Overall, I feel that zoos provide a valuable service to society and the animal world, as they
help to protect many species. This outweighs their possible disadvantages, as long as they are
properly staffed and maintained.
(281 words)
Examiner’s comments
This would be a band 9 essay. The style is academic but not excessively formal, and the
writer gives a personal opinion without emotion or humour. Both sides of the topic are discussed,
using clear examples to illustrate the points. There is a logical flow from the points supporting zoos
into the conclusion, which also supports the zoos. The language used is academic (e.g.
conversely,
thus) without being technical or archaic. Linking phrases are used to guide the reader helpfully (e.g.
furthermore, overall.) The conclusion includes a proviso (
as long as they are . . .) which is a strong
feature in academic writing.
Example Task 3
Dostları ilə paylaş: