51
Shaw
LIZA
. Walk! Not bloody likely. [
Sensation]. I am going in a
taxi. [
She goes out].
Pickering gasps and sits down. Freddy goes out on the balcony to
catch another glimpse of Eliza.
MRS.
EYNSFORD HILL
[
suffering from shock] Well, I re-
ally can’t get used to the new ways.
CLARA
[
throwing herself discontentedly into the Elizabethan
chair]. Oh, it’s all right, mamma, quite right. People will
think we never go anywhere or see anybody if you are so old-
fashioned.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
. I daresay I am very old-fashioned;
but I do hope you won’t begin using that expression, Clara.
I have got accustomed to hear you talking about men as
rotters, and calling everything filthy and beastly; though I
do think it horrible and unladylike. But this last is really too
much. Don’t you think so, Colonel Pickering?
PICKERING
. Don’t ask me. I’ve
been away in India for
several years; and manners have changed so much that I some-
times don’t know whether I’m at a respectable dinner-table
or in a ship’s forecastle.
CLARA
. It’s all a matter of habit. There’s no right or wrong
in it. Nobody means anything by it. And it’s so quaint, and
gives such a smart emphasis to things that are not in them-
selves very witty. I find the new small talk delightful and
quite innocent.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
[
rising] Well, after that, I think
it’s time for us to go.
Pickering and Higgins rise.
CLARA
[
rising] Oh yes: we have
three at homes to go to
still. Good-bye, Mrs. Higgins. Good-bye, Colonel Pickering.
Good-bye, Professor Higgins.
HIGGINS
[
coming grimly at her from the divan, and accom-
panying her to the door] Good-bye. Be sure you try on that
small talk at the three at-homes. Don’t be nervous about it.
Pitch it in strong.
CLARA
[
all smiles] I will. Good-bye. Such nonsense, all this
early Victorian prudery!
HIGGINS
[
tempting her] Such damned nonsense!
CLARA
. Such bloody nonsense!
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
[
convulsively] Clara!
52
Pygmalion
CLARA
. Ha! ha! [
She goes out radiant, conscious of being thor-
oughly up to date, and is heard descending the stairs in a stream
of silvery laughter].
FREDDY
[
to the heavens at large] Well, I ask you [
He gives it
up, and comes to Mrs. Higgins]. Good-bye.
MRS. HIGGINS
[
shaking hands] Good-bye. Would you like
to meet Miss Doolittle again?
FREDDY
[
eagerly] Yes, I should, most awfully.
MRS. HIGGINS
. Well, you know my days.
FREDDY
. Yes. Thanks awfully. Good-bye. [
He goes out].
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
. Good-bye, Mr. Higgins.
HIGGINS
. Good-bye. Good-bye.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
[
to Pickering] It’s no use. I shall
never be able to bring myself to use that word.
PICKERING
. Don’t. It’s not compulsory, you know. You’ll
get on quite well without it.
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
. Only,
Clara is so down on me if
I am not positively reeking with the latest slang. Good-bye.
PICKERING
. Good-bye [
They shake hands].
MRS. EYNSFORD HILL
[
to Mrs. Higgins] You mustn’t
mind Clara. [
Pickering, catching from her lowered tone that
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