Continued Over…
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Copyright © 2010 by Lindsay Price, All Rights Reserved
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by Lindsay Price
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S
hakeSpearean
I
nSultS
How
to make an Insult
There are three columns on the other side of
this page: A, B, and C. To make an insult,
pick one word from each column and string
them together.
For example, taking the first word in each
column gives you the insult: “artless base-
court apple-john.”
How to use your Insults
1) Write a short, simple scene, or use the one
below.
A: Hey!
B: Hello there.
A: Let me by, I have to cross this bridge.
B: You can’t.
A: Why not?
B: Because.
A: Cause why?
B: Cause there’s a bear on the other
side.
A: Why didn’t you say so?
2) Pepper your scene with an many insults
as you like.
A: Hey thou gorbellied, motley-minded
hugger-mugger!
B: Hello there thou yeasty, clapper-
clawed strumpet.
A: Let me by, thou frothy dizzy-eyed
maggot pie. I have to cross this bridge.
B: You can’t.
A: Why not?
B: Because, thou surly guts gripping
harpy.
A: Cause why, thou dankish sheep
biting pignut?
B: Cause there’s a bear on the other
side.
A: Why didn’t you say so, thou mewling
swagbellied footlicker?
3) Read them aloud.
You too can speak
Shakespeare!
Nothing
sounds more authentic
than insults.
Theatrefolk
Original Playscripts