Improve Your Communication Skills, 2nd Edition

35 How Conversations Work
and hands still, or looking steadily at the speaker while they are 
speaking, can make a big and immediate difference to the quality 
of the conversation. 
Key factors: managing behaviour 
• 
Check the context.
Don’t try to interpret non-verbal 
messages in isolation from any others, or from the wider 
situation. Folded arms may mean that someone is hostile 
to your ideas, or that they are cold. 
• 
Look for clusters.
If you are picking up a group of 
non-verbal messages that seem to indicate a single 
feeling, you may be able to trust your interpretation more 
fully. 
• 
Consider past experience.
We can interpret more 
accurately the behaviour of people we know. We certainly 
notice changes in their behaviour. We also interpret 
patterns of behaviour over time more accurately than 
single instances. 
• 
Check your perceptions.
Ask questions. You are 
interpreting observed behaviour, not reading someone’s 
mind. Check out what you observe and make sure that 
your interpretation is accurate. 
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.

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Your success as a manager depends on your ability to hold 
effective and productive conversations. This chapter looks at 
seven proven strategies to help you improve your
conversations.
1. Clarify your objective. 
2. Structure your thinking. 
3. Manage your time. 
4. Find common ground. 
5. Move beyond argument. 
6. Summarise often. 
7. Use visuals. 
Don’t feel that you must apply all seven at once. Take a single 
strategy and work at it for a few days. (You should have plenty of 
conversations to practise on!) Once you feel that you have 
integrated that skill into your conversations, move on to
another. 
3
Seven ways to improve
your conversations
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.

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