Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

TAKING A PUNCH
Negotiation academics like to treat bargaining as a rational
process devoid of emotion. They talk about the ZOPA—or
Zone of Possible Agreement—which is where the seller’s
and buyer’s zones cross. Say Tony wants to sell his car and
won’t take less than $5,000 and Samantha wants to buy but
won’t pay more than $6,000. The ZOPA runs from $5,000
to $6,000. Some deals have ZOPAs and some don’t. It’s all
very rational.
Or so they’d have you think.
You need to disabuse yourself of that notion. In a real

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bargaining session, kick-ass negotiators don’t use ZOPA.
Experienced negotiators often lead with a ridiculous offer,
an extreme anchor. And if you’re not prepared to handle it,
you’ll lose your moorings and immediately go to your
maximum. It’s human nature. Like the great ear-biting
pugilist Mike Tyson once said, “Everybody has a plan until
they get punched in the mouth.”
As a well-prepared negotiator who seeks information
and gathers it relentlessly, you’re actually going to want the
other guy to name a price first, because you want to see his
hand. You’re going to welcome the extreme anchor. But
extreme anchoring is powerful and you’re human: your
emotions may well up. If they do there are ways to weather
the storm without bidding against yourself or responding
with anger. Once you learn these tactics, you’ll be prepared
to withstand the hit and counter with panache.
First, deflect the punch in a way that opens up your
counterpart. Successful negotiators often say “No” in one of
the many ways we’ve talked about (“How am I supposed to
accept that?”) or deflect the anchor with questions like
“What are we trying to accomplish here?” Responses like
these are great ways to refocus your counterpart when you
feel you’re being pulled into the compromise trap.
You can also respond to a punch-in-the-face anchor by
simply pivoting to terms. What I mean by this is that when
you feel you’re being dragged into a haggle you can detour
the conversation to the nonmonetary issues that make any
final price work.

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You can do this directly by saying, in an encouraging
tone of voice, “Let’s put price off to the side for a moment
and talk about what would make this a good deal.” Or you
could go at it more obliquely by asking, “What else would
you be able to offer to make that a good price for me?”
And if the other side pushes you to go first, wriggle from
his grip. Instead of naming a price, allude to an incredibly
high number that someone else might charge. Once when a
hospital chain wanted me to name a price first, I said, “Well,
if you go to Harvard Business School, they’re going to
charge you $2,500 a day per student.”
No matter what happens, the point here is to sponge up
information from your counterpart. Letting your counterpart
anchor first will give you a tremendous feel for him. All you
need to learn is how to take the first punch.
One of my Georgetown MBA students, a guy named
Farouq, showed how not to fold after being punched when
he went to hit up the MBA dean for funds to hold a big
alumni event in Dubai. It was a desperate situation, because
he needed $600 and she was his last stop.
At the meeting, Farouq told the dean about how excited
the students were about the trip and how beneficial it would
be for the Georgetown MBA brand in the region.
Before he could even finish, the dean jumped in.
“Sounds like a great trip you guys are planning,” she
said. “But money is tight and I could authorize no more than
$300.”
Farouq hadn’t expected the dean to go so quickly. But

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things don’t always go according to plan.
“That is a very generous offer given your budget limits,
but I am not sure how that would help us achieve a great
reception for the alums in the region,” Farouq said,
acknowledging her limits but saying no without using the
word. Then he dropped an extreme anchor. “I have a very
high amount in my head: $1,000 is what we need.”
As expected, the extreme anchor quickly knocked the
dean off her limit.
“That is severely out of my range and I am sure I can’t
authorize that. However, I will give you $500.”
Farouq was half-tempted to fold—being $100 short
wasn’t make-or-break—but he remembered the curse of
aiming low. He decided to push forward.
The $500 got him closer to the goal but not quite there,
he said; $850 would work.
The dean replied by saying that she was already giving
more than what she wanted and $500 was reasonable. At
this point, if Farouq had been less prepared he would have
given up, but he was ready for the punches.
“I think your offer is very reasonable and I understand
your restrictions, but I need more money to put on a great
show for the school,” he said. “How about $775?”
The dean smiled, and Farouq knew he had her.
“You seem to have a specific number in your head that
you are trying to get to,” she said. “Just tell it to me.”
At that point Farouq was happy to give her his number
as he felt she was sincere.

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“I need $737.50 to make this work and you are my last
stop,” he said.
She laughed.
The dean then praised him for knowing what he wanted
and said she’d check her budget. Two days later, Farouq got
an email saying her office would put in $750.