George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

sits down at the port end of it in the worst of humors].
MAZZINI 
[following her and taking the other end]. No: I’m
no good at making money. I don’t care enough for it, some-
how. I’m not ambitious! that must be it. Mangan is wonder-
ful about money: he thinks of nothing else. He is so dread-
fully afraid of being poor. I am always thinking of other
things: even at the works I think of the things we are doing
and not of what they cost. And the worst of it is, poor Mangan
doesn’t know what to do with his money when he gets it. He
is such a baby that he doesn’t know even what to eat and
drink: he has ruined his liver eating and drinking the wrong
things; and now he can hardly eat at all. Ellie will diet him
splendidly. You will be surprised when you come to know
him better: he is really the most helpless of mortals. You get
quite a protective feeling towards him.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Then who manages his business, pray?
MAZZINI
. I do. And of course other people like me.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Footling people, you mean.
MAZZINI
. I suppose you’d think us so.
MRS HUSHABYE
. And pray why don’t you do without
him if you’re all so much cleverer?
MAZZINI
. Oh, we couldn’t: we should ruin the business in
a year. I’ve tried; and I know. We should spend too much on
everything. We should improve the quality of the goods and
make them too dear. We should be sentimental about the
hard cases among the work people. But Mangan keeps us in
order. He is down on us about every extra halfpenny. We
could never do without him. You see, he will sit up all night

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84
Heartbreak House
thinking of how to save sixpence. Won’t Ellie make him jump,
though, when she takes his house in hand!
MRS HUSHABYE
. Then the creature is a fraud even as a
captain of industry!
MAZZINI
. I am afraid all the captains of industry are what
you call frauds, Mrs Hushabye. Of course there are some
manufacturers who really do understand their own works;
but they don’t make as high a rate of profit as Mangan does.
I assure you Mangan is quite a good fellow in his way. He
means well.
MRS HUSHABYE
. He doesn’t look well. He is not in his
first youth, is he?
MAZZINI
. After all, no husband is in his first youth for
very long, Mrs Hushabye. And men can’t afford to marry in
their first youth nowadays.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Now if I said that, it would sound witty.
Why can’t you say it wittily? What on earth is the matter
with you? Why don’t you inspire everybody with confidence?
with respect?
MAZZINI 
[humbly]. I think that what is the matter with
me is that I am poor. You don’t know what that means at
home. Mind: I don’t say they have ever complained. They’ve
all been wonderful: they’ve been proud of my poverty. They’ve
even joked about it quite often. But my wife has had a very
poor time of it. She has been quite resigned—
MRS HUSHABYE 
[shuddering involuntarily!!
MAZZINI
. There! You see, Mrs Hushabye. I don’t want Ellie
to live on resignation.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Do you want her to have to resign her-
self to living with a man she doesn’t love?
MAZZINI 
[wistfully]. Are you sure that would be worse than
living with a man she did love, if he was a footling person?
MRS HUSHABYE 
[relaxing her contemptuous attitude, quite
interested in Mazzini now]. You know, I really think you must
love Ellie very much; for you become quite clever when you
talk about her.
MAZZINI
. I didn’t know I was so very stupid on other sub-
jects.
MRS HUSHABYE
. You are, sometimes.
MAZZINI 
[turning his head away; for his eyes are wet]. I have

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85
GB Shaw
learnt a good deal about myself from you, Mrs Hushabye;
and I’m afraid I shall not be the happier for your plain speak-
ing. But if you thought I needed it to make me think of
Ellie’s happiness you were very much mistaken.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[leaning towards him kindly]. Have I been
a beast?
MAZZINI 
[pulling himself together]. It doesn’t matter about
me, Mrs Hushabye. I think you like Ellie; and that is enough
for me.
MRS HUSHABYE
. I’m beginning to like you a little. I per-
fectly loathed you at first. I thought you the most odious,
self-satisfied, boresome elderly prig I ever met.
MAZZINI 
[resigned, and now quite cheerful]. I daresay I am
all that. I never have been a favorite with gorgeous women
like you. They always frighten me.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[pleased]. Am I a gorgeous woman,
Mazzini? I shall fall in love with you presently.
MAZZINI 
[with placid gallantry]. No, you won’t, Hesione.
But you would be quite safe. Would you believe it that quite
a lot of women have flirted with me because I am quite safe?
But they get tired of me for the same reason.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[mischievously]. Take care. You may not
be so safe as you think.
MAZZINI
. Oh yes, quite safe. You see, I have been in love
really: the sort of love that only happens once. [Softly]. That’s
why Ellie is such a lovely girl.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Well, really, you are coming out. Are
you quite sure you won’t let me tempt you into a second
grand passion?
MAZZINI
. Quite. It wouldn’t be natural. The fact is, you
don’t strike on my box, Mrs Hushabye; and I certainly don’t
strike on yours.
MRS HUSHABYE
. I see. Your marriage was a safety match.
MAZZINI
. What a very witty application of the expression
I used! I should never have thought of it.