Games People Play

Antithesis
. It takes some sophistication for the woman to play her part well, and a great deal of 
sulkiness or stupidity for her to refuse to play it at all. The proper complement is a variant of "Gee 
You're Wonderful Mr. Murgatroyd" (GYWM): namely, "I Admire Your Productions, Mr. M." If 
the woman is mechanical or unperceptive, she may respond with plain GYWM, but that misses the 
point: what White is offering for appreciation is not himself, but his poetry. The brutal antithesis 
from a sulky woman is to play Second-Degree "Rapo" ("Buzz Off, Buster"). Third-Degree "Rapo," 
which could conceivably occur, would of course be an unspeakably vile response under the 
circumstances. If the woman is merely stupid, she will play First-Degree "Rapo," taking the 
compliments to feed her vanity and neglecting to appreciate Whites creative efforts and abilities. In 
general, the game is spoiled if the woman treats it as an attempt at seduction rather than as a literary 
exhibition. 
Relatives
. "Cavalier" being a game, it must be distinguished from the operations and procedures 
carried on during a straightforward courtship, which are simple transactions without ulterior motive. 
The female counterpart of Cavalier" may be conveniently called "Blarney," since it is often played 
by gallant Irish ladies in their sunset years. 
PARTIAL ANALYSIS
Aim
: Mutual admiration.
Roles
: Poet, Appreciative subject.
Social Paradigm
: Adult-Adult. 
Adult (male): "See how good I can make you feel." 
Adult (female): "My, but you make me feel good." Psychological Paradigm: 
Child (male): "See what phrases I can create." Child (female): "My, but you're creative." 
Advantages
: (1) Internal Psychological—creativity and reassurance of attractiveness. (2) External 
Psychological —avoids rejection for unnecessary sexual advances. (3) Internal Social—"Cavalier." 
(4) External Social—these may be resigned. (5) Biological—mutual stroking. (6) Existential— I 
can live gracefully.