73
GB Shaw
doesn’t your husband invent something? He does nothing
but tell lies to women.
HECTOR
. Well, that is a form of invention, is it not? How-
ever, you are right: I ought to support my wife.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Indeed you shall do nothing of the sort:
I should never see you from breakfast to dinner. I want my
husband.
HECTOR
[
bitterly]. I might as well be your lapdog.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Do you want to be my breadwinner,
like the other poor husbands?
HECTOR
. No, by thunder! What a damned creature a hus-
band is anyhow!
MRS HUSHABYE
[
to the captain]. What about that har-
poon cannon?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. No use. It kills whales, not men.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Why not? You fire the harpoon out of a
cannon. It sticks in the enemy’s general; you wind him in;
and there you are.
HECTOR
. You are your father’s daughter, Hesione.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. There is something in it. Not to
wind in generals: they are not dangerous. But one could fire
a grapnel and wind in a machine gun or even a tank. I will
think it out.
MRS HUSHABYE
[
squeezing the captain’s arm affectionately].
Saved! You are a darling, daddiest. Now we must go back to
these dreadful people and entertain them.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. They have had no dinner. Don’t
forget that.
HECTOR
. Neither have I. And it is dark: it must be all
hours.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Oh, Guinness will produce some sort
of dinner for them. The servants always take jolly good care
that there is food in the house.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
[
raising a strange wail in the dark-
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