Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change pdfdrive com

The Wrong Internal Conversation: Why I’m a Disaster at Golf (and You
Might Be, Too)
As you develop your mental aim, you also need to determine what conversation
is currently in your head and how it may need to change. Even when you aren’t
paying attention, your internal conversation is always happening.
Scott Eblin, author of The Next Level, convincingly describes intention as a
“swing thought,” likening it to the last thing golfers think before their club
strikes the ball.
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(Eblin is a coaching colleague from Georgetown, and I have to
thank him for the original comparison of intention to athletic focus—a common
reference that’s helpful for so many people to think about.)
For anyone who has played golf, you readily get the swing-thought idea. And
even if you haven’t, you can probably understand how hitting that tiny ball dead-
solid perfect requires a whole lot of mental focus. It’s the make-or-break factor.
When I was in my early thirties, I decided to learn golf. I took lessons, got
the right clubs, and practiced diligently. At the driving range with the pro, I
wasn’t half bad. However, I was terrible when I got on the course. Competitive
and averse to failure, I was self-conscious about how I played compared to
others around me. I’d choke when I got to the tee and have an all-around
miserable game. When I was paired with other golfers, it got even worse. Still I
kept trying, remaining furious at myself for hitting well in practice and then
falling apart on the course. After a few years with no improvement, I gave it up.
My golf-playing days were before I was a coach. At the time, I didn’t have
the ability to fully understand what was happening. When I got up to the tee, my
swing thought was literally, “Don’t embarrass yourself.” Is it any wonder that I
was such a disaster?
Negative swing thoughts are alive and well off the golf course. I hear them
from clients all the time, either stated or unstated. They include:
— I can’t speak in public.
— I’m not a people person.

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— I’ll appear self-promoting.
— I’m an introvert and can’t network well.
— I’m just not good in these situations.
— I don’t have what it takes to play the office politics game.
Any of these pretexts sound familiar? If this is where you are placing your
mental focus, you can bet it’s showing up in your presence, and maybe even
screaming.
Neuroleadership is discussed in-depth in Chapter 9. One of the main findings
of those studying in this field is that our intentions actually shape how the human
brain functions. The intentions that we hold in our head, either positive or
negative, create mental shortcuts that become a veritable path of least resistance.
The more we think something, the easier it is for our mind to process it. That’s
why it’s critical to be fully aware of any negative thoughts blocking your
progress. I’ve included an exercise (see sidebar) to help you “uncover your
negative thoughts.”
The intentions we hold in our head create mental shortcuts that become a
path of least resistance.