George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

Exclaiming together.
HESIONE. 
Married to him!
LADY UTTERWORD. 
Guinness!!
THE BURGLAR
. It wasn’t legal. I’ve been married to no
end of women. No use coming that over me.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Take him to the forecastle [he flings
him to the door with a strength beyond his years].
GUINNESS
. I suppose you mean the kitchen. They won’t
have him there. Do you expect servants to keep company
with thieves and all sorts?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Land-thieves and water-thieves are
the same flesh and blood. I’ll have no boatswain on my quar-
ter-deck. Off with you both.
THE BURGLAR
. Yes, Captain. [He goes out humbly].
MAZZINI
. Will it be safe to have him in the house like
that?
GUINNESS
. Why didn’t you shoot him, sir? If I’d known
who he was, I’d have shot him myself. [She goes out].
MRS HUSHABYE
. Do sit down, everybody. [She sits down
on the sofa].
They all move except Ellie. Mazzini resumes his seat. Randall sits
down in the window-seat near the starboard door, again making
a pendulum of his poker, and studying it as Galileo might have
done. Hector sits on his left, in the middle. Mangan, forgotten,
sits in the port corner. Lady Utterword takes the big chair. Cap-
tain Shotover goes into the pantry in deep abstraction. They all
look after him: and Lady Utterword coughs consciously.
MRS HUSHABYE
. So Billy Dunn was poor nurse’s little
romance. I knew there had been somebody.
RANDALL
. They will fight their battles over again and en-
joy themselves immensely.
LADY UTTERWORD 
[irritably]. You are not married; and
you know nothing about it, Randall. Hold your tongue.
RANDALL
. Tyrant!
MRS HUSHABYE
. Well, we have had a very exciting
evening. Everything will be an anticlimax after it. We’d bet-
ter all go to bed.

---

101
GB Shaw
RANDALL
. Another burglar may turn up.
MAZZINI
. Oh, impossible! I hope not.
RANDALL
. Why not? There is more than one burglar in
England.
MRS HUSHABYE
. What do you say, Alf?
MANGAN 
[huffily]. Oh, I don’t matter. I’m forgotten. The
burglar has put my nose out of joint. Shove me into a corner
and have done with me.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[jumping up mischievously, and going to
him]. Would you like a walk on the heath, Alfred? With me?
ELLIE
. Go, Mr Mangan. It will do you good. Hesione will
soothe you.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[slipping her arm under his and pulling
him upright]. Come, Alfred. There is a moon: it’s like the
night in Tristan and Isolde. [She caresses his arm and draws
him to the port garden door].
MANGAN 
[writhing but yielding]. How you can have the
face-the heart-[he breaks down and is heard sobbing as she takes
him out].
LADY UTTERWORD
. What an extraordinary way to be-
have! What is the matter with the man?
ELLIE 
[in a strangely calm voice, staring into an imaginary
distance]. His heart is breaking: that is all. [The captain ap-
pears at the pantry door, listening]. It is a curious sensation:
the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of
feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned:
nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the
beginning of peace.
LADY UTTERWORD 
[suddenly rising in a rage, to the as-
tonishment of the rest]. How dare you?
HECTOR
. Good heavens! What’s the matter?
RANDALL 
[in a warning whisper]. Tch—tch-tch! Steady.
ELLIE 
[surprised and haughty]. I was not addressing you par-
ticularly, Lady Utterword. And I am not accustomed to
being asked how dare I.
LADY UTTERWORD
. Of course not. Anyone can see how
badly you have been brought up.
MAZZINI
. Oh, I hope not, Lady Utterword. Really!

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102
Heartbreak House
LADY UTTERWORD
. I know very well what you meant.
The impudence!
ELLIE
. What on earth do you mean?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER 
[advancing to the table]. She means
that her heart will not break. She has been longing all her life
for someone to break it. At last she has become afraid she
has none to break.
LADY UTTERWORD 
[flinging herself on her knees and