SECTION IV: CALIBRATED QUESTIONS
Prepare three to five calibrated questions to reveal value to
you and your counterpart and identify and overcome
potential deal killers.
Effective negotiators look past their counterparts’ stated
positions (what the party demands) and delve into their
underlying motivations (what is making them want what
they want). Motivations are what they are worried about and
what they hope for, even lust for.
Figuring out what the other party is worried about
sounds simple, but our basic human expectations about
negotiation often get in the way. Most of us tend to assume
that the needs of the other side conflict with our own. We
tend to limit our field of vision to our issues and problems,
and forget that the other side has its own unique issues
based on its own unique worldview. Great negotiators get
past these blinders by being relentlessly curious about what
is really motivating the other side.
Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling has a great quote that
sums up this concept: “You must accept the reality of other
people. You think that reality is up for negotiation, that we
think it’s whatever you say it is. You must accept that we
are as real as you are; you must accept that you are not
God.”
There will be a small group of “What” and “How”
questions that you will find yourself using in nearly every
situation. Here are a few of them:
What are we trying to accomplish?
How is that worthwhile?
What’s the core issue here?
How does that affect things?
What’s the biggest challenge you face?
How does this fit into what the objective is?
QUESTIONS TO IDENTIFY BEHIND-THE-TABLE
DEAL KILLERS
When implementation happens by committee, the support of
that committee is key. You’ll want to tailor your calibrated
questions to identify and unearth the motivations of those
behind the table, including:
How does this affect the rest of your team?
How on board are the people not on this call?
What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in
this area?
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