50 Successful Harvard Application Essays

M
ALIZA 
K
.
Picture in your mind a rheumatoid arthritis patient. Let me guess: elderly woman, hair gray or
graying, right? Eight and a half years ago, I would have had the exact same image in my own mind,
but my life took a course that proves that there are rheumatoid arthritis patients who do not fall in the
typical category.
During third grade, I was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA). I distinctly
remember the day things changed. One day I was having the time of my childhood life, playing
volleyball with friends at recess, and the next I was bedridden, unable to move without feeling
excruciating pain. Needless to say, the sudden change was disconcerting as it would be for an eight-
year-old, or anyone for that matter.
Although I now see how lucky it is that JRA is a manageable illness, my third-grade self was not as
easily assured. The first thing that came to mind was “Why?” Why did simple everyday tasks
suddenly cause me pain? So, I promptly did what I am sure is every doctor ’s worst nightmare: I
turned to the Internet for information. As a third grader, there was only so much I could find out. My
research extended about as far as a simple Google search could take me, but at that age, it was enough
for me to just know that it was not life threatening. However, as I grew into my early high school
years, I found myself wanting to know more about JRA’s causes and treatments. Once again, I took to
the Internet—this time with a more mature, Internet-savvy mind. Many alternative treatments had
explanations regarding how they work, but my particular treatment plan did not. Instead of finding all
the answers I sought, I was left wondering why taking six tiny tablets of methotrexate once a week
managed to keep the pain at bay. Methotrexate’s mechanism in JRA remains unknown and it is
something that still occupies my mind.
Eight and a half years later after diagnosis, I have stopped taking methotrexate and am a few short
steps away from an arthritis-free existence. However, for me, being diagnosed with JRA does not act
as a hindrance, but instead propels me even further in my desire to pursue a career in the biomedical
field. Every twinge of pain I feel essentially works to boost my motivation. This past summer rather
than reading the research of other scientists on the Internet, I became the researcher as I worked in a
lab in the National Institutes of Health Center for Cancer Research. Although my research was not
related to my own illness, it still caught my interest because I knew it could help someone suffering a
much more serious fate to understand what is going on within their body and what can be done to stop
it. My research experience deepened my investment in understanding the “whys” of life from the
molecular level all the way up to the whole-body impact. In my particular department of pediatric
oncology, it was fairly obvious that not all the patients have the same happy ending that I am living,

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but it is this discrepancy that pushes me to challenge myself to someday provide real-world people
with their own happy endings.
REVIEW
In her essay, Maliza explains the origins of her passion for research, drawing a connection between
her childhood struggle with a debilitating disease and her experience working in a lab. The
“overcoming obstacles” genre of college essays all too often falls into the trap of self-pity, but
Maliza frankly and openly tells her story in a style that avoids self-indulgence entirely and brings to
life a personality that is both optimistic and engaging. Her tone is refreshing in its simplicity and the
essay reads almost like a conversational monologue, adding vitality to what could easily have been a
five-hundred-word cliché.
The strengths of this essay lie in its skillful combination of powerful content and frank expression.
Its weighty subject matter is balanced nicely by its casual style. Maliza brings her readers into her
story from the very beginning, addressing them directly and encouraging them to challenge their
preconceived notions of rheumatoid arthritis, as she had to do when confronted with the disease as a
child. Her brief but vivid description of “the day things changed” introduces a surprisingly relatable
narrative that successfully maintains the interest of the reader as it follows Maliza’s journey toward
research. The image of a third grader using Google to find information about her illness is an honest
and endearing one that effectively bridges the gap between Maliza’s childhood obstacles and her
ultimate interest in research.
Maliza’s essay is effective in providing insight into not only the obstacles she has faced but also
the ways in which those obstacles have shaped her passions and worldview.
—Christina M. Teodorescu

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