—I
was a mess.
I had so much fear and uncertainty that
the only comfort I found
each day was my own bed. As pathetic as it may sound, what got me
through each day was the peace of mind from knowing I could
eventually crawl into bed and temporarily escape my problems.
Thoughts of suicide circled my mind daily. Not that I would ever have
actually followed through with it. Suicide is not only one of the most
selfish decisions someone can make (as
it hurts so many other
people), but deep down, I knew that no matter how bad life gets, there
is
always a way to turn it around. But the thoughts were still there. I
just didn’t see a solution to my financial crisis. I couldn’t think of
anything else that would put an end to my emotional pain.
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