Construct: desire for containment - freedom The client seems to be establishing her relationship with the counsellor as she feels comfortable
and safe. She is able to question why she still needs to „punish‟ herself and she also seems to
allow herself to feel the depth of her pain as if the safety that enabled her to cry gave her the
freedom to experience her own feelings in the presence of the counsellor. She appears to
demonstrate her desire to contain her own feelings and experience as she felt safe enough share
part of her internal world.
353
Week 6. Line 1.
Deep painful revelations.
Line 2.
Pain of childhood - disconnection
Line 3.
of doll‟s head + body = abuse.
Line 4.
Mother not there „head‟ could
Line 5.
not cope with what happening.
Line 6.
realized always alone + partly
Line 7.
parented self.
Line 8.
Surviving against all odds + seen as
problem
Line 9.
Don‟t be so hard on self (Brenda/Co.)
Line 10.
Anger to self - staying so long in neg‟
Line 11.
ways. Can be diff‟ to have someone there
NEW
The deep painful revelations (line 1) in this session suggest abuse (line 3) in the client‟s
childhood, and although this feels like sexual abuse there is no way of being certain of this. She
writes of disconnection (line 2) as if she had to cut off from what happened to her. And this
appears to be emphasized by the separation of a doll‟s head from it body which equals abuse
(lines 2,3). As her mother was not there (line 4) the client‟s „head‟ was unable to cope with what
was happening (lines 4,5) and this seemed to make her feel as if she was always alone (line 6), as
if she experienced a sense of isolation when she was far too young to be able to deal with it. She
also feels that this caused her to partly parent herself (lines 6,7) as if this isolated child had to
manage what happened all alone. She seems to feel that she survived against all the odds (line 8)
as if part of her realizes that to survive has been quite an accomplishment yet she was seen as a
problem (line 8). Perhaps her behaviour was seen as a problem by others who knew nothing of
what had happened to her. Although she seems to be exhorting herself not to be so hard on
herself she implies that these are the words of others which she perhaps needs to internalise. And
it seems that she feels angry (line 10) with herself for staying so long in such negative ways as if
she is still punishing herself. But she ends by suggesting that the past can be different (line11)
when she can have someone there with her. She notes that this is new as if she is feeling that the
354
counsellor has been present with her as she has re-experienced the past abuse.