Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
T
his book would not have been possible without my son
Brandon’s help. Brandon has been involved in helping me
shape and create these ideas since I first began teaching at
Georgetown University. He was initially just there to video-
record the classes but he also provided me feedback on how
it was going and what was working. To be fair, he actually
has been negotiating with me since he was two years old. I
think I’ve known that ever since I found out he was using
empathy to get out of trouble with his vice-principal in high
school. In my first meeting with my brilliant cowriter, Tahl
Raz, Brandon was there to keep the information flow going
as Tahl soaked it up. In the first progress conference call
with my amazing publisher, Hollis Heimbouch, Hollis asked
about Brandon’s role and Tahl said having Brandon around
was like having another Chris in the room. Brandon has
been indispensable.
Tahl Raz is a flat-out genius. Anyone who writes a
business book without him hasn’t gotten as far as they could
have. It’s that simple. I can’t believe how smart he is or how
quickly he gets it. He is a true business-writing artist. He’s a
great person as well.
Steve Ross, my agent, is a man of integrity and was

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perfect for this book. He has great industry knowledge and
made this book happen. I am grateful to know him.
Hollis Heimbouch rocks! I am thrilled that she led the
HarperCollins team and believed enough in this book to buy
it. Thank you, Hollis.
Thank you, Maya Stevenson, for coming onto the Black
Swan team and holding us together. We are going farther
because of you.
Sheila Heen and John Richardson are two amazing
people. They are the ones who really paved the way to show
that these hostage negotiation ideas belong in the business
world. Sheila was my teacher at Harvard Law School. She
inspired me with how she taught and who she is. She asked
me to teach alongside her two years later. John asked me to
teach International Business Negotiation at Harvard
alongside him a year after that. He guided me through that
process, which led to the opportunity to become an adjunct
at Georgetown. When nothing was happening for me, both
John and Sheila were there. Without them I don’t know
where I’d be. Thank you both.
Gary Noesner was my mentor at the FBI. He inspired
and remade the hostage negotiation world (with the help of
his team at the Crisis Negotiation Unit—CNU). He
supported me in whatever I wanted to do. He made me the
FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. I could call
Gary at five a.m. and tell him I was getting on a plane in
three hours to go to a kidnapping and he would say, “Go.”
His support never wavered. At CNU he pulled together the

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most talented collection of hostage negotiators ever
assembled. CNU hit its zenith when we were there. None of
us knew how lucky we were. John Flood, Vince Dalfonzo,
Chuck Regini, Winnie Miller, Manny Suarez, Dennis
Braiden, Neil Purtell, and Steve Romano were all rock stars.
I learned from you all. I can’t believe what Chuck put up
with from me as my partner. Dennis was a mentor and great
friend. I constantly clashed with Vince and grew because of
his talent.
All those who were on the FBI Critical Incident
Negotiation Team during that time taught me as well. Thank
you.
Tommy Corrigan and John Liguori were my brothers
when I was in New York City. The three of us did
extraordinary things together. I am inspired by the memory
of Tommy Corrigan to this day. I was privileged to be a
member of the Joint Terrorist Task Force. We fought evil.
Richie DeFilippo and Charlie Beaudoin were exceptional
wingmen on the Crisis Negotiation Team. Thank you both
for all you taught me.
Hugh McGowan and Bob Louden from the NYPD’s
Hostage Negotiation Team shared their wisdom with me.
Both of you have been indispensable assets to the hostage
negotiation world. Thank you.
Derek Gaunt has been a great wingman in the
Washington, D.C., metropolitan area. Derek gets it. Thank
you, Derek. Kathy Ellingsworth and her late husband, Bill,
have been dear friends and a sounding board for years. I am

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grateful for your support and friendship.
Tom Strentz is the godfather of the FBI’s hostage/crisis
negotiation program and has been an unwavering friend. I
can’t believe he still takes my calls.
My students at Georgetown and USC have constantly
proved that these ideas work everywhere. More than one
student has stopped breathing when I looked at them and
said, “I need a car in sixty seconds or she dies.” Thanks for
coming along for the ride. Georgetown and USC have both
been phenomenal places to teach. Both are truly dedicated
to higher learning, the highest academic standards, and the
success of their students.
The hostages and their families who allowed me in
during their darkest hours to try to help are all blessed
people. I am grateful to still be in touch with some of you
today. What wisdom there is in the universe that decided
your paths were necessary, I don’t understand. I was blessed
by your grace. (I need all the help I can get.)

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