George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

hail from the Captain, who has just emerged from his pantry].
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Whither away, Boss Mangan?
MANGAN
. To hell out of this house: let that be enough for
you and all here.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. You were welcome to come: you
are free to go. The wide earth, the high seas, the spacious
skies are waiting for you outside.
LADY UTTERWORD
. But your things, Mr Mangan. Your
bag, your comb and brushes, your pyjamas—
HECTOR 
[who has just appeared in the port doorway in a
handsome Arab costume]. Why should the escaping slave take
his chains with him?
MANGAN
. That’s right, Hushabye. Keep the pyjamas, my
lady, and much good may they do you.
HECTOR 
[advancing to Lady Utterword’s left hand]. Let us
all go out into the night and leave everything behind us.
MANGAN
. You stay where you are, the lot of you. I want
no company, especially female company.
ELLIE
. Let him go. He is unhappy here. He is angry with us.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Go, Boss Mangan; and when you
have found the land where there is happiness and where there

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94
Heartbreak House
are no women, send me its latitude and longitude; and I will
join you there.
LADY UTTERWORD
. You will certainly not be comfort-
able without your luggage, Mr Mangan.
ELLIE 
[impatient]. Go, go: why don’t you go? It is a heav-
enly night: you can sleep on the heath. Take my waterproof
to lie on: it is hanging up in the hall.
HECTOR
. Breakfast at nine, unless you prefer to breakfast
with the captain at six.
ELLIE
. Good night, Alfred.
HECTOR
. Alfred! [He runs back to the door and calls into the
garden]. Randall, Mangan’s Christian name is Alfred.
RANDALL 
[appearing in the starboard doorway in evening
dress]. Then Hesione wins her bet.
Mrs Hushabye appears in the port doorway. She throws her left
arm round Hector’s neck: draws him with her to the back of the
sofa: and throws her right arm round Lady Utterword’s neck.
MRS HUSHABYE
. They wouldn’t believe me, Alf.
They contemplate him.
MANGAN
. Is there any more of you coming in to look at
me, as if I was the latest thing in a menagerie?
MRS HUSHABYE
. You are the latest thing in this menag-
erie.
Before Mangan can retort, a fall of furniture is heard from up-
stairs: then a pistol shot, and a yell of pain. The staring group
breaks up in consternation.
MAZZINI’S VOICE 
[from above]. Help! A burglar! Help!
HECTOR 
[his eyes blazing]. A burglar!!!
MRS HUSHABYE
. No, Hector: you’ll be shot [but it is too
late; he has dashed out past Mangan, who hastily moves to-
wards the bookshelves out of his way].
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER 
[blowing his whistle]. All hands
aloft! [He strides out after Hector].
LADY UTTERWORD
. My diamonds! [She follows the cap-
tain].
RANDALL 
[rushing after her]. No. Ariadne. Let me.

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95
GB Shaw
ELLIE
. Oh, is papa shot? [She runs out].
MRS HUSHABYE
. Are you frightened, Alf?
MANGAN
. No. It ain’t my house, thank God.
MRS HUSHABYE
. If they catch a burglar, shall we have to
go into court as witnesses, and be asked all sorts of questions
about our private lives?
MANGAN
. You won’t be believed if you tell the truth.
Mazzini, terribly upset, with a duelling pistol in his hand, comes