No Longer Human Osamu Dazai


absence from school with the same illness that killed his father. Her



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absence from school with the same illness that killed his father. Her
father-in-law lay abed in the house with palsy. She herself had been
unable to move one side of her body since she was five, when she had
infantile paralysis. Hobbling here and there in the shop on her crutches
she selected various medicines from the different shelves, and explained
what they were.
This is a medicine to build your blood.
This is a serum for vitamin injections. Here is the hypodermic
needle.
These are calcium pills. This is diastase to keep you from getting an
upset stomach.
Her voice was full of tenderness as she explained each of the half-
dozen medicines. The affection of this unhappy woman was however to
prove too intense. At the last she said, "This is a medicine to be used
when you need a drink so badly you can't stand it." She quickly
wrapped the little box.
It was morphine.
She said that it was no more harmful than liquor, and I believed her.
For one thing, I was just at the stage where I had come to feel the
squalor of drunkenness, and I was overjoyed to be able to escape after
such long bondage to the devil called alcohol. Without a flicker of
hesitation I injected the morphine into my arm. My insecurity,
fretfulness and timidity were swept away completely; I turned into an
expansively optimistic and fluent talker. The injections made me forget
how weak my body was, and I applied myself energetically to my
cartoons. Sometimes I would burst out laughing even while I was
drawing.
I had intended to take one shot a day, but it became two, then three;
when it reached four I could no longer work unless I had my shots.
All I needed was the woman at the pharmacy to admonish me, saying

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