negotiation often get in the way. Most of us tend to assume
that the needs of the other side conflict with our own. We
tend to limit our field of vision to our issues and problems,
and forget that the other side
has its own unique issues
based on its own unique worldview. Great negotiators get
past these blinders by being relentlessly curious about what
is
really motivating the other side.
Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling
has a great quote that
sums up this concept: “You must accept the reality of other
people. You think that reality is up for negotiation, that we
think it’s whatever you say it is.
You must accept that we
are as real as you are; you must accept that you are not
God.”
There will be a small group of “What” and “How”
questions that you will find yourself using in nearly every
situation. Here are a few of them:
What are we trying to accomplish?
How is that worthwhile?
What’s the core issue here?
How does that affect things?
What’s the biggest challenge you face?
How does this fit into what the objective is?
QUESTIONS TO IDENTIFY BEHIND-THE-TABLE
DEAL KILLERS
When implementation happens by committee, the support of
that committee is key. You’ll want
to tailor your calibrated
questions to identify and unearth the motivations of those
behind the table, including:
