Improve Your Communication Skills, 2nd Edition

according to context, to the degree of intention in 
giving them, and because they may not consistently 
reflect feeling. 
• Non-verbal messages are continuous
. We can stop talking 
but we can’t stop behaving! Language is bound by the 
structures of grammar. Non-verbal communication is 
not structured in the same way. 
• Non-verbal messages are multi-channel
. Everything is 
happening at once: eyes, hands, feet, body position. We 
interpret non-verbal messages holistically, as a whole 
impression. This makes them strong but unspecific, so 
that we may not be able to pin down exactly why we get 
the impression we do. 
• Non-verbal messages are culturally determined
. Research 
suggests that a few non-verbal messages are universal: 
everybody seems to smile when they are happy, for 
example. Most non-verbal behaviours, however, are 
specific to a culture. A lot of confusion can arise from 
the
misinterpretation of non-verbal messages across a 
cultural divide. 
Effective communicators manage their behaviour. They work 
hard to align their non-verbal messages with their words. You 
may feel that trying to manage your own behaviour in the same 
way is dishonest: ‘play-acting’ a part that you don’t necessarily 
feel. But we all act when we hold conversations. Managing our 
behaviour simply means trying to act appropriately. 
The most important things to manage are eye contact and 
body movement. By becoming more conscious of the way you use 
your eyes and move your limbs, you can reinforce the effect of 
your words and encourage the other person to contribute more 
fully to the conversation. Simple actions like keeping your limbs 
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