Holding the interview
The four stages of counselling are very like those of coaching.
The main difference between them is a matter of emphasis.
Coaching is about reaching a goal and improving in some way;
counselling is essentially about removing some obstacle or
difficulty and simply being able to move on.
Welcome
You need to establish at the outset a positive relationship
between counsellor and counsellee. The counsellee will almost
certainly be feeling vulnerable and anything you can do to put
them at their ease – to create the trust and respect that they need
– is essential. Ask ‘What is the problem?’ (as the counsellee sees
it), ‘Where is the “blockage”?’
Acquire
Some aspect of this problem is probably ‘buried’: either
because the counsellee is unwilling to bring it to the surface (for
fear of the consequences) or because they are not aware of it.
Help them to step back and examine the possibilities of the
situation by asking questions such as:
• ‘Why do you think you feel this way?’
• ‘What kind of response do you think you might get if
you told X about this?’
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
111 Interviews: Holding a Formal Conversation
• ‘Who else has contributed to the problem?’
• ‘How do you think this has arisen?’
• ‘What might be the cause of the problem?’
You might consider making the interview more creative at this
stage by asking the counsellee to think about the problem in
radically different ways:
• ‘What does this problem look like?’
• ‘If you were the problem, how would you feel?’
• ‘Can you think of another way of expressing the
problem?’
In some situations, you may be able to help the counsellee to
transform the problem in some radical way. They probably see
the problem as a burden that they must bear, or an obstacle that
they must overcome. A key stage in taking ownership of the
problem is to see it instead as a goal for which they can take
responsibility.
Invite the counsellee to try to frame the problem as a ‘How to’
statement. The idea is that by doing so the problem becomes
expressed as an objective: a way forward that the counsellee
might want to take. A ‘How to’ statement also implies multiple
possibilities of movement: if you are asking ‘how to’ achieve a
goal, the mind immediately responds with ‘well, you might… or
you might…’ and so on.
Turning an obstacle into a goal is at the very heart of the
counselling process. You must use all your skill and sensitivity to
manage this most crucial part of the process. A counsellee may
all too easily feel pressure at this point to take ownership of a
problem when they have no desire to do so.
Supply
Now you must supply some possible courses of action and
consider their consequences. The counsellee should be moving
from emotion to a more considered attitude without any pressure
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.
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