Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

SECTION II: SUMMARY
Summarize and write out in just a couple of sentences the
known facts that have led up to the negotiation.
You’re going to have to have something to talk about
beyond a self-serving assessment of what you want. And
you had better be ready to respond with tactical empathy to
your counterpart’s arguments; unless they’re incompetent,
the other party will come prepared to argue an interpretation
of the facts that favors them.
Get on the same page at the outset.
You have to clearly describe the lay of the land before
you can think about acting in its confines. Why are you
there? What do you want? What do they want? Why?
You must be able to summarize a situation in a way that
your counterpart will respond with a “That’s right.” If they
don’t, you haven’t done it right.
SECTION III: LABELS/ACCUSATION AUDIT
Prepare three to five labels to perform an accusation audit.
Anticipate how your counterpart feels about these facts
you’ve just summarized. Make a concise list of any
accusations they might make—no matter how unfair or
ridiculous they might be. Then turn each accusation into a

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list of no more than five labels and spend a little time role-
playing it.
There are fill-in-the-blank labels that can be used in
nearly every situation to extract information from your
counterpart, or defuse an accusation:
It seems like _________ is valuable to you.
It seems like you don’t like _________.
It seems like you value __________.
It seems like _________ makes it easier.
It seems like you’re reluctant to _________.
As an example, if you’re trying to renegotiate an
apartment lease to allow subletters and you know the
landlord is opposed to them, your prepared labels would be
on the lines of “It seems as though you’re not a fan of
subletters” or “It seems like you want stability with your
tenants.”