Conversational features: politeness

2. Speech etiquette and language norm Speech etiquette is an essential part of culture, behavior and human communication. Social relationships and norms of behavior are fixed in speech etiquette formulae. Etiquette norms are encoded in sayings, proverbs, idioms, set phrases such as: Welcome! How do you do! Farewell! Thank you! etc. Being an element of national culture, speech etiquette has a clear national coloring. In linguistics etiquette is understood as a system of rules and conventions that regulates social and professional behavior. In any social unit there are accepted rules of behavior upheld and enforced by legal codes, or by customs and enforced by group pressure. Regardless of the type of national culture, any society possesses the etiquette, and every person knows the behavior expected from him towards others and from others toward himself (Etiquette, 2015). The word “etiquette” came from French and entered the English language about 1740-1750. In French it meant memorandum, derivative of étiqu(i) (- to attach, stick) (op.cit.). The sense developed in French from small cards written or printed with instructions how to behave properly at court and/or from behavior instructions written on a soldier’s billet for lodgings. At the beginning of the XVIII century etiquette norms were mostly written in periodicals such as The Spectator, The Tattler, where readers could learn what kind of conversations to have and what subjects to talk about, if they wanted to look like educated gentlemen of a society. Henry Hitchings, a famous British writer, critic and researcher assumes, the first appearance of the word “etiquette” can be found in the collection of letters written by the fourth earl of Chesterfield Philip Stanhope to his son, in which he gave instructions how to become a gentleman (Hitchings, 2013). As Hutchings put it, the word “etiquette” was then understood as a code of conduct, as an idea of self-control, as a virtue. Manners are different from etiquette: etiquette in this modern age is a quaint set of rules for the socially insecure – as old-fashioned as debutantes. Manners, conversely, might be taken to mean natural grace, and treating all with equal consideration. Hitchings sees it more formally: manners, a word suggesting broad principles of behavior, and ‘etiquette’, which denotes the actions that articulate those principles (McKay, 2013). Speech etiquette in a narrow meaning of the term can be defined as a system of language means where etiquette relationships are revealed. The elements of this system can be actualized at various linguistic levels. At the lexical level etiquette relationships are marked with the help of special expressions and set phrases (Thank you; Please; excuse me; Good-bye; etc.), special forms of address (Mr., Miss, Mrs., Madame, Ms, etc). At the level of grammar organization it is supported by polite forms of the language (the use of pronouns in plural form: vous, вы); the use of interrogative sentences instead of imperative ones (Could you possibly help me?) At stylistic level it is expressed in the use of literary high flown language forms of official standard, and the ban of obscene lexis which are replaced by euphemisms (Ryabova, 2013). Etiquette is also marked at phonetic and prosodic levels of language which means that a special intonation is used (of polite model). At the communicative level it presupposes a prohibition to interfere into a conversation or to interrupt it, etc. Speech etiquette can be analyzed from the point of view of language norm. Thus, understanding of right cultural normalized types of speech includes in itself the definite speech etiquette.
Specification of speech etiquette means that it does not only characterize everyday life practices, but also it determines speech norms. Elements of speech etiquette are present in everyday discourse practice of any person, who easily recognizes these norms and expects from the communicator to use them in special contexts. Elements of speech etiquette are set so deep that they are perceived by naive consciousness as a part of everyday natural behavior. If a person doesn’t know these norms or deliberately breaks them, it is interpreted as a wish to insult somebody, or as a breach of breeding, or as his/her attribution to other culture, or to a different social class. On the other hand, speech etiquette can be assessed in the aspect of language norm. E.g., every person whose native language is English, knows some conversational formulae, expressing excuse; though some expressions are regarded as language norm (sorry, excuse me), while others are rejected, like for e.g. “pardon”. The fact of avoidance of some expressions from language use can already be regarded as an object of standardization: e.g. formulae of excuse are adequate when the speaker disturbs his conversational partner, though to ask for an excuse too often is not advisable, since the partner is put in an awkward position by this. Besides, the breach of norms and rules of literary language, when it looks like carelessness, is a breach of etiquette in itself. The borderline between an everyday speech discourse and a norm in speech etiquette is flexible. Practical implementation of speech etiquette usually differs from standard models not only because of non-acquaintance of the communicants with the rules. The deviation from the rule as well as strict adherence to it can testify the speaker's attitude to the hearer or his/her perception of a situation.