(or perhaps some healthier alternative), while relishing a career that blends my two loves of medicine
and law in perfect harmony.
REVIEW
Shang’s essay is unconventional right from the beginning. A McDonald’s Dollar Menu does not seem
like the type of place for an epiphany, but Shang manages to tie his extravagant McDonald’s lunch to
his personal life in a humorous but genuine way. Though the writing is occasionally over-the-top—
with phrases like “my thoughts blossomed into maturity” or “blends my two loves of medicine and
law in perfect harmony”—there is no doubt that the author is passionate about these fields. After
reading this essay, there is also little doubt that Shang knows what he wants to do with at least the first
few years of college, and that assuredness is difficult to get across in an essay without sounding
arrogant.
There is really only one
line of argument in this essay, but it is a relief that the author does not
waste page space trying to squeeze in his high school accomplishments. Shang mentions that he had
filled his plate in high school with “activities concerning my two passions,” but there are no forced
references to specific club names or honors received. Because the goal of the essay is to convince the
reader that Shang is a driven student who has two strong interests, the economical use of plotline and
description draws attention to Shang’s fluent writing and his apparent determination to study both
biology and political science. The essay itself reflects Shang’s
ability to argue, and through the
simple organization of his words, Shang reveals an important aspect of being a lawyer or a doctor—
to cut right to the chase.
Shang also inserts subtle and amusing puns into his essay. He writes that his “appetite for medicine
and law became even more ferocious,” and that he looks forward to “relishing a career” that
combines the two areas of study. So, while some would prefer to have their cheese on the side, Shang
has served up an enjoyable essay.
—Virginia Marshall